


Exile

by phantomofsam



Series: Thorin and Eril [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Blood, DEFINITE SPOILERS, F/M, How Do I Tag, PS, Pining, Smut, Thorin's totally in love with an elf, Thranduil's a dick, Who Knows?, a story for another day, also a hobbit but that's another story, besties, bilbo and the OC are friends, chapters are tagged, for all three films, for story purposes, i'll let you know, look in the description for a trigger warning, nope - Freeform, the elf and the hobbit, there will be blood - Freeform, there's definitely smut, they have asterisks, you'll know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:08:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8563438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomofsam/pseuds/phantomofsam
Summary: Eril was thrust out of the Sindarin forests when she chose to help instead of condemn. Amongst dwarves and elves she is unwelcome. She has a chance for redemption when Gandalf the Gray comes to here with the most unusual request.
“You would then condemn an entire race for the actions of one leader?” I countered, rounding on Thorin.
“If those actions condemned my brothers, I would!” Thorin practically spat at me.
“Then you are in fact, my lord,” I said the words with a patronizing tone Thorin didn’t care for, “doomed to fail on your quest.”
For those just passing through, here are the chapters with smut: 7, 11, 12If you are actually here but don't want the smut, beware- there will be one or two that have plot and where you can skip the smut, I promise. Thanks for reading.
There is a sequel! Here's a link!  Returned link





	1. The End of Days

**Author's Note:**

> yo! I know I'm writing like ten stories, but this one is 1/3 of the way done. Aw yeah guys. I entirely blame Thorin Oakenshield's Majestic Diary.

I grew up in the forests of the Woodland elves. I was the daughter of someone on Thranduil’s court. My mother was from Rivendell and my father was a diplomat. Their marriage had been arranged long before they met, which was rare, but not unheard of. Still, I believe that they loved each other. It was good for me to be in the court, I supposed. I had access to the best training, the best supplies, the best, well, everything. It was a life that many elves wished for. When Thranduil saw my prowess with a bow, he recruited me into his armies. 

I don’t know how many battles I fought in for him.

I loved the forests. I loved all of what I was given. It was a good life. There were times of peace and times of war. Thranduil eventually brought me onto his court as a strategist. It was a great honour, one that I didn’t take lightly. I did my best to lead Thranduil down the right paths. I had my morals. I was very fond of them. I felt a strong need to help as many people as I could when I could. Those in need. It was a good way to form allies and stop others from joining our enemy’s side in a war. Thranduil sometimes lacked the same foresight. Too many times I watched people perish because of his orders. I never said anything.

Legolas and I rarely spoke. He was constantly out hunting or scouting. It was his way of staying out of Thranduil’s grasp as best he could. Ah, to be young and rebellious. I used to be very similar to him in that regard.

The days of peace that I had grown used to could only last so long. Everything turned into smoke in one day.

On that day, my life, along with many others, was destroyed. On that day, the world went up in fire and smoke.

When the dragon Smaug descended on Erebor, Thranduil immediately gathered his armies. I, being one of the best archers he had, was amongst them, standing next to him and his son as we travelled. I was prepared to help our dwarven brethren. It was the Elves’ duty as allies to the dwarves. I could remember a time when they had been at war. Those times were finished, I silently hoped. It would be the best for us all in the long run.

We arrived in the middle of the battle for Erebor. It was quite a sight to behold. The level destruction that Smaug had caused in such a short span of time was truly magnificent. When Thranduil saw it, much to my own dismay, he ordered for the army to turn around. How could I when there were so many in need? 

“We can’t abandon them, Thranduil!” I exclaimed, stepping in front of Thranduil’s mount.

For the first time in all the years I had known him, Thranduil looked down at me in disgust. I stood my ground confidently. I knew that I was right. 

“Then help them, Eril, but if you do, then do not bother coming back to the forests. We have no need for those that don’t follow orders.” Thranduil looked away and moved his moose around me.

I watched helplessly as my brothers and sisters abandoned me, marching back towards their homeland. I turned back to Erebor. I wouldn’t abandon them. They needed as much help as they could get, even if it was only from one. I ran down the hill, carefully maneuvering my way towards those that looked like they needed the most help. I did what I could, my bow and quiver weighing down on my back. I did my best not to think about what I had left behind. If Smaug got too close to where I was, I would send an arrow his way. They simply glanced off his hide, but they did deter him, if only for a moment.

As I helped families out of burning homes and onto the road, they thanked me and ran. I helped as many as I could. I looked back towards the fallen mountain. I could see Thorin Oakenshield standing amongst his people. He looked around in horror. I did my best to help, but I alone couldn’t save many. Erebor was lost because my people, my leader, refused to help.

What did that make me?

What was I now? I had no home. No people. Nothing.

I walked away from Erebor alone to face my exile. I had done the right thing, made the correct choice. What more could I ask for? What did I have if not my morals?

~-~-~-~-~-

I found work easily enough, wherever people would have me. I had worked as a hunter, a gatherer, an innkeeper, many things that I had a skill for or could learn quickly. I think those that hired me just enjoyed saying they had an elf working for them. I had the light gray eyes of the Woodland elves and the dark hair of those from Rivendell. It was something of a novelty, really. 

I had never really heard of an Elf that had chosen exile over the people. We were social creatures by nature. To be alone was unheard of. I found solace in knowing I had done what was right.

It didn’t always work. I never regretted my decision, just the outcome.

I found the most steady work tending a bar at a tavern. I refused to serve the customers the way the other girls did, so they put me behind the bar. It wasn’t the most prestigious work, but it was better than nothing. I got room and board. It was nice enough. I heard rumours of the dwarves from time to time. Tales of smoke still coming from the mountain. I heard of the Battle of Moira. No one won that fight and both sides suffered terrible losses. They could make more orcs. The dwarves were lost. I wanted to help, but I couldn’t. I could only offer my condolences to the few dwarves that came by. They all looked at me the same way Thranduil had that day.

That look of disgust. 

I hated it.

I always shook it off. Every once and awhile, I’d meet a dwarf that I had helped. They would thank me and then leave with their drinks. I tried to show them work. They thanked me again and left. I rarely saw them ever again. Those days, it was hard to forget what I had lost. Amongst Elves and dwarves I was scorned and hated. I had no one and nowhere. That was my fate. I accepted it. I firmly believed that the way someone embraced their actions said more about them then the actions themselves. So I took what I was given with as much grace as I could muster.

It was years since that day. I had lost count, myself. I saw no point in keeping track. My exile was forever. That was a long time for an elf.

It was the end of a long day. The tavern was closed. I was in charge of counting the coins at the end of the day and giving out the pay the next morning. I always reminded myself of the much worse jobs I had had over the years. I worked as a miner once. That had been unpleasant, to say the least. I finished counting and shovelled the coins into a small leather purse. Someone came inside. We really needed a way to lock the door.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we are closed for business until tomorrow morning. If you’re looking for a room, there’s an inn not far down the road.” I said automatically.

“Have you no time for an old friend?” 

I looked up. It couldn’t be. 

“Gandalf!” I stood up, smiling as we embraced. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in the shire! Don’t they have a festival coming up? You should be selling fireworks.”

“I think they can get on without me for one day. Now, I came here to speak to my favourite elf.”

“Then state your business, please. Would like a drink?”

“A brandy, if you please. Only a little, I still have quite a journey ahead of me.”

I went behind the bar and started to fix his drink. I was cautious around the old wizard. I always was, because I knew that if Gandalf came to my doorstep, it would hardly be for idle chit chat. No, he had something planned. I could see it in his eyes. There was a part of me, a very deep part that I had all but forgotten about, that wanted to know with a great fury what he could possibly want with me. I was a washed up old archer that hadn’t stood for anything in years. Surely he could see that. 

We continued with our small talk for a short while. I listened to his stories, carefully nodding along and adding a few comments here and there. I was wondering the whole time when he would get to his point. To the real reason he was here. Once his brandy was finished, the tone of the conversation changed drastically. He set the glass down on the table and looked at me with a serious expression. He lit whatever was in his pipe and inhaled deeply. The smoke moved around me, obscuring my vision but not my mind.

“Why are you here, Gandalf?” I finally asked.

“Do I need a reason to visit an old friend?” He scoffed.

“Yes.”

He sighed and smiled lightly. “Always so clever, Eril. Yes, there is something I would like to discuss with you. Something of the utmost importance.”

“Then spit it out! I haven’t got all night.”

“A chance at redemption.”

“Why would I want that?”

“I know you better than you know yourself, it would seem. I can see that you wish to return to your home in the forests. I see the way the jobs you take are slowly killing your spirit. I’m offering you a chance for great adventure. A noble quest. One I think you will gladly embark on.”

“What is this noble quest?”

“Surely you have noticed that the smoke no longer leaves Erebor. Did you not wonder when I would ask for your assistance?”

“Smaug.”

“Dead or gone, we believe.”

“‘We’?”

“A company of 15 to leave for the mountain in less than a week. They are in dire need of a good archer and I can think of none better than you.”

“I take it dwarves would be my companions.”

“Of course.”

I sighed heavily. Did he forget so easily what dwarves thought of my kind? Or what my kind thought of dwarves? This would not be an easy journey, were I to leave with them. I could only imagine the perils that would follow us because of myself. We would not be able to travel through the forests, the quickest way to Erebor. This was a foolish idea. Anyone with two eyes would be able to see that. But Gandalf, he was ever the optimist. He was looking at me expectantly. I had no answer for him and that was the truth. I wanted to leave, but I knew this was a journey for the dwarves. They would not welcome me into their company.

I should stay with the tavern. It wasn’t a bad job, steady work and good stories every night. I had been here for months. I could make a home here. It could be nice, a good place to stay for longer than I usually did. 

Gandalf could see my hesitation and I could see his frustration steadily growing with me. Suddenly, I understood why.

“Which one is with you, then? Which of the dwarves of Erebor waits for us outside those doors?”

“The rightful King of the Mountain.” Gandalf said simply.

“Thorin.”

“Indeed.”

I stood quickly. How could he bring Thorin here, of all places? I would instantly be shunned by him. I may have seen him on that fateful day, but he had not seen me. Any elf could tell you of his hatred of us all. It was almost like a legend. How many stories had I heard of his brawls with elves who simply looked at him? No, this was a very bad idea.

“Why would you bring Thorin here? Does he know what, or rather who, you are asking? He won’t take me into his company, you know this. Has your old age finally muddled your brain?” I exclaimed. “Or perhaps the smoke is rotting your mind.”

“I think you’ll find I am thinking clearly, my dear. You have a skill we can utilise on this journey. There is nothing more important than that.” He said in a matter of fact tone that I hated.

“I would not be so sure. Call in your companion, see for yourself what he says. If Thorin agrees, I shall go. If not, I will stay here.”

Gandalf agreed to my terms and went to fetch Thorin. I already knew what the Dwarf king’s reaction would be. He would storm out of the tavern, cursing Gandalf for bringing him so close to an elf. In fact, I was surprised he hadn’t already burst through the door complaining of the odor of an elf. Maybe I had lost the scent. Gandalf got up and walked outside. I heard words exchanged in hurried whispers between them. 

Gandalf was the first to enter the tavern. He stepped to the side of the door to allow Thorin to walk inside. The first thing I noticed of him was his clothing. Despite the ragged nature of them, anyone could tell that he was of noble descent. Gandalf must’ve told him very little about the archer he was looking to hire. I stood up straighter. The next thing I saw was that he was tall for a dwarf, reaching my shoulder. He was either a very tall dwarf or I was a very short elf. Perhaps it was a combination of the two. Despite my vertical advantage, he still managed to look down on me. His beard was unkempt and his hair was wild. They had been travelling for a long time indeed.

Thorin looked over me with the same acute eye I had with him. He took in what I was wearing. When he finally reached my face, I could see the immediate recognition and disgust. I muttered a Sindarin curse under my breath. This was a bad idea.

“This is the archer you spoke of so highly to me? An… elf?” Thorin spat.

I didn’t know why, but I wanted to respond angrily. I had never before been mad when someone used elf as a derogatory term. There was just something about him that made me inexplicably angry.

“This is the mighty king you spoke of?” I retorted, crossing my arms.

“I will not have an elf.”

“I told you, Gandalf.”

“Thorin, you’ll not find a better archer.” Gandalf insisted.

“Then I’d rather have no archer! It is better than having to put up with an elf.”

“You think so little of all elves? I wonder why that is.” 

Of course I knew the answer. I was just curious what he would say in retaliation.

“Your Lord Thranduil abandoned us.” Thorin said darkly.

“You would then condemn an entire race for the actions of one leader?” I countered, rounding on Thorin.

“If those actions condemned my brothers, I would!” Thorin practically spat at me.

“Then you are in fact, _my lord _,” I said the words with a patronizing tone Thorin didn’t care for, “doomed to fail on your quest.”__

__He had an expression of anger that reflected that of his people. He was truly an empathic king. I uncrossed my arms and sighed._ _

__“I am Eril Trahandiel of the Sindarin forests, former member of Thranduil’s court and I am willing and able to help you on your quest to take back your home, if you'll have me.” I had one hand on my chest and the other folded behind my back. My head was slightly bowed. Thorin acknowledged my show of respect._ _

__“You would be a fool to reject her help, Thorin.” Gandalf warned._ _

__Thorin weighed his options. I could see in his eyes that he knew my name. Many Kings and warriors did. Thranduil's best archer, fighting all foes with wit. I would be a valuable ally and Thorin knew that. I could see it in his body language. He was uncomfortable with the mere idea of having to rely on an elf even for a second. He could either hold onto his hatred of elves and perish, or swallow his foolish pride and prevail. Either way, the decision was his. I held my salute as Thorin thought through the choice._ _

__“Fine,” He finally said with reluctance, “she can come. But she will be under guard. Should she choose to leave the company under any circumstances before our mission is complete, she will be exiled from Erebor and all of its territories. Is this understood?”_ _

__“Agreed.” I said._ _

__Thorin and I shook hands. There was a contract produced that I read through and signed. I understood why all of these precautions were being made and why Thorin was acting in the manner that he was. The elves had abandoned him once; what was to stop them from doing the same thing once more? His reasoning didn’t make his disdain any more bearable. I was to go on a journey while he was constantly glaring at me? It was not my place to question him or challenge him. It was my duty to help the dwarves reclaim their home from the terrible dragon. It was something I had pledged to myself a long time ago._ _

__Gandalf seemed happy with our little arrangement, seemingly oblivious to the angry looks Thorin and I sent each other’s ways. He left us alone, despite both of us protesting. He only gave us an address and a time to be there. After that, he disappeared into the night._ _

__Thorin was quite insistent on leaving that night. I decided it would be best not to argue with him about the matter. I left a note for the owner, along with the leather bag of money, minus my day’s pay. I did manage to talk Thorin into allowing me to prepare myself. I disappeared into my quarters. I made sure that the door was closed and I would not be disturbed. I reached under my bed and retrieved the wooden chest from the floor boards. I flipped open the latch._ _

__My old gear was stored in this chest. I pulled out the bow. Even now, it still glowed with a slight golden hue. I carefully strung it, running my hand across the smooth wood and smiling. I notched an arrow and let it fly. It sank in the centre of the door. I still had my old touch. I changed into the travelling gear and left the room. Thorin was waiting, rather impatiently for me to descend._ _

__“Ready then?”_ _

__“Let’s go. Where did Gandalf say this meeting was?”_ _

__“The Shire.”_ _

__“Hobbits. Brilliant.”_ _

__“If you’ve a problem with our companions, then you can leave.”_ _

__“You think so lowly of me despite not knowing me.” I shook my head. “I will not leave until the journey’s end, Thorin. On that you have my word, whatever that may mean to you.”_ _

__“It means nothing.”_ _

__I said nothing more on the matter. We began our journey to the Shire. There was a small house in Bag End that we were to go to and meet the others. It was little more than a week’s journey. We didn’t speak much, although I did chuckle when he got lost. Twice. Each time he looked back at me with venom in his eyes. I had no reason to treat Thorin the way that I was. Something about him just rubbed me the wrong way. Perhaps it was his arrogance. It reminded far too much of Thranduil. I could easily see him heading down a similar path to the Elven King, perhaps even Thror._ _

__Once we were attacked by bandits on the road. They had seen the fine clothes of a king and thought us easy targets. We easily proved them wrong. That was the only moment on the week long journey that Thorin and I were at least friendly. Once we were done sending them running home, we actually laughed together. It didn’t last long. We remembered who we were with and stopped smiling and continued walking._ _

__That was the first time I thought that Thorin might actually make a good friend. How foolish._ _

__Our journey continued. We were less than a day away from the Shire. There was promise of a magic rune to show us the way. I hoped it would be easy to find. Getting lost wouldn’t be much fun the third time. We arrived at the little round door late into the night. I could see the little rune Gandalf had etched at the bottom. This was the right place. Thorin knocked on the door three times loudly. All the noise inside halted. The door opened. Twelve dwarves, a hobbit, and Gandalf were all gathered._ _

__So the journey began._ _


	2. An Unexpected Journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's expanding over all three movies (the whole book) in one fanfic. I'll put which movie it's representing in the chapter title when it starts on that movie this is bad english please forgive me AHHHHH

Thorin entered first. The dwarves backed away from him in respect.

“I thought you said this place would be easy to find. We got lost.” Thorin said.

“Twice.” I added. “Wouldn’t have found it at all if it weren’t for that mark on the door.”

The dwarves looked up at me. They all appeared shocked to see an elf, travelling with Thorin no less. Thorin made no other mention of me, hardly even acknowledging I was there. The others followed in suit. At last, I had some peace.

“There is no mark on that door!” Bilbo exclaimed as I closed it. “It was just painted last week!”

“There is a mark, I put it there myself.”

Bilbo looked positively murderous. Well, as murderous as a hobbit could look. Thorin rounded on Bilbo, pacing in a circle around him. Thorin’s eyes traced up and down Bilbo’s form, taking in his clothing and demeanor. Bilbo stood as tall as he could, but he was still a head shorter than Thorin. Thorin stopped in front of Bilbo. I crossed my arms and leaned against one of the walls, careful of my bow. Here was his long list of questions by which he would judge someone before he ever saw what they really were like.

“So, this is the Hobbit.” Thorin said finally. “Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?” 

“Pardon me?” Bilbo sounded genuinely offended. Or afraid.

“Axe or sword? What’s your weapon of choice?” 

“Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that’s relevant.” 

“Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.” Thorin chuckled at his own joke, the others following in suit.

They led him to the dining hall. I thought it best that I remain on the outskirts of the little group. dwarves were fiercely loyal, and just as suspicious of newcomers. I could only imagine what went through their heads when they realised what I was. Or what would happen if they hadn’t already. Yes, best to keep my distance. Thorin presented Ballin with my contract. Balin looked back at me and nodded. He folded the contract and packed it into one of his many pockets. Bilbo looked flustered.

“I don’t suppose you’ll be eating as well, then? Do elves eat like the dwarves?” He asked me with a heavy sigh and a forced smile.

“No, I will not be joining them. I’ve eaten enough to last me a few days, at the least. Elves do not eat nearly as often as dwarves, nor as much. What about you, Master Baggins? Have you had something to eat? I have served a few hobbits in my day. I seem to recall they eat quite a bit.”

“Well, it would be improper for me to-”

“Nonsense. It is far worse for the guests to leave the host to starve.”

Bilbo had nothing to say to that. He just remained still while I stealthily moved around the dwarves, grabbing the little food that was left. Thorin meet my eye and saw what I was doing. He huffed and went back to his own meal. Bilbo muttered a thank you and went to eat somewhere else not too far off. I kept a small glass of wine for myself. Balin and Thorin talked of the other Dwarf kingdoms. They had no allies. Not even the other dwarves would help in this quest. Perhaps it was truly impossible. 

I would not leave. I had given my word.

This was not just a chance for my own redemption. It was a chance for all the elves to be redeemed in Thorin’s eyes. He would be a great ally, no matter how much he annoyed me. I could only imagine what he would do the other elven leaders. It was a great source of worry to me. Still, he had loyalty. There was nothing more that one could ask for from those that would follow him into battle.I could only hope that he would soon see that he had mine as well. I silently prayed that I had not picked yet another foolish leader to follow.

“This is our quest, and ours alone.” Thorin said. The other dwarves quieted and nodded. They understood the risk that was being taken.

“You’re going on a quest?” Bilbo asked.

“Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have some more light.” Gandalf asked kindly.

Bilbo complied. While he was gone, Gandalf carefully pulled a map from his robes. Thorin looked at it in shock, like something he hadn’t seen in years. He reached out to touch it but stopped himself halfway. Bilbo came back with a candle. 

“The Lost Mountain?” He read.

“Erebor.” I said quietly. I traced a finger over the dragon at the top.

Thorin studied my face, giving nothing away in his own expression. Oin and Gloin spoke of the prophecy. I had seen the signs but chosen to ignore them. Too long I had been trying to run away from what I had been and what I had seen. I hardly even looked at the mountain and when I did, I wanted there to be smoke. It would mean that I would not be called on. 

How foolish of me.

Ori spoke of the dragon, Smaug. He gave the generic description one would give of a dragon. It was nowhere near what the truth was. They couldn’t even imagine it. Thorin briefly met my eyes. We had an understanding. We had both faced the dragon and lived to tell the tale. Not that it was a tale worth retelling. I had never met someone that willingly told the story without several mugs of ale. I looked away from Thorin.

“The task would be difficult enough with an army,” Balin sighed, “and we number just thirteen.”

“Fourteen.” Thorin said with reluctance again. “Including the elf.”

“The elf has a name.” I protested under my breath. Thorin glared at me.

“Fourteen.” Balin nodded to me without actually looking at me. “And not the best, strongest, or brightest.”

The dwarves started to argue. I rested my head in my hands. What had I signed up for? Was it always going to be like this with them, or would I get moments of respite? This is what I had signed up for, not just today but so long ago. The day the world around us ended. I had decided to stand by the dwarves, might as well get used to it. Gandalf looked at me with an amused expression. I shook my head at him but found myself smiling nonetheless. They were a lively bunch, I had to admit. Very much like brothers.

I remembered my own family and my own home and looked away from them. Banished as they were, they had each other. More than I could say for myself. I shook my head. I had to learn to stop dwelling on such things as that. I looked up and made my face a mask. It was all I could do in the midst of this company.

“We may be few in number, but we’re fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf!” Fili managed to get his voice heard above the rest.

“And you forget, we have a wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time.” Kili added.

They truly were naive. I kept my laugh to myself as Gandalf became flustered, searching for an answer. There was none. As great of a wizard Gandalf was, very few had actually killed a dragon, let alone seen one. Gandalf had seen many a dragon but it was hard to slay one. It was a great source of amusement for me. He looked to me for help. I shook my head and kept my smile suppressed. None of the others seemed to notice, not even Thorin, who had been keeping an eye on me since we had met.

Again, the dwarves started to argue, this time about the number of dragons Gandalf had killed. I could see Thorin getting progressively more angry with his brethren. 

“Shazara!” Thorin yelled, effectively silencing his fellow dwarves. They all turned to him. “If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!”

All the dwarves began to cheer with him. I held up my glass in acknowledgment. It would have been wrong for me to join in with their battle cry. Erebor was their rightful home. No one else had any claim to it. 60 years, it had been. It was well past time that they got Erebor back to it’s rightful owners. Bilbo still looked terrified. He seemed even more terrified as the dwarves made more and more noise. 

“You forget: the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain.” Balin said when the cry was over. 

We were all brought back to reality. dwarves were fond of their protection and used magic liberally to hide what was theirs. 

“That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.” Gandalf said.

He reached into his robes and pulled out a dwarvish key. It was ornately wrought, a truly beautiful piece of craftsmanship. Thorin’s face revealed his wonder. It was yet another relic from Erebor he had not seen for ages. Something that he had thought he would never see again. It was on a leather chain that looked more like a shoelace. Not something that should have been holding such an item. 

“How came you by this?” Thorin asked. He didn’t reach for the key, almost like he was afraid to hold it in his hands. 

“It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now.”

Gandalf handed the key to Thorin. The other dwarves reflected his expression of wonder. Thorin took the key with care. He looked back up at Gandalf. I could tell that he was grateful to the wizard for all he had done. For keeping the key safe all this time. Balin looked the most amazed out of them all. I could only imagine what this key meant to them. It was the very embodiment of what they were searching for. It was what they needed to reclaim their home. Even now I could imagine all of the dwarves from under the mountain, those that remained, returning to their homes. Rebuilding. Starting over again. That was what this key represented.

“If there is a key, there must be a door.” Fili exclaimed, the smile returning to his face.

Gandalf pointed to the runes on the map with his pipe. I could only make out a little of what it said. It was ancient. “These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls.” 

“There’s another way in!” Kili said in amazement.

“Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle Earth who can.” Gandalf looked over at all of us, his expression steely and the tone serious. “The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done.” 

“That’s why we need a burglar.” Ori looked up at Bilbo.

Bilbo sniffed and put his hands in his pockets. He gave of an air of arrogance, not ignorance. Poor Bilbo. “Hm, A good one, too. An expert, I’d imagine.” 

“And are you?” Gloin asked.

“Am I what?” 

“He said he’s an expert! Hey hey!” Oin started to laugh, the others joining in.

“M-me? No, no, no, no, no. I’m not a burglar; I’ve never stolen a thing in my life!” Bilbo stammered.

“I’m afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins.” Balin sighed. “He’s hardly burglar material.” 

Dwalin agreed. Bilbo was nodding and pointing to agree with what they had said. I could already see the frustration growing in Gandalf’s eyes. I sighed and moved a little ways from the room. Gandalf rose to his full height and cast a shadow over the company. The arguing ceased immediately. All eyes were on Gandalf as he began to speak.

“Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is.” Gandalf returned to his usual calm self, settling back down in a chair. “Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth and fifteenth members of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins and Lady Eril. There’s a lot more to Mr. Baggins than appearances suggest, and he’s got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this.”

“Very well. We will do it your way.” Thorin nodded. His mind was made up on the matter.

“No, no, no.” Bilbo protested.

“Give him the contract.” 

Bilbo protested once more feebly as Balin pulled out the same contract Thorin had given me. Bilbo rather reluctantly took hold of the contract with shaking hands.

“It’s just the usual summary of out of pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.” Balin explained, rolling back a little on his feet as he spoke.

“Funeral arrangements?” Bilbo said in disbelief.

Bilbo took a few steps back to read the contract. Thorin whispered something to Gandalf that I couldn’t quite make out. I leaned back against the wall again and closed my eyes. The quest for the Lost Mountain, featuring thirteen dwarves, an elf, and a hobbit. Bilbo read out a section of the contract  
aloud but still to himself. He was at the part about the injuries. That had been my favourite bit. I found myself mouthing the words along as Bilbo spoke them in utter disbelief. 

“Incineration?!” He said incredulously.

“Oh, aye, he’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.” Bofur said.

Bilbo was starting to look rather ill.

“You all right, laddie?” Balin asked.

“Uh, yeah...Feel a bit faint.” 

“Think furnace with wings.” I could kill Bofur. Did he really think that that was helping? “Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! you’re nothing more than a pile of ash.”

I could see Bilbo struggling to compose himself as we all stared at him. He muttered something to himself and fell to the floor with a little turn. Gandalf let out a heavy sigh and chastised Bofur. I walked to Bilbo’s sleeping form. If I wasn’t mistaken, I still had some smelling salts in one of my pockets. I found the salt stick and held it under Bilbo’s nose. He woke up suddenly. I ran a hand down his back and whispered a few words to calm him. His eyes glazed over for a moment while I helped him to a chair. I went into his kitchen and found a clean cup and some tea leaves. It was chamomile. That would help him stay calm, at least. It only took a moment to make the tea. Bilbo took the mug from me and smiled appreciatively. Thorin was in the corner with his arms crossed. He had a cross face to match.

I couldn’t tell which of us would annoy him more. Bilbo had ignorance, but I was an elf. I was a member of the race that had abandoned his people, even if I had helped them to the best of my ability. I didn’t care. He was allowed to believe what he wanted to believe. I had no say in the matter. I did want to change the way he saw us. It was just in my nature. I shook my head and went back to leaning against the wall. Every once and awhile, I'd sense one of the dwarves staring at me. I would open one eye and they'd instantly look away. I wondered if that was fear or disdain.

Or disgust.

I shook my head. Why did I always come back to that train of thought? Balin and Thorin were left alone in the dining room, talking in hushed voices as they waited to see what Bilbo would decide. He was being very silent. He was probably still in shock. Damn Bofur. Eventually, Bilbo was able to speak again, but he would only talk to Gandalf. Gandalf did his best to talk Bilbo into taking the job and going on the adventure. They spoke of Bilbo’s lineage. They were being rather loud. Still, I could only make out snippets of what was exchanged behind the closed door. Finally, the door opened. Bilbo exited the room and walked down the hall. He kept his head low as he passed the rest of us. 

We all knew what he had decided. I could hear Gandalf sigh in disappointment. Thorin didn’t look at all surprised by Bilbo’s choice. Honestly, neither was I. We would have to continue just the fourteen of us. There were worse numbers to travel in. I finally stood and started to make my way to one of the many rooms in the house. As I passed by the table where Thorin and Balin were sitting, I couldn’t help but overhear what they were saying.

“And what of the elf, Thorin? Can we truly trust her?” Balin asked.

“Gandalf says she is trustworthy, but I do not desire her help. There’s too much secrecy around her, even for an elf,” Thorin spat the word. “I expect her to leave the first chance she gets.”

“Do you really believe she would?”

“I do.”

I had no illusions about what Thorin thought of me. It was just strange to hear him say the words aloud. He didn’t know that I heard him say that. It was a long time before I told him. Even then, it seemed unreal. I had no love for dwarves, but I had never, in all my life, felt the same way about dwarves that Thorin did about elves. About me.

I continued on my way. I found a small room that was nice enough to sleep in. I took off my bow and quiver. I put them carefully down. I settled onto one of the armchairs and closed my eyes. I could hear the dwarves singing a solemn tune about their lost home. The soft melody lulled me to sleep, granting me dreams of gold and plenty. 

I was woken up by a sharp pain in my side. Gandalf was poking me with his walking stick. I stood up and stretched out my tired limbs. I gathered my things and went outside. Thorin was the only other one that was awake that I saw. He was looking out over the Shire. Gandalf had found sixteen ponies and two horses. I walked to the gate and leaned against it.

“It’s a beautiful place.” I commented.

Thorin looked back at me before turning back to the hills. “It is nothing to Erebor.”

“I remember Erebor. I only went twice. I remember thinking about how beautiful it was.”

“Yes. It was.” 

I knew the unspoken words. The words that he was holding back. ‘No thanks to you’. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath of fresh air. My mind travelled to Mirkwood. It’s beautiful trees, the kingdom hidden in the forests. You could walk for hours there. I used to. I pushed off of the fence and walked to the darker of the two horses. I gently ran a hand down his neck, whispering quietly. He nickered at me. 

“I want you to know that not all elves are what you think.” I said quietly. Thorin didn’t respond. “Not all of them wanted to follow Thranduil. He’s a weak and cowardly king.”

“Why do you hate him?”

“My reasons are my own,” I said quickly, “and as valid as any other. Perhaps not as much so as yours.”

I looked off into the hills. For another instant, Thorin and I were not enemies. We weren’t an elf and a dwarf, we were nearly friends. Or at least friendly. He stood next to me by the horse. We didn’t have to say anything else. When Gandalf came out with the other dwarves trailing sleepily behind him, he moved to tend to one of the ponies. He was securing one of the knots when they came yawning into the yard. Each of us took our mounts and took off through the Shire. The hobbits that arose early looked at us curiously but said nothing. It was in their nature. 

When we started to get bored, we made wagers on whether or not Bilbo would end up joining us after all. I bet for him. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted adventure. From the first moment he had learned this was a quest, it had been there. Dormant and waiting. 

Gandalf and I stayed close to one another near the middle of the pack. Thorin was in the front with Balin. The rest were scattered throughout. We had made it far into the woods before we heard the yells of a young hobbit, ready to begin his life of adventure. I looked back with a little smile before pulling back slightly on my reins to stop the horse. The others followed in suit. Bilbo was running with the contract in his hand. He passed it up to Balin. Balin inspected it and deemed everything was in order. Thorin seemed to not care at all. He looked back to the front and we started moving forward. 

“Get him a pony.” Thorin said.

Bilbo began insisting that he could just walk. I’m not sure he realised just how far away Erebor actually was. Or how hard this journey would be. Fili and Kili picked up Bilbo by his armpits and dropped him onto the back of one of the ponies. He looked entirely out of his element. I moved forward towards him. I helped him right himself amongst the baggage, including his own. Had he brought his whole house with him? I sighed. Gandalf was soon by his side. The two were talking like old friends. The dwarves started throwing back money in small leather sacks. Gandalf and I each caught our own and pocketed them. Bilbo smiled and then sneezed and smiled some more. He started looking for something in all of his pockets, the smile slowly fading from his face.

“No! Wait, stop. Stop!” The entire company stopped at Bilbo’s request. “We have to go back! I’ve forgotten my handkerchief.”

There was a collective groan from us all. Bofur tore off the bottom of his shirt and threw it to Bilbo. Even I had to laugh at his look of disgust. I clicked and moved my horse forward. We continued on our way. And our journey began. The fifteen of us off to Erebor. It was quite the tale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer chapters, friends. Most of them will be about this length. Some will be longer, some will be shorter. It kinda depends.


	3. The Pale Orc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the gore. The description tells you when to skip if you don't like blood. It's not that bad, but it's not really just like "oh no I've been cut" either. When you get to the part where the dwarves are wrapped up, press ctrl-f and then type in “I had never noticed” to get to where it’s not as bad, and “how nice” to where it’s not mentioned at all if you have problems with blood. You were warned, I guess? Thanks for reading, either way. This story is so much fun to write.

We had travelled through the most beautiful parts of Middle-earth. It was good to be back in the woods. I felt like I could breath again. Finally. Even just the first day was fantastic. It was the best feeling in the world. I could just close my eyes and take in the scent of leaves and trees and everything nature had to offer and it was wonderful. Sometime as the sun was setting, we reached a cliff edge. Thorin declared that was where we were going to make camp. It was as good a place as any, I supposed. Bombur was in charge of the food, which was a strange thing to do, considering he ate all food in sight.

I walked over to the ponies. Bilbo was there, feeding an apple to his own pony. He jumped when he saw me.

“It's not-” he started.

“It's find, Bilbo. I don't care. In fact, I think it's a nice thing to do for her.” I stroked the mane of my horse.

“If you don't mind me asking, why'd you leave home? You're from Mirkwood, aren't you? Why would you leave somewhere like that?”

I patted my horse thoughtfully. “I wasn't really given much choice. I disobeyed the king. I'm in exile,” I put a finger to my lips, “but that's just between us.”

Bilbo nodded solemnly. I smiled and walked away.

I sat near the fire, next to Fili and Kili. Thorin wasn’t too far off. He was dozing. Gandalf was watching over the ridge at the still setting sun. I wasn’t quite able to sleep, but I probably should have at least tried. It would be a hard journey. I would need all of my strength for this battle, that I knew. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to sleep. 

There was a bloodcurdling shriek. Those awake looked out over the cliff side. Bilbo looked the most scared of us all. He didn’t know what was behind those screams. I looked to Bofur to make sure he was asleep. We didn’t need Bilbo to pass out again, especially at the chance of a night raid by orcs. I instinctively reached for my bow. The smooth wood in my hand helped to calm me. 

“What was that?” Bilbo asked, trying his best to hide his worry but failing miserably.

“Orcs.” Kili responded. 

There was another scream. Thorin’s eyes opened suddenly as Kili said ‘orcs’. He kept his arms crossed across his chest and stayed in his little alcove.

“Orcs?” Bilbo asked.

“Throatcutters. There’ll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them.”Fili nodded.

“They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone’s asleep. Quick and quiet; no screams, just lots of blood.” Kili agreed.

Bilbo looked away in fright. I was afraid he might pass out again. Fili and Kili looked at each other and started to laugh quietly. Thorin stood and looked to his nephews with anger.

“You think that’s funny?” He said sternly. “You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?” 

“We didn’t mean anything by it.” Kili avoided his uncle’s burning gaze.

“No, you didn’t. You know nothing of the world.” 

Thorin walked to the edge of the cliff and looked out over the valley. Balin walked to Fili and Kili, but I kept my eyes on Thorin. He had his arms folded neatly behind him. I had a feeling that I knew what was going through his head.

“Don’t mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs.” Balin said. Bilbo sat down on a rock, looking to Balin expectantly. “After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient Dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had got there first.” 

I could picture the battle. The fallen Dwarves. The rotting corpses. The orcs fighting ruthlessly while the Dwarves struggled to take back their lost kingdom. And where had I been? Off wallowing in self pity, I was certain. I should’ve been there to help them. It was my duty.

“Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs led by the most vile of all their race: Azog, the Defiler. The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the King.” Balin continued. 

Thorin winced at the mention of his grandfather. I stood and walked over to him. I rested my hand on his shoulder. Instead of swatting it away or telling me to leave, he placed his own over it. It felt like the right move. It just felt right. His hand fit nicely over my own. I didn’t even mind the heavy rings that he wore. I just stood next to him. 

“Thrain, Thorin’s father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing, taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us.” Balin continued. Bilbo was watching intently, his eyes wide in wonder. “That is when I saw him: a young Dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc.” 

Again, I could picture Thorin, crouching before his people, watching as orcs decimated them. Thorin, standing up to the Pale Orc to save his people.

“He stood alone against this terrible foe, his armor rent…wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield” Balin’s eyes almost glazed over as he thought back to his story. “Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast, no song, that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived. And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King.” 

I took my hand off of Thorin’s shoulder. He turned away from the view. The entire camp was awake now. They all had the same look of awe. I sensed that I had the same look in my eyes. Very few of the Dwarves here had seen Thorin on the battlefield that day. Thorin looked over them and saw the loyalty. He could feel their want, their need to follow him, even to the ends of the earth. He walked towards them, stopping near the fire for a second before continuing to walk. Balin’s story was done.

“But the pale orc? What happened to him?” Bilbo asked, wanting the ending of the story.

“He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago.” Thorin spat.

The story was done. The Dwarves looked past their King and laid back down. Bilbo seemed calm. I looked to Thorin once more. He was sitting quietly where he had been sleeping before. I myself found a nice place to stay and rest. I closed my eyes and willed myself to fall asleep. I dreamt of a young prince fending the people he cared so much for.

Again, we left early in the morning. It was a common occurrence amongst us. Bilbo grumbled quite a bit for the first few minutes that we were on the road. He was at least finally used to riding the pony.

We made it into another forest around midday. That was about the same time that the rain started. It was a slight drizzle at first but turned into quite the storm. I was thankful for my travelling cloak. All the officers of Thranduil’s armies were given special cloaks that helped to repel rain. It didn’t stop the deluge from occasionally getting into my eyes. It made for a very uncomfortable ride. It didn’t help that Dori kept complaining to Gandalf. Even Gandalf got fed up with it. He snapped at Dori. Dori shut up. It was a rather good system. 

Once we left the forests and started for the hills, the rain finally stopped. We were able to dry off in the winds. I took down my hood. When we stopped next, I would have to redo the braid my hair was in. It was rather tattered at this point in our journey. I looked at the end of the braid resting over my shoulder. It was still smooth. One of the perks to being an elf. 

We found an abandoned house. It looked like it had been burned and crushed, but the wood was still new. I was starting to feel uneasy. It wasn’t my place to protest as we all dismounted. Gandalf looked especially dishevelled. He walked through the broken household, looking around at the ruins. He mumbled something to himself. Gandalf walked back to Thorin.

“I think it would be wiser to move on. Make for the Hidden Valley.” Gandalf said.

The Hidden Valley? Gandalf meant to make for Rivendell? Elrond was there. I looked towards the valley but busied myself with my horse instead. I fiddled with one of the saddlebags. 

“Eril, surely you can see the wisdom in travelling through the Hidden Valley?” Gandalf said to me.

Thorin looked positively murderous. I struggled for an answer. I wanted to go through the Hidden Valley, but I was afraid to face Elrond. He had sent me a letter when I had first been exiled but I was too afraid to face him. No, not afraid. Ashamed. He had been like a brother to my mother and a father to me. What would he say to me? When I didn’t respond to his first letter, he didn’t send me another one. That was answer enough for me. 

“Perhaps not. This is Thorin’s decision, Gandalf.”

He was clearly very upset with my answer. I turned back to my horse again. I took my bow from my back and set it against a rock. Gandalf stormed to his own horse, his robes flowing behind him. Bilbo turned away from his pony to look at Gandalf.

“Where are you going?” Bilbo asked.

“To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense.” Gandalf responded bitterly.

“Who’s that?”

“Myself, Mr. Baggins! I’ve had enough of Dwarves for one day.”

He gave me a sour look that I shied away from. I did not enjoy the gaze of the wizard as he rode off. I sighed as he rode off. Thorin did not seem to care. Not as much as he should have, anyway. Without Gandalf, we were much worse off. It was as simple as that. Not that he helped much as it was. It was more of a precaution. Still, we had to learn to survive without him, did we not? A few days and Gandalf would come back. I looked towards Rivendell. I couldn’t see it from here, but I could feel it. I could feel the energy of the elves resonating off of it. If I closed my eyes, I could hear them celebrating. I think it was just wishful thinking. I wanted it to be real.

I shook my head. I had given up that life. It was over now. I had to forget the times I had spent with my brethren. The times I had spent in Rivendell with my mother before she died. The times in Mirkwood with my father. All of that was behind me. Thorin was gazing at me curiously. He would later admit that he thought I was thinking of leaving them, I had laughed off his statement and assured him that it had not crossed my mind in the way that he thought.

Night came quickly for us. I spoke with the other Dwarves. They were much more comfortable with me now. I had helped on this journey and they could now trust me. Thorin still had his doubts. I could see in whenever he looked at me. He only saw Thranduil, turning away from the mountain. He only saw his people dying in the Battle of Moira with no elves in sight to aid them. How could I blame him.

After all, that was what I saw when I caught a glimpse of my reflection.

I tried to make an effort to get Thorin to trust me. No, trust wasn’t the right word. He trusted me. Become… friendly, I suppose, was more accurate. He trusted me to help him when he was in need, but he was still conscientious of my lineage. I sat near him by the fire, eating the soup that Bombur had made. It wasn’t bad. Perhaps he was so large because of his skill at cooking. Thorin only nodded to acknowledge me. It was a start, I supposed. I was at a loss of words. I could not for the life of me think of something to say to him. It had to be something witty. 

Think of something witty, dammit.

Nothing.

Dammit.

“You look to Rivendell.” Thorin said finally. “Do you share the same thoughts as the wizard of where we should be headed?”

“No.” I responded firmly. “I think it best to stay away from Rivendell.”

“I would not expect an elf to turn away from their own kind.”

“The elves turned from me.” 

Thorin looked at me in awe. He had not heard me speak of the elves before, I do not think. It was the only reaction I could have to them. Why would I wish to be associated with such a race as them? They were an egotistical race that thought only of their own immortality. Most clung to it. This was the truth of the elves. They cared for themselves.

I cared for myself.

It was like something ingrained into our species. Until we had someone else to care for, we only cared for ourselves. When we lost that person, we again became distant and cut off. It was what had happened to Thranduil. When his wife had died, he had only had his son, Legolas, left. He would not risk the life of his kin for anyone. He would not risk becoming closed to all.

Neither would I. It had been long ago. When my mother had died, my father’s spirit went with her. It was then that I swore not to lose myself the same way that he had. I was my mother’s daughter through and through. I inherited her compassion. I could not turn away from those in need. That was my problem and my one good quality. A strange fate indeed.

The silence between us was no longer uncomfortable. That was an improvement, I supposed, from what it used to be. That first night he had met me, Thorin had done his best to avoid speaking with me, even to say which way we were going. I attributed our being late to that. Elves had an amazing sense of direction from our time spent in the forests. It was one of the first things we were taught. The Shire was almost in the exact opposite direction of Erebor. Still, he did not listen. He refused, plain and simple. Stupid hot headed man. 

I finished my meal. Bombur was gathering the almost empty bowls and eating what scraps he could. Bofur had refused to serve him anymore. I looked to the ponies. Weren’t Fili and Kili supposed to be watching them? Where the hell were they? Hadn’t Bilbo gone to give them food?

I walked to the ponies. They were docile. But there was something wrong. There weren’t enough. Two were missing. I looked at the makeshift pen. There were two large footprints in the grass and dirt. I got a sickening feeling in my stomach. I looked around for Fili and Kili. Bilbo wasn’t anywhere either. As I turned to say something to Thorin, I saw Fili and Kili coming back from behind some rocks with their soup in hand. Thorin saw them as well. He stood up and walked to meet them. The two of them were out of breath, but had not spilled a drop of the soup they were carrying. Impressive. They did, however, look worried, afraid, even, and Bilbo was not with them.

“What happened?” Thorin asked, resting his hand on Kili’s shoulder.

“The hobbit! He went to go get our ponies back-” Fili began.

“What happened to the ponies? What’s going on?”

They ignored Thorin and continued talking.

“But they had been taken by three trolls. He needs our help!” Kili finished.

Thorin looked annoyed. He grumbled something about hobbits and grocers and called to the rest of the company. We were preparing to go rescue the hobbit. I grabbed my bow, quickly restringing it. I had a sword, as well. I kept it drawn. I had a very bad feeling about this. We all followed Fili and Kili back through the woods to where the trolls were. It had been a long time since I’d seen a troll. Nasty things. Thorin had made a plan for us to follow, no exceptions, no deviations. Fili and Kili would go first, then once we had Bilbo in a relatively safe position, we would all burst out of the trees.

It wasn’t the worst plan in the world.

I mean, it wasn’t the best.

Still. I would follow it, against my better judgement. This was going to end badly.

I kneeled in the brush, watching carefully. The trolls were holding onto Bilbo. He was upside down and going purple. Kili burst out first, his sword drawn. He looked livid. He cut one of them in the heel, making it howl in pain. Kili jumped back before the troll could pick him up. His eyes turned to Bilbo. I saw him wink. Cheeky bastard.

“Drop him!” Kili said firmly.

“You what?” The second troll said.

“I said, drop him!” 

The troll threw Bilbo at Kili. The two were thrown back in a tangle of limbs. Thorin gave the signal. We all ran out of the bushes. The Dwarves were yelling and screaming, brandishing their weapons. We all began to fight the trolls, hacking, slashing, and cutting at their legs. They howled and yelled in pain. I vaguely saw Bilbo running with something shiny towards the ponies. I ignored him and focused on the troll that was trying to grab me. I should’ve focused on Bilbo. One of the trolls had grabbed him when I wasn’t paying attention. Another took his right arm and leg. We all stopped fighting.

So it wasn’t the plan that made everything go wrong.

I was still right.

“Bilbo!” Kili yelled.

“No!” Thorin exclaimed.

“Lay down your arms!” The second troll said, “Or we’ll rip his off!”

Thorin weighed his options for a second before angrily driving his sword into the ground. The rest of us had no choice but to follow in suit. I dropped my quiver next to Thorin’s sword. Damn. The trolls wrapped up the Dwarves in burlap sacks. When they came across me, they were practically giddy. They’d had elf before, apparently. Or something of the like. I got the special treatment.

They didn’t put me into a sack. They hung me from a tree, upside down. I could feel the blood rushing around my ears. It didn’t make my head heavy, like you’d expect. No, I felt quite light-headed. My vision was getting spotty and it was getting harder to breath. I could see Thorin. He was watching me helplessly.

“Blood like wine, elves have.” One of the trolls kept saying.

He came towards me, brandishing a knife. The same one Bilbo had used to cut the rope of the ponies’ cage. I couldn’t really feel my hands or feet anymore. It was very cold. Or was it hot? I was near the fire, where other Dwarves were being roasted. It was getting a little hard to think. The troll cut one of my arms, my wrist. I looked over. Blood. That was strange. Was blood always red? Did it always move so slowly? Huh. I had never noticed. Bilbo said something. It was hard to hear. Something about cooking. That was nice. He did like to cook, didn’t her? Or did he not? I couldn’t quite remember. It felt right to think that. Well, whatever he had said, it stopped them from cutting my other arm. How nice.

I’m not entirely sure what happened next. I passed out. I only remember bits and pieces after that. Falling out of the tree, hitting the ground. Gandalf standing over me. Bandages on my injured arm. Balin sitting next to me. Bilbo apologising. Fili and Kili moving around cautiously. Someone calling out my name softly. Darkness. There was one period of almost lucid thought. Thorin sitting next to me, leaning forward.

“You can’t stay like this, elf.” he said quietly. “If you die here, I’ll consider it leaving the company and you’ll not be welcomed to Erebor.” He shook his head. “Don’t die here.”

He left and I was again enveloped in darkness. 

When I woke up again, it was Balin by my side. I sat up slowly and held my head. It was spinning. After a moment, I was able to see clearly. Balin handed me a small cup of water. I thanked him.

“How long?” I asked.

“Less than a day. Whatever Gandalf did, it saved your life.” Balin said.

I looked at my arm. There was a long, untidy cut, it was closed but could open at any time.

“Balin, in my bag, there’s a small jar. Can you grab it for me?”

He complied and found it quickly. He put it in my hands. I pulled off the lid to reveal the light green paste. Balin watched curiously as I carefully rubbed the paste into my wound. The wound slowly became a scar in my skin. I closed the jar and set it aside.

“What is that?” Balin asked me.

“It comes from a special leaf that only grows around Thranduil’s kingdom. The fresh paste can save one from death, as long as they aren’t already dead.” I looked at the jar. “This one is quite old. It’s barely enough close this wound here. Still, it will never completely lose its healing capabilities. Of course, I’ll always have this scar now.”

“That’s quite impressive.”

I smiled. “Why did you stay by my side, Balin?”

He looked around carefully, making sure no one was watching. “I saw you, that day, when it all ended. You saved my brother from being crushed.”

“Did I?”

“Thank you, Lady Eril.”

“I’m not a lady anymore, Balin.”

“Nonsense!” He exclaimed. “Maybe you have forgotten it, but you are always a Lady of Mirkwood. That is why you were cast out, yes? For helping us?”

“Don’t tell Thorin. I’d rather him trust me for my actions now, not the ones from the past.”

“Agreed.”

Balin and I shook hands. I put the jar back amongst my things. When I walked back to the others, some of them cheered. The rest looked remorseful. Especially Fili and Kili. I put a hand on each of their shoulders and smiled. It was my way of telling them that all was forgiven. That it had never been their fault in the first place. Bilbo just hugged me around my waist. I hugged him back. Thorin handed me my weapons. I thanked him.

“We need to leave. Are you able to travel?” He asked me.

“I am. Let’s go then.”

It was Gandalf that suggested we look for their cave. Apparently, they had all been so worried they refused to move until I was better. Nice to know that I was appreciated. I could only imagine how angry Thorin had been. He seemed much calmer now. Had he not been calm? There was no way to tell. Not that it mattered.

We walked through the woods. The trolls were all stone. There was a rather large splatter of blood against one of them, along with broken clay on the ground. 

“Mine?” I asked.

“Yes.” Thorin pushed past me. 

Bilbo told me that when Gandalf had thought I might die, Thorin had thrown the jar at one of the stone trolls in anger. I would've thought he'd be celebrating that I was going to finally leave him alone. How curious.

The cave was nearby. It stank of troll. Horrible smell. I held a small bit of cloth over my mouth. Gandalf warned us to watch out for what we touched. I found the hilt of a sword near the cave entrance. I picked it up and wiped off the cobwebs. I recognised it. 

“Aduial.” I said quietly. “Eventide.”

I pulled the blade from its sheath. Even in this cave’s dim light, it was shining. There was an elvish inscription along the length of the blade. Sindarin. Khuzdul runes were on the hilt. The Khuzdul said “here is the blade forged for both elves and Dwarves, in remembrance of their alliance.” The elvish said something similar, “to fight the war of kings and men,”. It was beautiful, with a straight blade that had a notch along the middle for draining blood off of the blade. I could feel the power of the blade in my hand. I knew its history in an instant. Elrond’s blade, in the war against Sauron.

I shivered. Even thinking his name terrified me. There was enough of that. I sheathed the blade and kept it in my hand. Thorin had found two other swords, also covered in cobwebs. Gandalf took one. Thorin unsheathed it and marvelled at the beauty. Should I tell him that it was elves that crafted that blade? How quickly would he throw it away?

“These swords were not made by trolls.” Thorin observed.

Truly wise and observant our King Under the Mountain was. 

“Nor were they made by any smith among men.” Gandalf said as he unsheathed the second blade. “These were forged in Gondolin by the High Elves of the First Age.” Thorin started to throw the blade down. Less than three seconds, then. 

“You could not wish for a finer blade.” I said.

Thorin actually looked repentant. He reluctantly pulled the blade out of the sheath a few inches. He saw the masterful craftsmanship and the way the blade was still sharp, even after all this time. Not even Thorin could deny that this blade would serve him well.

The other Dwarves were burying a chest of gold and gems. A long term deposit, they said. Whatever made them content with themselves. It was no worry of mine. 

“Let’s get out of this foul place. Come on, let’s go. Bofur! Gloin! Nori!” Thorin said, putting the blade on his belt.

We all left the cave. I saw Gandalf hand Bilbo a small sword. Dagger. Thing. It was perfect for him.

“May I?” I asked him.

Bilbo handed over the blade. I swung the blade once or twice. I hoped he never had to use it. I handed the dagger back to him.

I took my old blade from my belt and attached Aduial in its place. This blade truly was a wonder. I could only imagine the wars it had seen, the enemies it had face. Still, my own blade had done well for me through the years. I moved it to the right side. I could dual-wield. I had been taught how in the hopes that we could last longer in a fight against multiple foes. Who knew if it actually worked? I had never seen anyone use it in battle. 

Thorin pulled me from my thoughts. His sword was drawn. He was on edge.

“Something’s coming.”


	4. Radagast the Brown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update?!?!? What is this sorcery? This never happens!!!!1!111!
> 
> Enjoy. :D

“Gandalf-” Bilbo said worriedly.

“Stay together! Hurry now, arm yourselves!” Gandalf called.

Bilbo slowly drew his own dagger. It looked like a sword on him. I took my bow from my back and notched an arrow, prepared to let it fly the second I sensed danger. We ran off into the woods. Bilbo was close behind us, his hand shaking from the weight of his sword. Or maybe it was the thought that he might have to use it. He wasn’t used to these sort of things. I hoped he never would be. 

We came to a small clearing. A man came riding through at full speed on a sled drawn by… rabbits? Yes, those were definitely rabbits. A grown man in brown clothes and with something falling off the side of his head, He was sitting there. He was looking around, yelling about thieves and such. I couldn’t explain it. There was nothing I could do to explain it. I tried. I failed. I stopped.

“Radagast! Radagast the Brown. Ah. What on earth are you doing here?” Gandalf grabbed Radagast’s shoulders and helped him off the sled.

“I was looking for you, Gandalf. Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong.” Radagast said.

“Yes?” 

Radagast opened his mouth to speak, but shut it quickly. He opened it again and closed it again, like he was trying to find something to say, but he just couldn’t. What the hell was going on? What were we supposed to do?

“Oh, just give me a minute. Um, oh, I had a thought, and now I’ve lost it. It was, it was right there, on the tip of my tongue.” He curled up his tongue, a looked surprised. “Oh, it’s not a thought at all; it’s a silly old...” Gandalf pulled something off of Radagast’s tongue, “stick insect!”

There was literally a stick insect in his mouth. That was… new. I didn’t know how to respond to it. I don’t think anyone could respond to that. Even Gandalf looked flustered. The two wizards walked off a few paces to speak privately. I took the time to pull Aduial out of it’s sheath. Thorin walked over.

“A dwarven hilt.” He said.

“There was a time when Dwarves and elves worked together. There are seven blades like this one, forged by elves and Dwarves. It was their way of signifying the alliance shared between them.” I explained. “This one is Aduial, or Eventide. It was wielded in the war against the owner of the one ring.”

“And how would you know that?”

“A friend of mine taught me about all of the ancient blades.”

I handed Thorin the blade. He swung it once or twice. “Good balance.”

“It should have. Dwarves made the hilt perfectly to hold up any blade well.”

Thorin gave the blade back to me. I put it back in its sheath and looked at the two wizards. They were whispering about something. Gandalf wiped off his pipe with his beard and handed it to Radagast. That… that wasn’t any better. If anything, that was much, much worse, was it not? I shook my head and turned away again. Why was I questioning wizards? There was no point.

Thorin and I talked more about weapons. It was something we had in common. It was nice to talk to him without his expression of disappointment, disgust, or anger. It was what I had been aiming for for a long time. He saw me, at least, as an equal in this moment. He took my arm and ran a thumb across the scar. The scarred flesh felt almost nothing. He didn’t say anything. He just stood up and walked to talk with his other companions. It felt strange without him next to me now. It was an empty space. A hole that couldn’t be filled. 

I shook my head. No. No no. No no no no. That was not happening. That was not a thought that was even passing through mind for a second. No. I would not let it go through my head because it was a ridiculous thought that held no ground. No no no no. No. No.

I stood up. The thought was gone. Good. There was howl in the distance. Wargs. Bilbo looked again scared. The Warg that howled jumped out from the bush. Bofur was knocked over. Thorin easily killed it with Orcrist. Another came out. I dispatched it with a single arrow through the eye. Thorin nodded to my kill.

“Warg Scouts! Which means an Orc pack is not far behind.” Thorin yelled.

“Orc pack?” Bilbo asked. 

“Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?” Gandalf rounded on Thorin.

“No one.” Thorin insisted.

“Who did you tell?” 

“No one, I swear! What in Durin’s name is going on?” 

“You are being hunted.”

“We have to get out of here.” Dwalin said.

Really? I hadn’t noticed.

“We can’t! We have no ponies; they bolted.” Ori said.

Fantastic.

“I’ll draw them off.” Radagast said.

“These are Gundabad Wargs; they will outrun you.” Gandalf warned.

“These are Rhosgobel Rabbits; I’d like to see them try.” 

So with that, we were all off in our separate ways. Radagast made a lot of noise. We could hear the orcs following him. I let out a silent prayer to all the gods I could think of that he would be safe as we ran. We were following Gandalf through the woods and down the valley. I knew instantly where we were headed. I was terrified but I said nothing. It was time that I earned that redemption, I think.

We ran through the field, ever vigilant for Wargs and Orcs. We knew the danger was ever present and growing nearer, even with Radagast running in the opposite direction. There were Wargs not too far off from where we were. The company stopped by a grouping of rocks. It was deathly silent. Ori was the first to run out. Thorin tried to call him back. I threw one hand over his mouth to silence him and used the other to drag him out with me. The company moved from rock grouping to rock grouping. I took my hands off of Thorin and focused on my running.

“Where are you leading us?” Thorin asked Gandalf.

He didn’t answer. We moved beneath a particularly large grouping of rocks with an overhang large enough to hide us all. With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I recognised how close we were to the entrance. Gandalf gave me a warning glance. I said nothing but kept my bow drawn and an arrow notched. Kili was following in suit. I could hear the Warg moving above us. Looking up, I could see him. Kili and I nodded. With a simple gesture, I indicated he should shoot the Warg. I would kill the rider. The plan was set. Thorin nodded to us. We moved from cover and let loose our arrows. My own lodged right between his eyes. Kili’s shot landed in the Warg’s shoulder.

The beast let out a mighty cry that echoed throughout the valley. I cursed in elvish as the Dwarves killed the Warg. 

“Move. Run!” Gandalf ordered, practically throwing us out of cover. 

We were so close to the entrance. A few more steps and yes! We were there. I helped Gandalf push aside a rock and reveal the passageway. 

After that was done, I came back from the cave. The Dwarves were surrounded by orcs. I started to let arrows fly at the orcs. I killed all those that I managed to hit. Wargs were fast. My arrows were faster. Thorin actually looked relieved to see me. Kili was helping me shoot the Orcs off of their wolfish mounts. Gandalf called to the Dwarves and Thorin called for Kili and me to leave. Kili was the first to go. I backed up. Apparently not fast enough, as Thorin grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into the cave.

“Do you have a death wish?!” He asked me.

“Quite possibly, but we have no time to discuss this, we must keep moving. Come.” I responded.

I took the lead, completely prepared to walk to my real doom. I was saved for another few moments by an elvish horn. The sound of fighting began and ended quickly. An orc fell into the cave we were in. Thorin pulled an arrow out of its head.

“Elves.” He said in disgust.

“Come with me. There’s a passage we can follow.” I said, walking away from the entrance.

Thorin looked at me suspiciously but followed as the rest of his brethren did. I ran a hand along the cave walls. How many times as an elfling had I come here in hopes of adventure? I knew this passage even now. It wasn’t long before we reached the end. 

Rivendell. Home of my mother.

It had been far too long since I had last been here. Far too long since I had seen what little family I had left. Would I be welcome here? Or had Thranduil told of my decisions? He was ever so prideful. I was probably stricken from the records already. Gandalf put his hand on my shoulder. I smiled appreciatively. It was a gesture not lost on me.

“The Valley of Imraldis. In the Common Tongue, it’s known by a another name.” Gandalf smiled.

“Rivendell.” Bilbo said in wonderment.

“Here lies the last Homely House east of the sea.” 

“This was your plan all along, to seek refuge with our enemy.” Thorin spat.

I had had about enough of this. 

“You have no enemies here, Thorin Oakenshield. The only illwill to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself!” I exclaimed.

“You think the Elves will give our quest their blessing? They will try to stop us.” 

“Of course they will. But we have questions that need to be answered. If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tact and respect and no small degree of charm. Which is why you will leave the talking to me and Eril.”

We walked across a bridge that led us to Rivendell. I was nervous. The company hadn’t noticed. I kept one hand on the hilt of Aduial as a precaution. I must’ve looked very much like a Dwarf in that regard. I looked around at the elves strolling about. They paid no attention. I looked at Bilbo. At least one person looked like he was enjoying himself. The rest of the company looked uneasy. A dark-haired elf came down a flight of steps.

“Lindir?” I said quietly.

“Eril!” He came up to me and shook my hand.

We spoke in elvish to each other, something I had not done in far too long. It was nice to speak in my native tongue with an old friend. Gandalf was the next to greet Lindir. I heard Elrond’s name in the exchange. I looked up. He wasn’t here.

There was another elvish horn, like the one from before. The company turned around. When they saw the rapidly approaching horsemen, they panicked and got into a battle formation, with their weapons pointed out. I let out a sigh as the elves circled around them. They really weren’t helping the situation at all. They did eventually stop. Elrond came forward. Gandalf bowed. They spoke a little in elvish and english, talking of Orcs. Elrond dismounted.

“Strange for Orcs to come so close to our borders. Something, or someone, has drawn them near.” He said, holding up and Orc sword. He handed it to Lindir.

“Ah, that may have been us.” Gandalf confessed.

Thorin stepped forward. I stayed behind the dwarven pack. I wasn’t ready to face Elrond yet. Elrond looked at Thorin with instant recognition.

“Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain.” He greeted.

“I do not believe we have met.” Thorin said with mock respect.

Either Elrond did not notice or he was choosing to ignore it. I think the latter.

“You have your grandfather’s bearing. I knew Thror when he ruled under the Mountain.” 

“Indeed; he made no mention of you.” 

The one thing he had to do was shut up and he couldn’t even do that. Still, it was a little amusing to watch him wait for some kind of reaction from Elrond. When he got none, his face fell slightly. The smirk faded, I think. Yes, it was the smirk. 

Elrond saw me through the Dwarves. He said my name softly, in disbelief. I stepped forward. He held out his arms and smiled.

“ _Henig _,” He said, taking a few steps towards me, “ _Gi nathlam hí bar._ ”__

I couldn’t help it. I came forward and embraced him. Elrond smiled at me again. I backed away. I ignored the look of blatant betrayal from Thorin and told him of our needs. He nodded.

“ _Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor. Boe i annam vann a nethail vin _.” He said, surprisingly to the only people in his presence who could not understand him__

“What is he saying? Does he offer us insult?” Gloin accused.

I grumbled and sighed heavily. This was the last time I was going to be working with Dwarves. Ever. “No, master Gloin, he is offering you food.”

The Dwarves discussed it amongst themselves. I could tell that most of them had already decided and were only talking for the sake of looking like they were indecisive. Dwarves. I was done with them. It was decided here and now. I would leave this company at the end of the journey and never help another Dwarf so long as I lived.

“Ah well, in that case, lead on.” Gloin nodded.

The Dwarves were taken in one direction, but Elrond wished to speak with me for a moment. Gandalf nodded and headed off to dinner with the others. Thori looked back at me. When our eyes met, he turned away quickly. It didn’t matter. I had seen it in his eyes that he thought I was leaving. Maybe I was. Elrond took me to the rooms. He opened one and invited me inside.

“If you want it, this is your room.” Elrond said,

“I didn’t think you’d want me to stay here. After what I did.” I said sheepishly.

“You did what Thranduil should have done. The alliances that we forged in the past must stay intact. Your actions may have saved it.” Elrond looked out over the balcony. “Change for dinner. Lindir will take you to the hall when you’re finished.”

“Thank you, Elrond.”

He smiled and bowed before leaving. I walked to the wardrobe. There were four dresses there. I grumbled. I hadn’t missed this. I looked back to the door. I was being offered a home. A place to stay. Hadn’t I been asking for that? I looked at the dresses again. I picked a light green one that showed off my collarbone. The sleeves were tight up to the elbow but spread out the closer they got to my hands. It was rather form-fitting. My waist was outlined with a white sash. I grumbled more about the dress and left my weapons, except for Aduial, in the rooms.

I walked out. Lindir took my arm and we walked to the dining hall together. He led me to my chair, next to Elrond and Bilbo. I ignored Thorin sitting across from me. He had an angry expression on his face. I focused on my plate. Elf food. My god. I had missed this. The food, the music, the people. Well, I hadn’t pictured the Dwarves being here, but it was strange for me to imagine them not to be there. I had been with them for far too long. Either way, they didn’t look too pleased with the vegetables they were being served. Dori was trying to get Ori to eat a piece of lettuce. I had to cover up a laugh when Oin stuffed his hearing trumpet with a napkin. Even Thorin was smirking. We looked at each other and stopped. We didn’t say a word the entire meal. I was a little saddened to see the progress we had made regressing so quickly.

“You look beautiful, by the way.” Bilbo said. “I know none of them will tell you that.”

“Thank you, Bilbo.” I smiled.

It was Gandalf who suggested we show the swords to Elrond. He took the three swords one by one, examining the blades carefully.

“This is Orcrist, the Goblin Cleaver. A famous blade, forged by the High Elves of the West, my kin. May it serve you well.” Elrond handed Orcrist back to Thorin. I was surprised to see him take it with a nod of acceptance. “And this is Glamdring, the Foehammer, sword of the King of Gondolin. These swords were made for the goblin wars of the First Age.” Gandalf smiled, like what he already knew had been confirmed. “Aduial.” Elrond said fondly, running a hand across the blade. “This blade was made to represent the alliance forged between elves and Dwarves. Gifted to me by my father, lost many years ago. It is my honour to give it to you, Eril. May it serve you as well as it once served me. How did you come by these?”

“We found them in a troll hoard on the Great East Road, shortly before we were ambushed by orcs.” Gandalf responded.

“And what were you doing on the Great East Road?”

No one answered. Thorin looked perturbed.

~-~-~-~-~-

After dinner, I left to change my outfit. I hated dresses, but I knew that they were the proper attire for things like that dinner. I found my old clothes on the bed. All the holes had been repaired and they were clean. My weapons were on the bed. My bow had been polished and my arrows replenished. I left my old sword in the room and attached Aduial to my belt. I looked around the room. Would it really be so bad to be here again? Rivendell was a lot like Mirkwood, really. I’d be around my own kind. Still, I thought to the Dwarves. I had my decisions laid out in front of me. I was stuck in two worlds, my feet on the banks of the river. To choose one side would be to surely lose the other. To not choose at all would be to die. 

I turned around. I was surprised to see Thorin standing in the doorway. He looked still perturbed. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked politely.

“I see you’re enjoying yourself..” He said.

“I will admit, a part of me missed being around my own kind.”

“Then you will be staying with them.”

“That doesn’t sound like a question.”

He looked angry. I would have thought that he’d be happy I might be leaving. I honestly hadn’t decided yet. Still, he had assumed that he knew what I’d choose. How dare her. The pure arrogance of Dwarves. Of Royalty! It was enough to make me want to throw something at him. I nearly drew my sword out of anger. He drove me insane.

“It is what all elves do. They think of their own and not of the consequences.”

“Is that truly what you think? Even after all the time that we have spent together?” I scoffed. “Months of putting up with you Dwarves, perhaps I should stay.”

“Perhaps you should.”

“I think you should leave, Thorin.”

He didn’t say anything else. Dwarves! I grabbed the vase next to the bed and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a satisfying crack and broke in pieces on the ground. The flowers fell slowly and the water started to trickle down the stone wall. Thorin was so insufferable. It would be best if I stayed amongst my own kind where I was welcome. 

~-~-~-~-~-

It was Thorin, Bilbo, Balin, Gandalf, and I that left the table with Elrond that night. Thorin and I wouldn’t even look at each other. Gandalf noticed something was wrong, I could tell, but he said nothing. I didn’t care. That wasn’t why we were here. 

“Our business is no concern of elves.” Thorin said, crossing his arms. 

“For goodness sake, Thorin, show him the map.” Gandalf said.

“It is the legacy of my people; it is mine to protect, as are its secrets.”

“Save me from the stubbornness of Dwarves. Your pride will be your downfall. You stand here in the presence of one of the few in Middleearth who can readthat map. Show it to Lord Elrond.” 

I sighed. It would take a miracle for him to agree. I could see it even now. It was how he was. He was trying to weigh his options. For once, his pride left him and he began to hand the map to Elrond. He brushed Balin to the side when he tried to stop Thorin. Elrond took the map carefully.

“Erebor. What is your interest in this map?” He asked, turning to Thorin.

“It’s mainly academic. As you know, this sort of artifact sometimes contains hidden text. You still read Ancient Dwarvish, do you not?” Gandalf answered.

Moonlight hit the map. Elrond looked at it curiously. “Cirth Ithil.”

“Moon runes. Of course. An easy thing to miss.” 

“Well in this case, that is true; moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written.” 

“Can you read them?” Thorin asked.

Elrond led us to an area outside on the side of a cliff. There were waterfalls all around. The moon was again covered by clouds. There was a large crystalline table at the end that we all walked to. Elrond set the map down carefully.

“These runes were written on a Midsummer’s Eve by the light of a crescent moon nearly two hundred years ago. It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell. Fate is with you, Thorin Oakenshield; the same moon shines upon us tonight.”

The clouds floated away. Rays of moonlight spread across the crystalline table. Light flowed through the map. Ancient runes that had once been lost were again visible. Elrond translated them outloud, running his hand across the ancient parchment.

“Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole.” 

“Durin’s Day?” Bilbo asked.

“It is the start of the Dwarves’ new year, when the last moon of autumn and the first sun of winter appear in the sky together.” Gandalf explained.

“This is ill news. Summer is passing. Durin’s Day will soon be upon us.” Thorin stroked his beard.

Yes, it was all well and good when the elves could tell him something he needed, but after that he would hate them all again. Of course.Dwarves.

“We still have time.” Balin said optimistically. 

“Time? For what?” Bilbo asked.

“To find the entrance. We have to be standing at exactly the right spot at exactly the right time. Then, and only then, can the door be opened.” 

Elrond looked rather… annoyed by this new revelation. Particularly with me for not telling him, I imagined. “So this is your purpose, to enter the Mountain.”

“What of it?” 

“There are some who would not deem it wise.”

Thorin took back the map gruffly. He folded it carefully and stuffed it back into his pack.

“Who do you mean?” Gandalf asked.

“You are not the only guardian to stand watch over Middleearth.”

I knew he was talking of the White Council. I was not supposed to, but I did. I did not ask why it was being convened. I did not want to know. I had my own things to be thinking about. I looked from Elrond to Thorin as they walked in separate directions. I would have to decide, and soon. There was no way that the Dwarves would stay here overnight. They would be far to uncomfortable on the soft beds amongst those they did not know.

I turned my own direction instead, back to my chambers. My place was not here, and it was not with them. It was with myself, wherever I would end up. Why it had taken me so many years to understand that I would never know. I knew where I would go. I had never been one to stay still for too long. It was simply something that bored me. That was perhaps why I had stayed by Thranduil for as long as I had. Even under his leadership, I had been promised an adventure of some kind, be it a war or a diplomatic mission. That was my choice.

I walked through the halls carefully. I knew them well, even now. I was able to slip past undetected, even with my weapons. I thought of where the Dwarves would be. Yes, it would make sense they would be near one of the old towers. I made my way there. I heard them before anything else. I sighed. They were planning their escape far too loudly. I think they had had too much elven wine. I shook my head and went up the steps. 

They all looked surprised. Well, except for Thorin. He looked angry. Not that I could expect any less from him. 

“So, you’re planning on leaving.” I said simply, leaning against a pillar. “I suggest being a little more discreet about your plans in the future, you never know who may be listening to you.”

“Are you planning on turning us over to your elf master?” Thorin spat.

“I am not.”

“Then why have you come here? To confirm what we already know? That you are leaving the company?”

“Your arrogance fails you, Thorin. I have no intention of staying in Rivendell. To keep the peace, I would never be allowed to leave the walls. That is not a life I fancy living. I came to show you the way out.”

He looked repentant. I used that word far too often to describe him. I led them through, making sure that they knew to be silent. Bilbo seemed reluctant to leave Gandalf behind. Still, he left with us. There simply was no other choice. I took them to the secret exit. I held open the door while they left, watching for any guards. Once the last Dwarf was through, I finally left myself leave. We carefully made our way through the twisting tunnel until we were finally on the other side, safe and out of Rivendell. I looked back only once to wonder if they had noticed yet. My choice was made and this was the end of my association with the elves, I was almost certain of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elvish Translations:
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _Henig Gi nathlam hí bar _\-- My child, I welcome you home.__
> 
>  _Nartho i noer, toltho i viruvor. Boe i annam vann a nethail vin_ \-- light the fires, bring forth the wine. We must feed our guests.


	5. Damn Wizard Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently working on the end of Chapter 9 and the beginning of Chapter 10 of what will probably be a 20 chapter work. Awesome.

Thorin and I did not speak for a long time, unless it was to argue. We made an effort to avoid each other’s company. He was angry with me for not telling him we were going to Rivendell and I was angry with him because he was arrogant and a Dwarf. It suited me just fine. We didn’t need to talk to each other- there were thirteen other people that could hold a conversation, even if it wasn’t that intelligent. I think it was Bilbo that kept the peace between us, as shaky as it was. Whenever he saw Thorin or I reaching for our weapons during a particularly bad argument, he would step forward and engage with one of us. The other would storm off. I shot arrows at trees. Thorin would practice fighting with someone else.

“What happened between you and Thorin?” Bilbo asked me one day while we were replenishing our water supply. “Ever since Rivendell, the two of you have done nothing but fight.”

“I think Rivendell reminded him of what I am.” I said.

“I don't understand why he doesn't trust you. You've done nothing but price yourself since we left.”

“Dwarves are stubborn. It's very hard to change their minds about anything, even the colour of the sky.”

Bilbo laughed. He and I were fast friends, that had been certain. We had more in common than I had originally thought. Plus, he was the only one that didn't constantly annoy me.

It was nice to be with them, as frustrating as they were. I did not ever doubt my decision. 

We travelled over beautiful hills and meadows before we reached the mountains. We never waited for Gandalf like we had planned. I could only imagine the wizard’s frustrations with us. Eventually, we did reach the base of the Misty Mountains. The trail started out wide and safe but as we moved on, it slowly got more narrow and treacherous. I kept a constant eye out for the mythical creatures that resided here. I had been in Middleearth long enough to know that it was more than likely that it was not as much a myth as we were all hoping.   
Balin was our leader for this leg of the journey. He knew these trails far better than any of us, that was certain. Well, perhaps excluding Gandalf, but the wizard was nowhere to be seen. He was probably off smoking something somewhere. Wizards and their “medicinal” herbs. I had inhaled some of the second hand smoke, and there was nothing medicinal about them. I was off my head for hours. Oin still held it over me, how I had almost shot him with an arrow.

Almost being the key word.

He was still alive, wasn’t he?

Damn wizard smoke.

There was a sheer drop in front of us now. Storm clouds had long since settled and the ran was really coming down on us now. Lightning split the sky and thunder roared. We wouldn’t last long out here. We kept pressing each other back against the cliff face, making sure none of us would fall off to our deaths. Fili and Kili were on either side of me. I could hear the stone cracking beneath our feet.

“Hold on!” Thorin shouted.

The stone beneath Bilbo’s feet gave way. He started to fall into the seemingly endless cavern. I just barely managed to pull him back in time. He put his hand over his chest, trying to catch his breath.

“Thanks.” He breathed.

“What would I do without my hobbit?” I said with a smirk that was highly inappropriate given the situation.

“We must find shelter!” Thorin yelled.

“You think?!” I yelled back.

Now was not the time for me to be acting in such a way. I couldn’t help it. Even with our lives in danger, he managed to annoy me more than anything else. What? I got sarcastic in near death existences.

“Watch out!” Dwalin ducked.

A massive boulder was hurtling through the air. It hit the mountain side above us. The rocks fell around us. We pulled each other closer to the side. Goddamn this myths and the truth that was resting behind them. This was absolutely why I didn’t like Middleearth. Damn stone giants.

“This is no thunderstorm; it’s a thunder battle! Look!” Balin pointed up.

Well, would you look at that? I was right. Again. Who would’ve guessed? It's almost as if I know what i talk about. How absurd. I had to stop this. It was getting out of hand. Honestly, I was starting to sound like dwarves. Or Gandalf. Possibly both.

The stone giant reared up from a nearby mountain and ripped off a boulder from the top of the mountain.

“Well bless me, the legends are true. Giants; Stone Giants!” Bofur exclaimed.

“Take cover: you’ll fall!” I pulled Thorin closer to me to avoid a particularly large rock that was falling.

Neither of us said anything.

“What’s happening?” Kili asked.

Another boulder fell through the air. A second giant was hit in the head. We all yelled and braced for impact. Of course, we shouldn’t have hoped for any luck or blessings. The rock beneath our feet began to give way from the impact of the rocks hitting the ground around us. The rock started to split up the middle. It was split in two and we were separated. I was on the same side as Thorin. Fili and Kili reached for each other to no avail.

The giants had stopped throwing rocks and were now fighting with their fists. There just had to be a third one, didn’t there? They couldn’t just stop it at two. That would be too easy on us. It didn’t help that we were standing on it’s legs. It was immediately hit by another giant. The group on the left leg, my group, was able to jump to another cliff. I almost fell backwards into the abyss. Thorin grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me forward. My shirt tore, but I was grateful to be alive. I think living was more important than fashion at the moment.

The third giant was hit in the face, erm, head, with a boulder. The others were still on it’s right leg. They were stuck leaning against the back of the giant’s leg. I watched in horror as it started to fall forward. The giant’s leg hit the cliff. They were surely crushed. No! This wasn’t happening!

“No! No! Kili!” Thorin yelled out.

We ran to where the leg had hit the cliff. They were there. All of them. They were safe.

“We’re all right! We’re alive!” Balin breathed.

I let out a heavy sigh of relief. 

“Where’s Bilbo? Where’s the Hobbit?” Bofur asked. 

That was a very good question.

“There!” Ori pointed.

“Get him!”

Bilbo was hanging onto the edge of the cliff by his fingertips. Ori dove onto the ground and tried to grab Bilbo, but as Bilbo reached up, he lost his grip and fell down a few feet. Not even I would be able to reach him. I thought about my bow. Would it be strong enough to lift the hobbit up? I didn’t have too much time to react. Thorin acted first. He swung down the cliff next to Bilbo and boosted him up. The rocks were too slick. Thorin lost his grip the same way that Bilbo had and he started to fall.

“Thorin!” I yelled.

It all happened in slow motion. I cast my bow to the side and dove forward. I caught Thorin’s hand just as he started to fall. I used as much strength as I could to pull him to safety. I landed heavily on my back. Thorin landed on top of me. I didn’t really care. He was safe. I let out a sigh of relief that resounded through the others. Thorin had landed with his hands on either side of my head. His hair cascaded around us, hiding our faces from view. It was strange being like this with him. I didn’t find it nearly as uncomfortable as I thought I would have. 

“Thank you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“It would be unfortunate if the company lost its fearless leader.” I joked. “Would you mind getting off? You sword is poking my leg.”

“Of course.”

Thorin rolled over. We looked at each other and laughed. The rest of the company looked completely shocked. I couldn’t exactly blame them. The last few weeks had been the two of us fighting or not speaking. This was certainly a welcome change. We could finally trust each other. Thorin helped me to my feet. He handed me my bow. Thorin took hold of my right forearm with his left hand. I gripped his bracer. There was a silent understanding between us. It was not like the old flimsy forced friendship it had once been.We nodded in acknowledgement of this. It was the beginning of something new for both of us.

The mood only lasted so long. When he saw the hobbit, his expression turned dark. 

“I thought we’d lost our burglar.” Dwalin breathed heavily with a smile.

“He’s been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us. Dwalin!” Thorin spat.

Perhaps I was wrong about that understanding.

Bilbo did look lost. I patted his shoulder in what I hoped was a reassuring manner. I tried to convey that we did in fact need him here, despite what Thorin said. He was a tool sometimes.

We went off and found a cave that would be suitable. There was sand on the ground. Rock dust. Nobody cared. It would be easy enough to get off our clothes eventually.

“It looks safe enough.” Dwalin said. 

“Search to the back; caves in mountains are seldom unoccupied.” Thorin responded.

“There’s nothing here.” Dwalin confirmed.

Thorin stopped Gloin from making a fire. Bofur was to have first watch. I found it hard to sleep. When I did, it was in short bursts. My own watch was a relief. When I was relieved by Gloin, I found a nice corner and tried once again to sleep, finding more success than I had earlier.

It was Thorin’s watch when I woke up again. He was holding onto Orcrist tightly. I moved carefully around the sleeping Dwarves to sit near Thorin. He looked up at me before turning back to look at the landscape.

“Thank you for today.” He said without looking to me again.

“Don’t mention it. I know how much it pains you.” I joked.

“Yes…” he turned to me, “I would not have expected an elf to rush to my aid.”

“Perhaps not all elves are as bad as you have thought.”

“Perhaps not.” He agreed with a small smile.

Since that first night, Thorin and I had been growing closer, slowly but surely. There had been an identifiable change when I had chosen the company over Elrond, despite the fighting. That had been more out of frustration from his lack of faith in me. It wasn't because we didn't respect each other. I don’t think Thorin even started to trust me before then. There had been moments between us that felt like trust. They had been scattered throughout the journey.

“You should get some sleep.” He said quietly.

“Can’t. I must still be too excited from earlier.” I shrugged.

“I know what you mean.”

I rested my head on Thorin’s shoulder. I’m not entirely sure what possessed me to do such a thing. It just felt right somehow. Thorin’s body tensed for a moment but quickly relaxed. It was like it was just the two of us. I looked up at Thorin. He really did look handsome in this light, much more like the young prince I had caught glimpses of in Thranduil’s visits to the palace of Erebor and less like the lost King of a lost people. 

His eyes met mine. I wasn’t quite able to identify what emotion was in them. It seemed like a mix off several at once. Whatever was going through his mind, it was enough to entice him to bring his lips against my own. It was a rough kiss made awkward because of how we were positioned. Thorin growled softly as he moved one of his hands to my waist. He pulled me onto his lap. I gripped his hair and pulled on the dark locks softly. The sensation made him moan. I took the opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth. We instantly began fighting for dominance.

I pulled away first. I stood and stepped away from Thorin. We were both struggling to catch our breath. I walked out of the cave and into the fresh air. The rain had stopped at least. That was a plus. I took in deep breaths of the air. It helped me to clear my head. I had no idea what had come over me. I couldn’t deny that there had been a spark between the two of us. I pressed a finger to my bottom lip. There was still a ghost of the kiss there. I shivered. My mind started to wander to what would have happened if we had been alone.

~-~-~-~-~-

I did eventually go back into the caves. Bofur was again on watch. The shifts were short. The Dwarves were tired and were lasting barely thirty minute watches. I was having an even harder time sleeping. I kept thinking about Thorin’s lips against mine.

No. No, stop it. That was enough of that.

Well, it wasn’t getting any better. I saw it every time I closed my eyes. It was a little like hell. Now that I wanted to sleep I couldn’t sleep because I was plagued with images of Thorin. I eventually got the message- I wasn’t going to be sleeping tonight. I resigned myself to being a second watch of sorts. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see Bilbo moving amongst the Dwarves. Bofur stood up to stop him. They started speaking in hushed whispers so as not to wake the others. I felt like I was somehow intruding.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Bofur asked.

“Back to Rivendell.” Bilbo answered.

“No, no, you can’t turn back now, you’re part of the Company. You’re one of us.” 

He was, wasn’t he? I felt he was. Perhaps that was simply because he was so like me. We weren’t Dwarves. We weren’t really welcome here. We got along well. I wasn’t sure what I would do if Bilbo left the company. I thought about offering to lead him back. I was worried about him.

“I’m not though, am I? Thorin said I should never have come, and he was right. I’m not a Took, I’m a Baggins, I don’t know what I was thinking. I should never have run out my door.” 

“You’re homesick; I understand.” Bofur nodded.

Me too.

“No, you don’t, you don’t understand! None of you do you’re Dwarves. You used to to this life, to living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere.” I couldn’t see Bofur’s face, but I could imagine it. “I am sorry, I didn’t...”

“No, you’re right. We don’t belong anywhere. I wish you all the luck in the world. I really do.” 

Thorin and I met eyes. For once, we didn’t look away. We both knew about what it was like not to belong anywhere. Was there really a use to denying it anymore? Bilbo turned to start leaving, but Bofur stopped him.

“What’s that?” he asked.

I saw the expression on Thorin’s face. I looked at my own blade. I could see the bright blue light coming out from the sheath. I unsheathed it. The light filled up the cave. Orcs. Or goblins. Or both. I could hear something clicking underneath us. Cracks formed in the sand on the floor of the cave. 

“Wake up. Wake up!” Thorin yelled.

They woke up, yes, but we had no time to react. I was on my feet and gripping onto a rock but the others fell through a chute. I saw them fall down into the darkness. I looked down. Just darkness. The trapdoor was still open. I cursed in elvish. I couldn’t leave them down there alone now, could I? I let go and fell. I used one of my arrows to slow down my fall. The tip dug into the dirt and muck. I fell into a wooden cage. The door above me closed. I looked at the arrow. Elvish arrows were resilient. It was still in almost perfect shape.

I made my way down the wooden bridges and pathways. I could hear something almost like music coming from a ways away. I could get over there, I was certain, as long as I left Aduial in her sheath. I did keep an arrow notched. I only had to shoot one goblin near the beginning of my descent. I was able to follow the sounds of celebration to where my friends were being held.

Their weapons were being handed out amongst the goblins. I wasn’t focused on them. No, I was more focused on the giant goblin with the, well, I guess you could call it a beard. It was more of a sack of skin that was covered in warts. He was the largest and the ugliest of them all. The Great Goblin was sitting on a throne with a mace topped with a skull. I lined up my bow. I had a clear shot. No. Thorin was in front of it now. Damn him. He was thwarting my attempts to save him. The Great Goblin jumped off the throne, crushing several of his “subjects”. He approached the company. I tensed.

“Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?” he asked. His voice was as ugly as his face.

“Dwarves, Your Malevolence.” a goblin said.

“Dwarves?” 

“We found them on the front porch.” 

“Well, don’t just stand there; search them! Every crack, every crevice.” 

I watched as the goblins searched the Dwarves for anything and everything. Even Oin’s hearing trumpet was taken from him.

“What are you doing in these parts? Speak!” 

No one responded. I smirked. Courageous to the end. It wouldn’t be the end if I had anything to say about it.

“Well then, if they will not talk, we’ll make them squawk! Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone Breaker! Start with the youngest.” 

They grabbed Ori. Wasn't Kili the youngest? I raised my bow again. No. It wasn’t time to let it fly yet.

“Wait.” Thorin the noble stepped forward. Damn him.

“Well, well, well, look who it is. Thorin son of Thrain, son of Thror; King under the Mountain.” The Great Goblin bowed down to Thorin with a mocking expression and a twisted grin. “Oh, but I’m forgetting, you don’t have a mountain. And you’re not a king. Which makes you nobody, really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A Pale Orc astride a White Warg.” 

Thorin looked up in a mixture of surprise, disbelief, and a little bit of fear. It was hard to tell from where I was.

“Azog the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago.” 

“So you think his defiling days are done, do you?” The Great Goblin laughed. “Send word to the Pale Orc; tell him I have found his prize.”

That was enough of this. I prepared to finally let an arrow fly. I was stopped by a withered hand. I looked to my side. It was Gandalf. He held a finger to his lips. He had me wait. Waiting. Waiting. No this was bad and wrong. I had to go and save them. I had to save Thorin. Speaking of which, they were preparing to behead it. Finally, Gandalf let me fire my arrow. I aimed for the eye of the one who was holding the sword to Thorin’s head. My aim was true. The goblins exclaimed in surprise. Thorin looked to me. I winked. Gandalf was gone. Probably to go make an entrance. Whatever. I ran towards them. It was time to see how Aduial held up in battle.

I found Orcrist on the floor. I tossed it to Thorin. 

There was a massive explosion of light. I barely managed to stay upright myself. The others were knocked over. Gandalf. I bet it was that damn wizard smoke. Where did he get off on this? Throwing us all to the ground? Wizards. The Dwarves watched Gandalf in awe. Dwarves! People! How could they all be so idiotic? Could they not see this was not the time to stare at a strange man in a pointy hat?

“Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!” I yelled.

They got the message. They all stood and gathered their weapons and started to fight the goblins. The battle broke out. The Great Goblin yelled out the names of the weapons Gandalf and I were holding. I supposed it was good for there to be at least one person pointing out the obvious. Or Goblin. Thing. It? They? I had no idea.

We all started to follow Gandalf through the halls. He led us through the tunnels and the bridges, all while we fought the goblins attacked us from all sides. But where was Bilbo? I hadn’t seen him at all. Where was he? I knew he had fallen down with them. Where had he gone off to? No, no no no. This was not good.

The goblins that we knocked off of the path broke the ones below them into the darkness. Goblins snarled and tried to reach us with ropes. I walked along the edge of the path and started to cut the ropes of the path, the rest of the Dwarves following in suit. The goblins on the path were entangled in the ropes. Kili pushed a ladder onto the oncoming goblins. We used the ladder as a bridge to a missing area of the path. Dwalin broke the ladder to prevent the goblins from following us.

“Quickly!” Gandalf yelled.

We cut a section of the path to create a pendulum of sorts. It would in theory swing us over to the other path.

“Jump!” Thorin yelled.

Several of us managed to jump to the other path. I didn’t along with a few of the others. The path went back to where it started. Goblins jumped on. We worked to stop them from attacking us. The rest of us managed to jump to the new path the second time around. I used Aduial to cut one of the remaining ropes before it was out of reach. The goblins fell off.

We continued fighting our way out. Thorin and I were side by side, killing goblins that got to close. It was nice to have someone that was watching my back. 

Soon, we approached a bridge between two walls of the cavern. As we tried to cross it, the Great Goblin suddenly broke through from underneath the bridge and pulled himself up. Had he just been waiting there for us? Why? How? When? So many unanswered questions, so little time for them to be answered. Hundreds of goblins followed him. Impossible odds. Well and truly. I liked it that way.

“You thought you could escape me?” The Great Goblin swung his mace twice at Gandalf, who almost fell backwards. “What are you going to do now, wizard?” Gandalf poked the Great Goblin in the eye with his staff.Gandalf steped forward and sliced the Great Goblin in the belly; the Great Goblin fell to his knees, clutching his belly. “That’ll do it.” 

With one final slash to the Great Goblin’s neck, Gandalf struck him down. The weight from the Great Goblin caused the bridge to start shaking. Of course the section we were standing on was starting to fall. The bridge slid down at a terrific speed. We clung on to whatever we could find. The bridge caught on the sides of the cave wall and slowed down. It landed at the base of the cavern, covering all of us in timber and other members of the company. I pulled myself from the wreckage with Gandal. I looked back at them. It was a little difficult not to laugh at their situation. Especially when the corpse of the Great Goblin fell on top of them.

I’m a horrible person.

Oh well.

The peace lasted but moments. More goblins were coming towards us in swarms. There was no way we could win this. Not in this space.

“Only one thing will save us: daylight! Come on! Here, on your feet!” Gandalf started to run. 

I helped the Dwarves to their feet and we ran, following Gandalf. He led us to the one place the goblins wouldn’t follow. We ran out of the caves. I heard him counting as the Dwarves came out.

“Where’s Bilbo? Where is our Hobbit? Where is our hobbit?!” He asked worriedly. 

“Curse the halfling! Now he’s lost?!” Dwalin exclaimed.

“I thought he was with Dori!” Gloin said.

“Don’t blame me!” Dori shouted.

“Well, where did you last see him?” Gandalf asked.

“I think I saw him slip away, when they first collared us.” Nori said.

“What happened exactly? Tell me!” 

“I’ll tell you what happened. Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He’s thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since first he stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing our Hobbit again. He is long gone.” Thorin said angrily.

“Enough of this, Thorin!” I said, walking to him. “Why would he want to stay where he believes he is not wanted? You have done nothing but insult him at every turn! There’s a chance that Bilbo has…” I couldn’t say it. We were all thinking it. I knew we were.

“But I’m not.” Bilbo stepped out from behind a tree.

I walked forward and hugged him. He hugged me back. Gandalf was laughing and I was happy to see that Thorin looked a little sorry.

“Bilbo Baggins! I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life!” Gandalf said, still smiling.

Bilbo strode towards us. 

“Bilbo, we’d given you up!” Kili said, clapping Bilbo on the back.

“How on earth did you get past the Goblins?!” Fili asked

“Well, what does it matter? He’s back!” Gandalf said with a slightly perturbed tone.

“It matters! I want to know: why did you come back?” Thorin asked.

“Look, I know you doubt me, I know you always have. And you’re right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books. And my armchair. And my garden. See, that’s where I belong. That’s home. And that’s why I came back, cause you don’t have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.” Bilbo responded.

Bilbo was so different from when he first came here. He had changed so much. I think for the better.


	6. Eagles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day I'm going mad, I am. I never update this frequently. What have you done to me, friends? I promise that eventually, it won't even be once a day. But I will not stop writing! Too many good fan fics (not that mine is one of those) are never finished by the writers and we are always left wondering. I won't do that with this one. Probably. Definitely. I have a whole plot line set up. Based around a plot line that's already canon. Because this a character insert. Why are you still reading this get to the story.

I heard Wargs in the distance.

“Out of the frying pan…” Thorin began.

“And into the fire.” Gandalf nodded. “Run. RUN!”

We didn’t need to be told twi- erm, three times. We ran as fast as we could. Thorin took my hand when he thought that I was lagging behind. I think it was for other reasons. Wargs were right on our tails. The foremost Warg jumped at Bilbo. I let go of Thorin and drove an arrow through it’s eye, using my other hand to kill the rider. Bilbo and I continued to run. Another jumped in front of us. Bilbo held out his sword. The Warg charged and impaled itself on it. Bilbo and I both looked on in surprise. It was really surprising.

I looked around. We were trapped in a large outcropping with trees around the edge. There was no way out. At least we had a choice of death: Warg or fall. I was personally voting for the fall.

“Up into the trees, all of you! Come on, climb! Bilbo, climb!” Gandalf yelled.

I ran as fast as I could. Bilbo was still trying to pull his sword out of that Warg’s head. I cursed and turned back. I grabbed the hilt and pulled it out easily. I handed it to Bilbo and pushed him forward. I had to make sure that he got forward. I had to make sure that he got to the trees. A Warg lunged at me, biting down onto my leg. I yelled out in pain and swung with my sword. I heard Thorin yell something and saw him come out of the trees to help me. He pulled me back. The others helped to pull me up. Once I was resting on a branch with Thorin, I looked at my leg. It was bad. Much more than my healing leaves would be able to help. I took off a portion of my tunic and ripped it down the middle. Thorin helped me wrap my leg. It wasn't going to hold very well.

“They’re coming!” he yelled.

More Warg riders came forward. They circled the trees. Gandalf was whispering to his staff. I hoped it would help us, and soon. Something fluttered away. I watched as a white Warg came forward. I looked up and saw him. The Pale Orc. Azog the Defiler.

“Azog?!” Thorin’s voice was filled with pain.

Azog spoke in the dark language, one I was scared that I knew so well. 

“Do you smell it? The scent of fear? I remember your father reeked of it, Thorin son of Thrain.”

“It cannot be.” Thorin whispered.

I gripped his arm. Thrain had been taken by Azog.

“That one is mine.” Azog said to the other orcs. “Kill the others!”

The Wargs leapt forward and tried to climb the trees. They jumped as high as they could, scrabbling at the trunks, braking branches with their jaws. The trees started to shake. My leg jolted with pain every time. I bit my lip to keep from crying out in pain.

"Drink their blood!”

The tree I was on, along with Bilbo and several other Dwarves, started to fall, being uprooted by the weight of the Wargs. It caused a domino effect, hitting another tree that became uprooted. We jumped from this tree to the next one. I tried my best, but my leg was useless. It was getting harder for me to jump as the trees began to fall. I knew by the time we got to the end, I wouldn’t be able to jump away. Thorin grabbed the collar of my shirt and threw me across. Gandalf helped me up. I was hanging onto a branch with my arms. I could feel the blood seeping through my makeshift bandage. 

I had never had much luck with wounds on this trip, had I?

Azog laughed. Gandalf used his staff to set a pinecone on fire. The Wargs retreated, their fear of fire greater than their fear of Azog. Azog was startled and angry by our resistance. Gandalf gave the pinecones to the Dwarves that were able to throw pinecones. The area around the trees started to light on fire. Wargs backed away. One of them even caught on fire itself. Our cheers of victory were very short lived as even this tree started to give way. The tree came to a stop, sticking straight out away from the edge of the cliff. I held on for dear life. I felt a hand grab my arm. It was Thorin, making sure that I didn’t fall. I looked at him gratefully. Gandalf did his best to make sure that Ori and Dori didn’t fall to their demise.

Thorin held onto me. I could see the anger and hate in his eyes.

“Thorin, no.” I said softly.

He let go. I tried to hold on, but I started to fall. Thorin pulled himself up and drew his sword. He walked down the leaning trunk. I could feel tears running down my face. I wasn’t sure if they were from the pain in my leg or because of what I knew was going to happen here and now. 

Thorin ran at Azog. Azog greeted his attack with open arms and a smug grin. Thorin growled, his sword raised high and an oaken shield on his arm. Azog crouched and roared as his Warg lunged at Thorin. As Thorin swung his sword, the Warg hit him with its forepaw. He was knocked to the ground. Thorin got back to his feet, panting. Azog charged him again. Azog swung his mace and hit Thorin in the face.

“No!” I yelled. I tried to push myself onto the tree. I had to help him. I had to.

I managed to get onto the tree trunk. Thorin looked at me. He shook his head. I took one step and fell again. Bilbo stood up next. The White Warg clamped its jaws around Thorin, who yelled in pain. I reached out to him. This was not happening. I wasn’t watching this. It was a nightmare. I was going to wake up back in that sandy cave. No no no. Thorin hit the Warg with the pommel of his sword. The White Warg sent Thorin several feet away to a rock nearby. Thorin landed heavily. Orcrist fell out of his hand. His eyes were closed. Please, god, don’t be dead. No. Don’t be dead. I saw the unsteady rise and fall of his chest. He was alive.

“Bring me the Dwarf’s head.” Azog ordered.

One of the Warg riders jumped off his mount and approached Thorin. Bilbo pulled out his sword, which was glowing a dim blue colour. The orc prepared to decapitate Thorin. As he brought his sword down, Bilbo used himself to block the attack. They started to fight. Bilbo managed to kill the orc. Thorin started to fall unconscious again. I forced myself back to my feet. I limped off the tree and took my bow. I was able to keep any orcs from attacking me as I went to Thorin. I fell next to him as he went unconscious. Bilbo stood in front of us. He waved his sword wildly. This was the end. I knew it. Might as well take some of the orcs with me.

Wargs started to approach us. Fili, Kili, and Dwalin managed to get off the tree and started fighting the Dwarves with us. Bilbo leaped forward and wounded a Warg. I rested my forehead against Thorin’s, whispering to him in a mixture of English, Khuzdul, and Elvish. I pushed his hair out of his face. It was one of those things that you just did to comfort yourself in the end. I heard screeches. They weren’t the screeches of orcs or goblins. It was like a really, really big bird. Eagles. One came to Thorin in I. It took Thorin in one claw and waited patiently for me to climb onto his back. I grabbed Orcrist and complied.

I held on to the giant bird’s neck, careful not to pull out his feathers. I whispered a thank you to them. We travelled over many landscapes. We went over the meadows and fields as we continued on our way. I felt so tired. The rhythmic beating of its wings were lulling me to sleep. I don’t know how many hours we were flying, but it was dawn by the time we were dropped off.

I slid off the back and kneeled next to Thorin. I dropped Orcrist. Gandalf kneeled next to me and whispered something into Thorin’s ear, placing his hand on Thorin’s face. His eyes fluttered open and he gasped for air. He sat up slowly. I couldn’t help myself. I hugged him. 

“I’m all right, _amrâlimê _,” he whispered to me.__

“Don’t do that again, _khuzd allâkhul _, or I’ll kill you myself.” I promised.__

“Noted.” He chuckled. “Ow.” He turned to Gandalf and I let him go. “The halfling?”

“It’s all right. Bilbo is here. He’s quiet safe.” Gandalf responded.

The other Dwarves were surrounding us. I helped him to his feet. He shrugged me off and approached Bilbo. I prepared myself for another argument.

“You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed! Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild and that you had no place amongst us?” Bilbo looked frightened. “I’ve never been so wrong in all my life! I am sorry I doubted you.” 

“No, I would have doubted me too. I’m not a hero or a warrior...not even a burglar.” Bilbo chuckled.

Thorin grabbed Bilbo and embraced him deeply. We all cheered. I had to sit back down because of my leg. Gandalf pulled the bandages off my leg. He turned his head to the side.

“Well, that’s not too bad.” Was he kidding? My leg looked like it had gone through a meat grinder. “Do you still have those herbs?” I nodded and handed the jar to him. He took the paste and laid it over my wounds. He whispered something. The paste glowed with a green sheen, like it did when it was first made. The wounds closed. They weren't completely healed and still hurt like hell. 

Gandalf helped me back to my feet. The others were all staring at something in the distance. I limped over to them.

“Is that what I think it is?” Bilbo asked.

The Lonely Mountain. It was so beautiful, even at this distance. 

“Erebor—The Lonely Mountain. The last of the great Dwarf kingdoms of Middleearth.” Gandalf said.

“Our home.” Thorin said fondly.

A bird flew over heard, towards the mountain. My mind turned to what Elrond had said about the thrush and the door.

“A raven! The birds are returning to the mountain.” Oin said.

“That, my dear Oin, is a thrush.” Gandalf said.

“But we’ll take it as a sign a good omen.” Thorin smiled.

“You’re right. I do believe the worst is behind us.” Bilbo.

Now why’d he have to go and say that? Now we were all doomed. Still, it was nice. We were halfway through the journey now. Thorin took my hand. I looked down and smiled. It wasn’t all bad, was it? 

I couldn’t believe the fear that I had felt when I thought that Thorin was going to die. It was unlike anything I had felt before. Looking at him now as he stared at his home, I was so happy that he was alive. That I was here with him. The journey was coming to an end soon. I think I had found my place again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations for you lovelies.
> 
> Khuzdul:
> 
> _amrâlimê _\-- love of me/mine__  
>  _khuzd allâkhul_ \-- stupid dwarf (as a term of endearment)
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> _  
> _(the next chapter will have smut shhhhhhh)__  
>   
> 


	7. **An Interesting Development Indeed**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this be a smut chapter, friends. Because why not? Yeah. Why not. Let's do this.

I watched Balin run an old wooden comb through his hair. He did it every night before he went to sleep, even after watch. It was methodical. It was ritualistic. He wasn’t the only one to do it, but he was the only one who did it this much. Other than Thorin. Not that I had been watching them, really. It was just coincidence, surely. 

I decided that rather than sitting and waiting to find the answer, I would ask Balin for an answer. He would answer my question without the same hesitation as Thorin would. He loved to talk about his people and their customs.

“Balin, why do you comb your hair every night?” I asked. “We’re on a journey. Surely personal upkeep is not the most important thing.”

“Aye, I would tend to agree with you,” Balin said with a nod, “but it is out of custom. Dwarves see their hair as very important aspects of culture. It can mean many things, from our wedding days to our funerals. Even in courtship. When a young dwarf tends to the hair of a lady, it means he intends to court her.”

“Really?” 

Wasn’t that an interesting development. Thorin had more than once offered in the last few weeks. I chuckled to myself. Yes, an interesting development indeed.

~-~-~-~-~-

Thorin and I had left to scout ahead. It wasn't really necessary, but Thorin had insisted. We were stopped at an old abandoned cottage. I was talking the time to pull the tangles out of my hair. Thorin was watching me carefully,a thoughtful expression on his face. He moved behind me and started to untangle my hair for me without saying a word.

I relaxed my body. He was able to deftly part my hair and take out the tangles. He rebraided it. When he was done, he kissed the top of my head lightly.

“Balin told me what it means when a dwarf offers to help with hair.”

“Did he now?” Thorin started to gently massage my scalp.

“Hmm.” I closed my eyes and leaned into him. “He said it was how a dwarf showed they were courting a lady.”

“Indeed.”

“Is there something you wish to tell me, _my lord _?”__

__He grumbled softly under his breath. I was smiling, my eyes half closed. Thorin pressed his lips to my neck, gently biting. I let out a silent moan and I felt Thorin smile against my neck. His beard tickled. He stopped massaging my scalp and moved his hands to my waist. He pulled me closer to his chest. I turned around so I was straddling him._ _

__“Are you sure, _my king _?” I said, my lips ghosting across his neck.___ _

____“What do you wish for me to say?”_ _ _ _

____“You know exactly what I want you to say.” I kissed his earlobe._ _ _ _

____He muttered a curse in khuzdul. “Eril…”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, my liege?”_ _ _ _

____Thorin stood and picked up like a bride in one swift, unexpected motion. He carried me to the broken bed and dropped me into the mattress. He crawled over me, his hands on either side of me._ _ _ _

____“I want you, Eril.” He whispered into my ear. “I have for longer than I'd like to admit.”_ _ _ _

____“Well then for Mahal’s sake, do something about it.” I growled._ _ _ _

____He kissed me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. It was a phenomenal feeling, really. This was the first time we had been alone since that night in the cave. The passing glances and little touches were getting harder to hide from the others. We needed this. He moved his knee to rest between my legs. His tongue begged for entrance and with a moan, I let him. He was skilled, I had to give him that. I kicked off my boots._ _ _ _

____Clothes were aggravating._ _ _ _

____I reached my hand under his shirt and spread my fingers out across his chest. He was tugging gently at my shirt._ _ _ _

____“It’s not a bloody game of tug of war, Thorin.” I groaned in frustration, making him smile wickedly. I didn’t like that smile. That was a dangerous smile._ _ _ _

____He unlaced my tunic slowly, pulling at the laces holding the top together so gently. He pulled the collar away, revealing the tops of my breasts. He pulled the soft fabric over me. Thorin kissed me gently whilst unlacing my trousers. He pulled them down with my panties. I shivered as his fingers ran across the Warg bite. He was sitting on my pelvis. He was staring at me. I wasn’t bashful. I never had been. It was simply the way that elves were in intimate situation like this, but there was something else about it. There were no recorded instances of this kind of relationship between an elf and a dwarf, at least not any that I knew of._ _ _ _

____“You’re gorgeous.” He breathed, tracing the scar on my wrist._ _ _ _

____Thorin kissed up from my collarbone to my neck, along my jawbone, and eventually made his way back to my lips. I removed his arm bracers. He threw them to the side. He lifted up his tunic, revealing the bare skin of his stomach. Well, apparently he had been hiding quite the set of muscles. His body was built bulkier than that of elves. He pulled off his boots and unlaced the front of his trousers, leaving him in his pants. He was going so slowly it had to be classified as torture._ _ _ _

____Finally, he removed his breeches, revealing his manhood._ _ _ _

____My eyes widened and I took in a deep breath. Thorin was certainly larger than any elf I had seen. Not that I had expected anything less from him._ _ _ _

____I grabbed his neck and pulled him down. His warm cock was making contact with my thigh. I growled. He waited until I was relaxed. He gently ran his hands down my sides, making me shiver. He kneaded one of my breasts and took my other nipple in his mouth. I took a sharp breath, arching my back slightly. He was so talented…_ _ _ _

____Thorin was sufficiently making me question the amount of control that I wanted to have in this situation._ _ _ _

____Thorin moved one of his hands between my legs. He smirked when he found I was already wet. He plunged two fingers inside of my, curling them in a sort of “L” shape. He quickly found the spot, that perfect spot that made my breath hitch in my throat and could have pushed me over the edge if he would just let me. I knew Thorin well enough to know he wouldn’t do that. He enjoyed the lengthy hunt. I closed my eyes and whimpered in pleasure._ _ _ _

____In and out, in and out. It was intoxicating. He kissed me again. The feeling of his beard against my skin was heightened. Well, I wasn’t going to let him have all the fun._ _ _ _

____I traced my hand down and grabbed his manhood. He broke off the kiss in shock. I took the time to torture him the way he tortured me. Of course, it tortured me as well. The need to feel all of him was growing deeper and stronger, but I wanted to see if I could break his wall of careful control._ _ _ _

____“Eril…” He growled._ _ _ _

____“Yes, _my lord _?” I tightened my grip.___ _ _ _

______He kissed me hard out of frustration. I was successful._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You were warned, elf.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What are you- ah!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Or not._ _ _ _ _ _

______Thorin crawled down and pushed my legs away from each other. He kissed my inner thighs and then! His tongue was drawing slow circles across my clit. My breathing quickened. I gripped the sheets of the old bed. The heat in my stomach was growing_ _ _ _ _ _

______“All you have to do is beg for me, elf.” He said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Always the king, then.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Always.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______As determined as I was to not beg, I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. I tried. He pressed his thumb against my clit. I arched my back._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Just ask, and it shall be given. You must be aching by now…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Dammit, fine, Thorin. You win.” I pulled him down so I could whisper in his ear. “Make me come, my king.” I hesitated for a moment. “Make love to me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He smiled. Thorin positioned himself in front of my entrance. He cupped my face and stroked it gently with his thumb. I looked up at him. It was strange. His eyes were bright and vibrant. I could see the age behind them and the pain and all of what he wanted. He entered slowly. I gasped loudly. It was like an electrical surge going through my body. I arched my back as he moved in inch by inch, slowly to make sure that I adjusted properly._ _ _ _ _ _

______He waited once he was fully sheathed. He caught his breath. Then, he went faster and faster, the pace picking up almost immediately. There was never a chance of this going slowly. I shouted out. That was a perk of being out here. He slammed deep inside of me. It was a mix of pain and pleasure and it was perfect and great._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thorin!” I yelled out, dragging my nails across his back. There were sure to be angry red marks there._ _ _ _ _ _

______He lifted my hips up so he could move faster and deeper and harder. I was close, dammit, and now he was moving slowly, grinding against me. He wanted me to feel all of him. He ran his thumb across my clit in circular motions, heightening my pleasure that much more. My heart started to beat faster as the friction built and the heat got almost too much to bear. I needed relief._ _ _ _ _ _

______The orgasm came washing over me. It was like an ocean wave. The feeling of my walls closed around him made Thorin’s thrusts erratic. A few seconds later, he came as well. He fell next to me on the bed. He put an arm around my waist and pulled me next to him. He kissed my cheek._ _ _ _ _ _

______We didn’t have long to bask and catch our breath. We would be needing to get back before we were missed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If I had known it would be like that, I would have taken you long ago.” Thorin said once we were dressed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can’t say that same of you, though I suppose I may have thought of it.” I smiled. Thorin threw a boot at me. I ducked._ _ _ _ _ _

______He shook his head. We walked through the woods to help get rid of the smell and get some more information about where we were. I think that was the original intent. Though that was highly unlikely._ _ _ _ _ _


	8. The Desolation of Smaug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should be asleep right now I have to go to work. WHY DID I TAKE A RETAIL JOB A WEEK BEFORE BLACK FRIDAY I HAVE A DEATH WISH  
> Also I hate HTML none of the italics are working I'm starting to get pissed man I mean AJKGDSBGKJSLA

It had been months since the day Thorin almost died. Weeks since we had met in the old cottage.

Bilbo had come into his own. He was accepting his role as the burglar, finally. It had taken him long enough, but it was good to have him in a good mood about the tasks we gave him. He was really our scout at this point. It was good practice for when he met Smaug. I was terrified to send him there, but I knew it had to be done. 

I kept a watchful eye out. I was almost always holding onto my bow or Aduial. The orcs were still chasing us, especially now that we had escaped them once. Azog would be furious. It had been fun for the first hour to picture it, but then it got real. If he ever saw us again, he wouldn’t just kill us. He would torture us and do whatever he could to make sure that it lasted as long as possible. I looked at Thorin. He was strong. Hopefully stronger than Azog the Defiler. I would be devastated if something happened to him. Hell, I had been given a glimpse of what it would be like, and it had nearly destroyed me after less than a day. It had been months now. 

No. I couldn’t imagine that. It was too dark. It was too bleak. I let out a shaky breath and kept a watchful eye out for Bilbo. He was tracking the orc pack. He came down from the rocks with ease. We waited expectantly for his report.

“How close are they?” Thorin asked, his arms crossed.

“Too close. A couple of leagues, no more, but that is not the worst of it.” Bilbo breathed.

“Have the Wargs picked up our scent?” Dwalin asked.

“Not yet, but they will; we have another problem.”

“Did they see you? They saw you!” Gandalf exclaimed.

“No, that's not it.”

“What did I tell you? Quiet as a mouse. Excellent burglar material.”

Now was not the time to be appreciative of Bilbo’s skills as a burglar, as great as they unexpectedly were. He had had something important to tell us and amidst all of this praise he might forget the imminent danger and we could all die in our sleep. Murdered because we were too happy for our little hobbit.

Okay, I was proud of him too. Still. More important things. Life, for instance. I was rather fond of living.

“Will you listen- Will you just listen? I'm trying to tell you there is something else out there.”

Sure, now they looked worried. Not when he brought it up before. No, it was now that he was getting flustered. Dwarves. I shook my head, gripping the bridge of my nose.

“What form did it take? Like a bear?” Gandalf asked.

Oddly specific of him.

“Ye..." Bilbo paused and looked curiously at Gandalf. "Y- yes. But bigger, much bigger.”

“You knew about this beast?” Bofur asked. Typical of Gandalf to walk away without a proper response. Foolish old man. He was probably going off to smoke. “I say we double back.”

“And be run down by a pack of orcs.” Thorin reminded him.

“There is a house, it’s not far from here, where we might take refuge.” Gandalf told us.

“Whose house? Are they friend or foe?” 

“Neither. He will help us, or he will kill us.”

Our usual odds, then. That was good to know. 

“What choice do we have?”

There was a roar behind us. There was no need to put it to a vote. We were going to make a run for the house, as quick as we could. We had to cross many fields and plains. I could hear the orcs running around us, their Wargs growling and snarling. My leg started to burn at the memory. It had healed to a medium sized scar, but it still hurt to think about. I shook my head. I couldn’t focus on that now. If I thought about my injured leg, then I would start limping again, I knew. I was hoping that we might get some peace. I had to stop hoping for things. We always seemed to get the opposite. 

“Come on!” Gandalf yelled.

What did he think we were doing, stopping to smell the bloody flowers? 

We reached the woods quickly, Azog and his orcs following us. I was used to running through the trees. I was able to expertly move through them. The dwarves were significantly worse off. They were used to the mountains. I pushed forward, occasionally going back to help a dwarf get farther ahead. I kept looking behind me, expecting to see a Warg behind me. They sounded so close. Maybe that was just my imagination. 

An ear-splitting roar sounded nearby. I skidded to a halt in the leaves. I did not like the sound of that at all. It made my whole body shake. Thorin stood next to me. We ended up with our backs against each other and our weapons drawn. We weren’t taking any chances.

“This way, quickly!” Gandalf yelled.

We started to run once again. All except for Bombur. He was staring at something in shock. Bofur grabbed him by the beard and pulled him along. We continued to run, two things now chasing us. It was like our luck was deteriorating. The company reached the other side of the forest. I could see the house that Gandalf had been talking about. It was surrounded by a hedge in the middle of a plain.We ran as fast as we could, Bombur somehow surpassing us all. There was a gate in the centre of the hedges. Of course it was stuck and _of course _Gandalf wasn’t helping.__

__I cursed under my breath and pushed on the gate with all of my strength. It finally opened. We all ran through the gate. I stayed just outside, making sure that all the others got in. I entered with Gandalf. We went to the front door of the house. Also locked. Who the hell would break in here anyway? Bombur pushed on the door. It wouldn’t budge. A massive bear broke through the forest. Well, _huilion _. That was new.___ _

____I pushed through the dwarves and instantly saw what all of them had missed. The bloody exterior bolt was down. One knock with the hilt of a sword and the rusted lock would break. I wanted to shout at them all, but that would have to wait until later. I hit it with Aduial and opened the bolt.The company rushed inside. The bear was still coming. I slammed myself against the door, but it’s gaping maw was already through. The dwarves gathered around me and we all put our full weight against the door. I looked to Gandalf. He was… _he was amused by this _?! The door closed. Now that they knew there was, in fact, a bolt, they dropped it down. I slid down the door.___ _ _ _

______“What is that?” Ori asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That...is our host.” Gandalf said._ _____

I was going to kill that herb smoking wizard.

“ _Amin delotha lle _.” I breathed. “ _Gi utinu en lokirim _.”____

__He was still smiling._  
_

__________“His name is Beorn, and he is a skin-changer.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“And you never thought to mention this before? For instance, a perfect time would have been when Bilbo brought up the giant bear.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He ignored me. I couldn’t blame him. I had been pretty nasty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sometimes he’s a huge black bear; sometimes he’s a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with. However, he is not overfond of dwarves.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________How does he feel about elves?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ori looked out the door. “He’s leaving!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Come away from there! It’s not natural, none of it. It’s obvious: he’s under some dark spell.” Dori pulled Ori away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Yes, because going to recover large amounts of gold stored in a palace in a mountain guarded by a fire breathing dragon was completely natural. Totally. Nothing wrong there with that at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Don’t be a fool; he’s under no enchantment but his own. Alright now, get some sleep, all of you. You’ll be safe here tonight.” Gandalf smiled. “I hope.” he said when he thought no one was listening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I felt so reassured that I wasn’t going to be eaten by a bear or murdered by orcs in my sleep now. Thanks, Gandalf._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I sighed. The others were picking out places to sleep. I found a nice corner far away from doors and windows. I took off my quiver and bow, setting them to the side. I kept Aduial close by, just in case anyone tried to kill me or we had to run. I leaned back and closed my eyes, allowing myself to fall asleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I woke up in the middle of the night. I had to get out. It was far too noisy and stuffy here with all these dwarves. It was different sleeping outside. I opened the door. I could see the bear in the distance. He was standing watch. That was reassuring. Not even the orcs would come after us with a giant wolf bear thing watching over us. It was a better option than what Gandalf had offered. I leaned against the house’s wall and slowly slid down to sit in the dirt. Fresh air. Just what I needed. I heard the door open again. I was expecting Gandalf or Bilbo, but was pleasantly surprised to see Thorin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He sat next to me. ._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m not sure how to feel about that beast over there.” He said, crossing his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“There are worse guardians.” I reminded him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He smiled. I leaned against his shoulder. It felt comfortable to be there. To be here with him. He kissed the top of my head. I could have fallen asleep there. It was a perfect moment. For the time being, there was no enemy. No life threatening danger. Just us, together. There were no obligations, no one to tell us we were wrong. And there would be people telling us we were wrong for whatever this was. I couldn’t blame them. My whole life, I had been taught that dwarves were lesser. Yet I threw away everything for them. Maybe I was just wired wrong. I looked at Thorin. He had started smoking from a pipe and was looking out. I didn’t care, either way. I was happy for the first time in a long time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I leaned forward and kissed Thorin gently. I could taste the smoke on his tongue. I didn’t care. It was nice. Thorin ran his hand through my hair. He was fascinated with my hair. Granted, dwarves really liked hair in general._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I got to my feet. The bear had left. Perhaps it was time to go back inside. I took Thorin’s hand to help him stand and we walked back inside together. We went back to my corner. We fell asleep next to each other. It was nice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When I woke up for the second time, it was morning. Thorin was gone back next to the dwarves. When had that happened? I stood._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________That._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________That was a really tall man._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I mean really tall. Scarily tall. Gandalf hadn’t been lying when he said it was a great strong man. I definitely wasn’t terrified now. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. I decided not to question it as I sat down at the table. If I went around questioning everything that went on during this adventure, I would drive myself insane. Literally. Rhosgobel rabbits my arse… had to have used magic to get those rabbits to outrun Wargs, honestly…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The dwarves were awake as well. Beorn, I learned was the name of the bear-man. He had set his table for the fifteen of us. Gandalf was standing next to the fireplace. Beorn poured me a pitcher of milk. I thanked him and took a sip. It was fresh. How nice. He must have made it himself. I watched as a rather large bee made it’s way over to Bilbo. Was there something in my drink? No. That was just a very large bee for a very large man. I wasn’t judging. I think._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The bee woke up Bilbo. He woke with a start and stared as the bee flew away. He shook off the experience and made his way to the table._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“So you are the one they call Oakenshield. Tell me, why is Azog the Defiler hunting you?” Beorn said to Thorin, still going around and pouring dwarves milk._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You know of Azog? How?” Thorin asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Good question._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“My people were the first to live in the mountains, before the orcs came down from the north. The Defiler killed most of my family, but some he enslaved.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I could see the manacles on his wrist. I could make out small white scars on his skin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Not for work, you understand, but for sport. Caging skin-changers and torturing them seemed to amuse him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“There are others like you?” Bilbo asked, suddenly very interested in the wolf bear man. Skin-changer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Same thing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Once, there were many.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“And now?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I had a sickening feeling that I knew the answer to that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Now, there is only one.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I hated being right sometimes. It was silent._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You need to reach the mountain before the last days of autumn?" Beorn changed the subject._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Before Durin’s Day falls, yes.” Gandalf nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You are running out of time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Which is why we must go through Mirkwood.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Wait. What? He had definitely said Mirkwood. And the damned wizard was definitely avoiding my gaze now. I felt Thorin’s hand on my knee. That wasn’t really reassuring to me. Just a reminder of why I wasn’t allowed back there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“A darkness lies upon that forest. Fell things creep beneath those trees. There is an alliance between the orcs of Moria and the Necromancer in Dol Guldur. I would not venture there except in great need.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“The Elven road would be safe.” I said reluctantly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Safe? The Wood-Elves of Mirkwood are not like their kin. They’re less wise and more dangerous.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Agreed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“But it matters not.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What do you mean?” Thorin asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“These lands are crawling with orcs. Their numbers are growing, and you are on foot. You will never reach the forest alive.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Thorin looked genuinely shocked by this. I was too. When I had been here, Thranduil never would have allowed orcs even this close to his kingdom. He had let it go quite a bit. It must be truly awful in the forests. Beorn stood to his full terrifying height._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I don’t like dwarves. They’re greedy and blind, blind to the lives of those they deem lesser than their own.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________True._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Beorn picked up a small mouse that had been scurrying across the table. It looked even smaller in his hands. Thorin got to his feet as well, his arms crossed in what he thought was a kingly pose. I thought he looked more like an angry shop owner._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“But orcs I hate more. What do you need?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“A way to the forest that will allow us to beat the orcs.” Thorin said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I have just the thing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Beorn exited. I was the first to follow him. He was staring at the ponies grazing in his lawn._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“There are saddles in the barn as well as two horses for the wizard and elf.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Thank you, Beorn.” I said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He nodded and walked back to the house. We found the saddles he had mentioned and the horses. Gandalf found a white one he liked. There was a light gray mare that suited me. I patted her mane gently before I got the saddle and reins. The dwarves carried out the tacks to the ponies in the yard. Thorin had one for Bilbo as well. I easily mounted the horse. She nickered at me. I gently coaxed her into moving forward, taking a few steps so she could get used to my motions._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Beorn was still at his house, watching out for danger. There was none, not yet at least. I knew it was only a matter of time before they arrived and we’s be running for our lives again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Go now, while you have the light. The hunters are not far behind.” Beorn said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________We rode rapidly. There was no easy conversation. No songs. Just hard riding across the land in hopes of outrunning the orcs. I could see Mirkwood growing closer. With it, the hole in my chest growing. It was a pit that had been there for ages, ever since I had left. It was instinct. I knew that if I went back something bad would happen. Just what, I had no idea. It was a horrible feeling. I shuddered on my horse. She huffed. I whispered an apology. I had to get myself together or I would be thrown. That would be unfortunate and painful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________We started to slow when we approached a looming forest. This was not my home. No, this place was dark and lonely and bad. Evil. But there was the archway. The entrance to the path. It looked older. It was overrun with vines and trees and fallen leaves. I dismounted. I took a step. I stopped. This was the closest I had been in years. I used to come pacing with the forest just on the horizon. I wished I was there now. I tried to take another step and stopped myself. I couldn’t move._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“The Elven Gate.” Gandalf said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Here lies your path through Mirkwood.” I agreed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“No sign of the orcs. We have luck on our side.” Dwalin as he dismounted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Set the ponies loose. Let them return to their master.” Gandalf said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I took my bags off of my horse and hesitated to let her go. Bilbo was the first to approach the forest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“This forest feels...sick, as if a disease lies upon it.” He said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Because it is. The forest of Mirkwood used to be much more beautiful. The trees shone and were brightly coloured. You could walk through and just get lost in the beauty. Now,” I looked at my former home, “it’s a shadow of that. Is there no way around?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Not unless we go two hundred miles north, or twice that distance south.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Damn distances and Dwarven doors. Damn Durin’s day. Damn it all. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. Thorin unsaddled my horse for me. She ran off. Thorin seemed to understand that there was something wrong with me. He kept his distance. That was for the best. I wasn’t sure what I would do. I was staring at the gate. Just staring. Trying to get rid of the foreboding feeling. Knowing that it would be best to turn and run away. Not wanting to run away and leave the company. It was quite the dilemma._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Not my horse! I need it.” Gandalf said, pulling me from my thoughts._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re not leaving us?” Bilbo asked worriedly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I would not do this unless I had to.” Gandalf smiled. “You’ve changed, Bilbo Baggins. You’re not the same Hobbit as the one who left the Shire. I’ll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and key safe. Do not enter that mountain without me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“This is not the Greenwood of old. The very air of the forest is heavy with illusion. It will seek to enter your mind and lead you astray.” I said quietly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Lead them well, Eril.” Gandalf told me._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Gandalf, I can’t-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Enough, Eril!” He said, using his Booming Voice of Doom. “It’s time to return home. And as long as you stick to the path, you shall not enter his kingdom. You must lead them. They will surely get lost without you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Gandalf got on his horse. There was a light rain settling before us. The sun was still out. He nodded to me and rode off. I turned back to the gate. I took another step forward. If I did this, they would find out. They would learn. I knew it. I would be caught by Thranduil. He would find me and who knew what he would do to me. No elf that had been exiled had ever been stupid enough to return. I looked to Thorin. I took a deep breath. I took two more steps. I was at the gate. I passed through the gate. The hole consumed my body. There was no going back now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You must stay on the path; do not leave it. If you do, you will never find it again.” I warned. “No matter what may come, stay on the path!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Come on. We must reach the mountain before the sun sets on Durin’s Day.” Thorin said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I looked at Mirkwood and then back to where Beorn the Bear was watching the horizon. I could either go to face Thranduil and face uncertainty or face Azog with certain death. Azog was looking like a rather good option right about now. This was the first time I had seriously considered leaving the company. I had hoped we wouldn’t have to go through here. What would Thranduil say to me? Would he even let me live long enough to hear anything?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Eril.” Thorin stood next to me. “We must go.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I know. It’s just… I was exiled, Thorin. My actions got me thrown out of my kingdom and now… I don’t know. I don’t know what will happen if I go back and get caught in these forests.” I sighed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I won’t let them touch you.” Thorin promised darkly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I gave a half smile that wasn’t really reassuring to either of us. I hoped that he would be able to, but I knew that not even Thorin would be able to protect me from Thranduil’s wrath. He hated to be betrayed. I took a deep breath and walked into Mirkwood._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elvish tranlations, as always.
> 
>  
> 
> _huilion _\-- Son of a bitch. Yes. Tolkien had a word for bitch. Fantastic this is why I love him.__  
>  _Amin delotha lle_ \-- I hate you  
>  _Gi utinu en lokirim_ \-- You son of a snake


	9. Mirkwood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha! Twice in a day again I'm running out of prewritten chapters. I have half of chapter 11 done and I have to be at work in 30 minutes. Fun. Anyway, as this story continues on it's way to the end, I want to thank those of you that are reading and leaving kudos! I really do enjoy it. Thanks so so so much I really do appreciate it. 
> 
> I STILL HATE HTML HSUJFKH;VJ;ASFAKL

We moved through the forest. The dwarves stayed behind me. I tried my best to lead them. I knew the twists and turns of the path even now. It was covered with dark, dead leaves and vines that threatened to knock us off the path. There were a few times the path branched off. A simple hit of an axe or sword told us if it was real. Eventually, as we neared his kingdom, I managed the keep off the feeling of the illusion with the fear of what would happen if Thranduil caught me. Maybe it should have been the thought of Thorin that kept me sane.

It wasn’t even close to that.

I followed the twists and turns carefully, turning around every once and awhile to make sure that we didn’t lose any dwarves. It was when they asked to stop that the problems started to present themselves. It was getting progressively harder to keep them on the path. I told them to stay still while I went to pick more leaves. I needed to make more of that paste. Might as well get something useful out of this trip. I went back to the path. I walked for a short way in silence. When I turned around, they were all gone.

Bugger.

I looked down. I was still on the path. I supposed that was a plus. Bloody dwarves. I was going to have to leave to try and find them. This day was just getting better and better, honestly. I pulled out my bow and moved off the path. It was like the illusion was getting stronger the farther I got away. No wonder they had strayed so far. I focused on my fear. It was all I had to hold onto now. I found their tracks. They were going in circles for a long time. I started to get annoyed. They were just getting farther and farther away from the path and getting closer and closer to Thranduil’s kingdom. I wouldn’t be able to track them much longer if I wanted to stay free.

The forest was so dark. It was so different from the lovely home I had once known. There were spider webs everywhere. Not the tiny spider webs that you find in the corners of your house. No, these were from giant spiders that thrived in madness. Spiders that could eat a full-grown elf without blinking. I shuddered at the thought. I grumbled about dwarves. I did that a lot these days. I drew my bow and kept an eye out. The crack of a branch set me off. I was smart enough to know not to let an arrow fly without first seeing my target. That part of my sanity had yet to leave.

I heard quiet whispering. No, not whispering. Just talking far far away. It was spiders. Damn spiders. They wanted to kill something. It had to be the company. Of course they had managed to get captured by the spiders. Why wouldn’t they? And if I heard the spiders, then… the others would have as well. I closed my eyes. This was another choice I was going to be forced to make. I could either leave my friends to die or get caught. Well, that was an easy choice. Why was I even considering this?

I moved silently through the forest. I kept my bow drawn and an arrow notched. This was the right choice. It had to be the right choice. I made the right choice. Hadn’t I? This was right. I was right. I had to be right. I had thought about the word right so much it didn’t really seem like a word anymore. This was correct.

Stop.

I saw Bilbo cutting down the dwarves. I shot an arrow to take down Thorin was his web cocoon. He landed rather heavily. I was angry. He deserved it, didn’t he? They had done the one thing I told them not to. Still, I felt a little bad. I walked and cut him out of the web. 

“Eril? Where did you go?!” He asked.

“I could ask you fools the same thing! I told you to stay close behind and what did you do? You made me look for you in the one place I need to get out of as quickly as possible. Honestly.” I shook my head.

“Can you get us back to the path?”

“No,” I sighed, “but I can get us to Mirkwood. If we remain undetected, we should be able to get back to the path from there.”

“Good.”

Yes. Fantastic. Perfect. Brilliant. Lovely. Not at all the worst idea that we had ever had. Definitely not going to get me killed. Indeed. 

There was a noise. The damned spiders were back. Bilbo was off in the trees somewhere. Who the hell knew what was keeping him. I hoped he wasn’t off fighting a spider by himself. He was still rather new to swords and his really was more of a dagger… whoops, I was worrying about something other than the giant spider trying to kill me. Huh. I guess I did have a death wish. Fantastic. Still, it seemed the dwarves had gotten on fine without me. They had pulled the legs off of the spider and stabbed the dismembered body. Another came and grabbed Kili. He was taken off a little ways off. 

The leaves rustled. I tensed. That wasn’t the sound of spiders.

Run.

I needed to run.

There was a spider attacking Thorin. He was losing. 

Run.

No. I had to help Thorin.

_Run. ___

__No. I turned to Thorin and cut the spider in half. I saw a flash of blonde hair. It was him. Of course it was him. Who else would come here of all places? Certainly not Thranduil. I took my bow and notched an arrow. He stood to find an arrow in his face._ _

__“Eril. I should have known you’d be with dwarves.” Legolas said angrily._ _

__“Legolas. I should have known you’d doing the King’s dirty work. Is 60 years all it takes to make you blind to him?” I countered._ _

__“Drop your bow, traitor.”_ _

__“You’re the one who seems to be in danger of dying.”_ _

__“Look again.”_ _

__Mirkwood warriors were surrounding us. Legolas smirked as I cursed in elvish and threw my bow to the ground. We were outnumbered. I knew this would happen. I backed away. I saw Tauriel turn to chase the spider pulling off Kili. At least he would be safe. For now. Legolas gestured towards me. Two guards came with manacles. One of them hit the back of my leg to knock me to my knees. I grunted in pain. Thorin took a step forward and protested and I was put in irons. I shook my head. There was nothing he could do now._ _

__“I cannot begin to tell you how thrilled Thranduil will be to see you, Eril. He expected you to show up years ago.” Legolas sneered._ _

__“Don’t snarl, darling. It makes you look more like your father.” I said._ _

__“You’re acting rather smart for someone in irons.”_ _

__“Would you rather I pretend to be terrified?”_ _

__He turned around, flipping his hair dramatically. “Take their weapons. Now.”_ _

__I was pulled roughly to my feet, all of my weapons taken from me. The dwarves were going through a similar treatment. I stood tall. The two guards stayed next to me, as per Legolas’s orders. Legolas looked at my sword._ _

__“Aduial. How fitting for a traitor to have a blade forged by dwarves.”_ _

“ _Pedin i phith in aníron, a nin ú-cheniathog_ ” I said. “It was forged by elves, too. There was once an alliance. Clearly something the elves from Mirkwood have forgotten.”

____“You always did spend too much time in Rivendell. It’s a wonder you left us for them.”_ _ _ _

____Legolas spat at my feet. I headbutted him. I think I broke his nose. I caught a glimpse of the blood on his face before I was pushed to the ground with a sword pressed against my throat. I knew they wouldn’t kill me. Not here. The dwarves protested, Thorin especially loudly. I shook my head. Legolas ordered them to let me stand. Bilbo was still nowhere to be seen. I said nothing. I was taken to the front of the group and placed next to Tauriel. She wasn’t even looking at me. We had been friends before I left. I wondered what Thranduil had told them happened. He probably said I attacked him. Coward._ _ _ _

____We crossed the familiar bridge to the Woodland realm. This place was more like the forests I had once known. I couldn’t really appreciate the beauty of my home now when I was being taken to what was more than likely my death. We were led through the gate. All the elves we passed looked at me in shock and curiosity. I held their gaze. When our eyes would meet, they would turn and walk away quickly. Some of these people had been my friends and they wouldn’t even look at me now. Typical of elves. What could I do other than hide my fear? Not for an instant would I let Thranduil know that I was afraid of him. Not ever. Why should he get that satisfaction?_ _ _ _

____They whispered about me. I pictured myself amongst them, watching dwarves walk through my home. I could’ve been among them today, if my choices had been different. I didn’t want to be with them._ _ _ _

____I was taken to a separate location than the dwarves. They protested, trying to break free from the guards. I smiled reassuringly. I had to say something kind now, didn’t I? I had to give them false hope._ _ _ _

____“I’ll be fine.” I promised. “I’ll see you when we get out of here.”_ _ _ _

____They believed me. How nice. Thorin would hate me when he found out how big of a lie that was. Not that I would be there to see him hate me. I hoped._ _ _ _

____~-~-~-~-~-_ _ _ _

____I was put in my own cell, away from the others. I started to pace. There was a guard at the door. There was no getting out of this one. Not this time. I just had to sit and think about all the things I was about to lose. It was rather easy. Just picture a face and remind myself that I would never see it again. It especially hurt when I thought of Thorin. The last thing I had said to him had been a lie. Probably. When I stopped pacing, I slid down the cell wall and rested my face in my hands. I had known this would happen. As soon as I saw the gate, I knew. And I went anyway. What did that say about me? Was I suicidal? I didn’t think so. No, I just wanted to help the dwarves find their home again._ _ _ _

____Eventually, the cell was opened and I was taken to Thranduil. I remembered the court in perfect detail, right down to the throne Thranduil was sitting on. If I were still a member of this court, I would be standing to his right. I would be looking at Thorin uneasily, but not moving or breaking my gaze. I would have a different kind of pit in my stomach. Guilt. This, where I was, standing before Thranduil as a prisoner, this was where I wanted to be. Thorin was standing to my left. I was standing tall. I didn’t acknowledge him._ _ _ _

____“I’ve seen how you treat your friends!” Thorin was shouting. “We came to you once, starving and homeless! And you turned your back on us! I’ve seen how you treat your own kind! You would exile someone as skilled as Eril for simply not obeying?!”_ _ _ _

____“She chose to leave, Thorin Oakenshield!” Thranduil stood and walked to Thorin, quite angry now. “She chose the dwarves over her own kind. And now you have returned.”_ _ _ _

____“Not for you. You left them to burn. You watched them die” I responded._ _ _ _

____Thorin was looking at me differently. It was that look that I had wanted to avoid. I didn’t want to see whatever it was that was there towards me. I could see the renewed hatred for Thranduil in his eyes. I could see something else growing there to. I turned my gaze back to Thranduil. I watched as his face contorted to show his scars and burns. All caused by dragons._ _ _ _

____“Do not talk to me of dragon fire. I know its wrath and ruin. I have faced the great serpents of the north.” His face returned to normal. “I warned your grandfather of what his greed would summon, but he would not listen.” Thranduil returned to his throne. “You are just like him.” With a single motion, two guards grabbed Thorin. He was hauled to the dungeons. “Stay here if you will, and rot. A hundred years is a mere blink in the life of an elf. I am patient. I can wait. Eril, stay here. I wish to speak with you. In private.”_ _ _ _

____The rest of the court dispersed. It was just Thranduil and I. I stood my ground. I was not afraid of Thranduil. I was not afraid of Thranduil. I hoped that if I repeated my mantra, I would eventually believe it._ _ _ _

____“You came back. You know the consequences.”_ _ _ _

____“I do.”_ _ _ _

____“Then why?”_ _ _ _

____“You know the answer to that, Thranduil.”_ _ _ _

____“You will always choose them?”_ _ _ _

____“No. I will just always choose them over you.”_ _ _ _

____Thranduil came to stand in front of me. “You hate me that much?”_ _ _ _

____“I do.”_ _ _ _

____He nodded. He almost looked sad. I would’ve bought it if he said he was._ _ _ _

____“Then you can rot with them tonight,” Thranduil sat back at his throne, “and die in the morning.”_ _ _ _

____Two guards grabbed me. I was taken to the dungeon where the dwarves were being held. All of the cells were taken. Wonderful. The guards punched me in the stomach and I was thrown in with Thorin. I stood up and spat the small amount of blood in my mouth in one of their faces. He headbutted me in response. I smiled. I was sure I looked deranged. That was the point. The guards left. I used the sleeve of my shirt to wipe off the blood, sniffing to help stop the flow. I sat in the corner against the wall. At least now I knew that I was in fact going to die. I would be home. I wondered if my execution would be public, or if Thranduil would simply behead me in private._ _ _ _

____“You never told me.” Thorin said quietly, pulling me from my morbid thoughts._ _ _ _

____“Told you what?” I responded._ _ _ _

____“Why you left.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh. Yes, that.”_ _ _ _

____“What happened?”_ _ _ _

____Perhaps it was time to tell him. He did have a right to know, after all. He trusted me now. More than trusted me. I was always going to tell him. Tonight would probably be my last chance._ _ _ _

____“You truly wish to know? Fine.” I sighed. “The day that Smaug came to take Erebor, I was in the front lines of Thranduil’s armies. I stood next to him as he gave the order to leave. I saw the people down there. I heard them screaming for help. I knew I would never forgive myself if I left them to die. I tried to stop him. He gave me a choice. I could either leave with the elves or never return home. I would have never forgiven myself if I had let the dwarves burn.”_ _ _ _

____“I had heard rumours of an elf that helped many families.” Thorin admitted._ _ _ _

____“And you never thought they could be true?”_ _ _ _

____“Not until I met you.” He sat next to me in the corner. “Why wouldn’t you tell me something like that sooner?”_ _ _ _

____“Because I was trying to prove to you that not all elves were the way you saw them. Without having to revisit the past.”_ _ _ _

____He nodded. I rested my head against the cave wall. I undid my hair. The braid had been ruined anyway. It cascaded in waves around me._ _ _ _

____Thorin sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. It was strange. He wasn’t really one for public affection. Though maybe this didn’t count as public. We couldn’t be seen by any of the other dwarves. It was like being alone. There was a good chance that this was the last time I would see him. I closed my eyes to get rid of that thought. I would not allow it to exist. I simply couldn’t. I would just have to enjoy this moment all the more. We had so few. All of them were small. Brushing our hands “accidentally”, moving next to each other when the others were asleep and moving away before they woke up, small kisses that lasted less than a second. Thorin ran his hand through my hair, murmuring to me in Khuzdul. It was a harsh language, so unlike my own native tongue. Still, it had it’s own amount of beauty to it._ _ _ _

____I held the hairpin from my braid in my hand. It dug into my skin as I gripped it tighter. Oh. I had made this, hadn’t I? I jumped to my feet. Thorin was quick to follow. Oh! It was the damned forest that had made me forget. This pin was designed to open these cell doors. How could I have forgotten that? Thranduil should have remembered that I designed these cells. I knew all of their flaws. I heard laughter above. Oh yes. It was the Feast of Starlight. How could I have forgotten? I shook my head. I had to focus. I walked to the cage door._ _ _ _

____“What are you doing?” Thorin asked._ _ _ _

____“Picking the lock. Shh.”_ _ _ _

____I imagined he had a look of shock and a did-she-really-just-shush-the-King-Under-the-Mountain sort of expression. It made me smile. I heard the lock click. Success. I pushed open the door._ _ _ _

____“Thranduil really should have put me somewhere else.” I joked._ _ _ _

____I moved to work on Fili’s cell next. I heard footsteps behind me. I looked up. Bilbo was holding a ring of keys._ _ _ _

____“I guess you didn’t need me to rescue you after all.” He smiled._ _ _ _

____“You’re alive!” I hugged him. “When I didn’t see you with the others, I thought that you had been eaten by the spiders!”_ _ _ _

____“I just managed to slip away.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, you have a habit of doing that. Nevermind! Those keys will work much faster. C’mon.”_ _ _ _

____Bilbo complied and went around opening the cells. The dwarves praised him rather loudly, despite his warning of the guards nearby. I had to admit, I was having a hard time caring as well. Bilbo was safe. I had truly thought that he was dead. It was a relief to know that he wasn’t. I hadn’t had time to process it with everything that had happened. This was a much better answer to that problem._ _ _ _

____“Bilbo, have they sent the barrels down the river yet?” I asked._ _ _ _

____Thranduil did have a good taste in wine, I had to admit. And because of the feast up above, he was sure to have many empty barrels that had to be sent back._ _ _ _

____“No, the guards were talking about that. You’re not-”_ _ _ _

____“Are you?”_ _ _ _

____“I considered it.”_ _ _ _

____“Then let’s go.”_ _ _ _

____Bilbo and I took off to the cellar, the dwarves following behind us. When they saw we were in the cellar, they protested. I shushed them._ _ _ _

____“Get in.” Bilbo said._ _ _ _

____“They’ll catch us.” Dwalin insisted._ _ _ _

____“No, no, they won’t, I promise you. Please, please, you MUST trust me!”_ _ _ _

____We didn’t have long to decide. Thorin looked to me. I nodded. We had to do this. There was no other choice, not this time._ _ _ _

____“Do as he says!” Thorin ordered._ _ _ _

____The dwarves all clambered into barrels. Fifteen. The perfect amount for all of us. I. I wouldn’t be able to fit anyway. This would be fun. The dwarves looked out of the barrels, watching us expectantly. Bilbo walked to a lever in the ground. Bilbo told them to hold their breath. He pulled the lever and the trap door fell open. They all fell into the river. They of course made a lot of noise. It didn’t help that the barrels landed heavily and loudly into the water below. I looked to the hallway. The trap door closed._ _ _ _

____That was unfortunate._ _ _ _

____Bilbo stomped on the door. I heard footsteps. They were coming. This was not going to work. Only one of us would make it out. Someone had to pull the lever. Well, I sure as hell wasn’t going to leave Bilbo here to face the elves. They already hated me. What was one more grievance added to that? I pulled the lever. The elves came into the room. I heard a splash as Bilbo fell. I willed for the dwarves to leave without me. Thorin wouldn’t let them, I knew that. I smiled at Tauriel. She looked at me in shock. The guards ran for me. I disarmed the first one that reached me. I took his dagger and his sword. They stopped. All the people here knew what I was capable of. They knew better. I walked backwards. They took a few steps towards me. I winked._ _ _ _

____“I hope never to see any of you again.” I said, throwing the sword back to it’s owner._ _ _ _

____I hit the lever. I ran to the trap door and dove into the water._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations, friends.
> 
>  
> 
> _Pedin i phith in aníron, a nin ú-cheniathog _\-- I can say what I wish, and you wouldn't understand, literally. I mean it more as "you wouldn't believe me if I told you anyway" sort of thing. Patronising. You know.__


	10. Laketown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo thanks for reading! I've had so much fun writing. Speaking of which, I'm almost out of prewritten chapters. So. Um. I'd better get on that. Don't worry, it'll be fine. I'll get out tomorrow's chapter tomorrow and continue furiously writing. I don't have to go to work for another three days, so it should be fine. I'll even write on Thanksgiving. (I was gonna do that anyway)

The water was freezing. Really, _really _cold. Unseasonably cold. I broke the surface of the water. Thorin grabbed my hand and made sure that I was holding onto his barrel. Bilbo was hanging onto Nori’s barrel. Thorin smiled at us. I had a sneaking suspicion he had always wanted to be able to escape from Thranduil. The dwarves started to paddle down the river using their hands. I grasped on for dear life. It would only be smooth waters for so long. I could already see the waterfall nearing. Thorin gripped my arm, pulling me as close to him as he could.__

__“Hold on!” He yelled._ _

__It turns out that even when you’re holding onto the edge of a barrel with someone holding your arms in place, you still get thrown away from the thing your holding onto while falling down a waterfall. I landed rather roughly on another barrel. I groaned. Of course I had. At least I had a weapon. Why hadn’t I held on to the sword? That would have been so much better. I can be quite daft at times, can’t I? It didn’t really matter anyway. A weapon was a weapon._ _

__“Eril?!” Thorin yelled, looking for me._ _

__“I’m here. I’m okay.” I sputtered, spitting out water._ _

__It was a little difficult to continue to breathe normally when we were thrown into the rapids. I could see the gate. Thorin paddled over to me and grabbed my arm again. I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes. This would only last so long. I heard an elvish horn. They were signaling to close the gate. We rounded a corner. I willed for the barrels to move faster. Wishful thinking. The gate closed. We were trapped. Wonderful. The elven guards held up their bows._ _

__“No!” Thorin beat on the gate._ _

__One of the guards fell before us. There was a black arrow in his back. Once again, we were leaving one danger to go headlong into another. Bofur yelled out what I already knew as more of my brothers fell into the river. It was really getting crowded around this gate. I had had enough of this. I climbed up Thorin’s barrel, standing on the edge and holding onto the top of the gate. I moved my way across, my new found dagger drawn._ _

__I missed Aduial._ _

__Orcs started jumping into the water at the dwarves. I managed to kill one of them with the dagger while Bilbo hit another with Sting. Dwalin elbowed an orc in the face. I continued moving. I saw Kili struggling in his barrel. He must have had a similar thought as I did. We had to get the gate open and there was only one way to do that. I pulled Kili out of his barrel._ _

__“Get to the lever. I’ve got your back! Go, go!” I pushed him to land._ _

__An orc swung at him. I cut its throat. Dwalin threw a sword to Kili. Together, we were able to fight our way to the top of the stairs. Fili threw a dagger at an orc that was trying to kill me from behind. I turned to fight another. Kili was almost to the lever. A few more steps. He made it. His fingers were on the lever. He started to pull down. I saw the arrow before it hit his calf. I wished for my bow. Damn elves. I looked to where the arrow had come from. Kili strained to pull the lever. He fell on his back. I wouldn’t be able to reach him. I saw another orc notch an arrow. I had no time. I wouldn’t be able to save him. No._ _

__The orc fell with an arrow in its head. Tauriel. She jumped from the bushes and landed in front of me, an arrow pointed at my neck. Notched in _my _bow.___ _

____“If you’re going to help us, then help us. Otherwise, go back to your coward king.” I said calmly._ _ _ _

____“Why did you leave?” She asked me. “You were given everything here.”_ _ _ _

____“Because I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I’d let them die without at least trying.”_ _ _ _

____She nodded. Apparently, I had said the right thing. She handed me the things that had been taken from me: my sword, my bow and quiver, my bag of supplies. I nodded to her. She smiled and ran back to the fight. I called Thorin’s name and tossed my stolen blade to him. Kili managed to open the lever. The gate opened and the dwarves moved forward again. Kili fell back in pain. I helped him to his feet and pulled out the arrow in his leg._ _ _ _

____No. No no no. I threw the arrow to the side. I looked at Kili helplessly. A Morgul shaft? I could already picture him writhing in pain as the poison made its way through his veins. There was nothing to do now. I held onto his shirt and threw him into his empty barrel. I continued to run along the banks of the river. They fell down a waterfall. I slid down the small cliff face, cutting down orcs as I went. The river was far too wild for the dwarves to control where they went now. I shot at the orcs trying to shoot the dwarves. My aim was far better than theirs. I had had over two millennia to practice._ _ _ _

____An orc leaped at Thorin. I almost ran to help. Then I saw the sword he was holding. He would never forgive me if I took this kill from him. I decided to leave it alone. Elves were now chasing after the orcs. Legolas stood by my side. We nodded. There was no time to fight each other. Not now. We fought side by side, like we had so many times in the past. Together, we shot down an orc aiming for Balin. It looked much better with arrows in its eye sockets. The dwarves were throwing their single sword across to each other. They were certainly resourceful. Thorin had the sword again. He threw it at an orc, pinning it to a tree branch. He caught the orc’s weapon as he passed underneath it. He threw it back to Bombur, who threw it to Nori, who threw it to Kili… this wasn’t worth keeping up with, honestly. Either way, they seemed to be doing well on their own. I focused on the orcs still on land._ _ _ _

____Legolas jumped through the trees. I ran on the ground. We had each other’s backs. I had missed this. I cut down an orc that landed in front of me with its teeth bared and weapons ready. Pathetic. Was this the best that they had to offer? I had had more difficulty hunting the spiders in the forests._ _ _ _

____I watched as Bombur’s barrel was catapulted through the air. I jumped to the side just before it ran me over. It stopped, orcs surrounding it. Bombur kicked out the bottom and became a whirlwind of axes and swords. The barrel broke around him and he ran back to river. I was very surprised to see how gracefully he jumped into an empty barrel. Dwarves would never cease to impress me, would they?_ _ _ _

____The other elves were all caught up to us. They looked from me to Legolas. He ordered for them to leave me alone. I thanked him quietly. He nodded. There was no time for pleasantries or tradition. We had orcs to fight. Legolas leapt over the river and stood on the heads of the dwarves. It was a funny sight. I couldn’t help myself. I let out a little laugh. Thankfully, Thorin didn’t hear it. I could only imagine the argument we would have had after this was over. Legolas expertly shot orcs from his new vantage point. I shoot an arrow at an orc. It passed dangerously close to Legolas’s ear. He almost fell off his dwarf heads. He gave me a look of venom. I shrugged. Thorin laughed. It was a real hoot, given the situation._ _ _ _

____Legolas jumped over the heads and made his way to the other side of the river. He fought with an orc. I had my own to focus on. One ran at me with his sword drawn. I side stepped. He lunged. I parried with my bow. It really was quite a bore. All orcs had a very similar fighting style. I stabbed him in the neck with an arrow and kicked him into the water. I pushed on. Thorin threw a sword. I saw an orc running at Legolas fall dead. The elf and the dwarf shared a look of understanding. Still hate filled, but understanding. That was a start. I put away my bow and drew Aduial. This was the sword I knew and loved. I slashed a few more orcs._ _ _ _

____The land was getting farther away. I was going to have to use Aduial more later. I was sure that I would get more opportunities. I sheathed her and ran. I dove into the water. I swam to one of the barrels. Bofur hit my back with a smile. I smiled back shyly. We were slightly better off than we were before. That was something. Sort of. I looked back. I could see Legolas and Tauriel walking away. It had been good to fight with them again. I knew now that I would never again be able to walk the halls of Mirkwood, lest it be as a ghost. I was sad to say goodbye to home for good._ _ _ _

____The river calmed down. The dwarves were finally able to paddle along with their hands. I was able to swim on my own without having to hold on to a barrel._ _ _ _

____“Anything behind us?” Thorin asked._ _ _ _

____“Not that I can see.” Balin reported._ _ _ _

____“I think we’ve outrun the orcs.” Bofur said._ _ _ _

____“Not for long; we’ve lost the current.” Thorin sighed. “Make for the shore! Come on, let’s go!”_ _ _ _

____We paddled to the river bank. There was a slab of rock perfect for resting. I helped dwarves out of barrels. Kili collapsed almost immediately. The cloth he had used to was soaked with blood. Bofur looked concerned. I knew Thorin was as well, but he had to remain all… kingly? Something like that._ _ _ _

____“On your feet.” He said._ _ _ _

____“Kili’s wounded. His leg needs binding.” Fili insisted._ _ _ _

____“There’s an orc pack on our tail; we keep moving.”_ _ _ _

____Logically, yes. But we wouldn’t get very far if Kili couldn’t even move._ _ _ _

____“To where?” Balin asked._ _ _ _

____“To the mountain; we’re so close.” Bilbo nodded._ _ _ _

____“A lake lies between us and that mountain. We have no way to cross it.”_ _ _ _

____“So then we go around.”_ _ _ _

____“The orcs will run us down, as sure as daylight. We have no weapons to defend ourselves.” Dwalin said._ _ _ _

____“Bind his leg, quickly. You have two minutes.” Thorin looked out._ _ _ _

____I kneeled by Kili. I reached into my bag. The healing paste would only make this wound worst. I at least had something clean to use as a bandage. I took the cloth out of my bag and wrapped it around his leg. Kili yelled in pain. Fili looked like he was in worse pain. I would have to tell Thorin. He needed to know what was happening to his kin. If we didn’t get the proper herbs, Kili would die. I knew that._ _ _ _

____“Thorin, we need to-” I began._ _ _ _

____I heard a branch crack. The dwarves sat down. I had a bad feeling. My hand instinctively went to my bow. I didn’t want to worry them if it was nothing, but I wanted to be prepared. There was a man. He was pointing an arrow at Ori. I returned the favour, aiming for his eye. The dwarves rushed for him. He easily stopped them. I released an arrow. The arrowhead nicked his ear. He looked at me and realised where I was from. He kept his bow aimed for me._ _ _ _

____“Do it again, and you’re dead.” He warned._ _ _ _

____“Try it. I dare you. You’ll be dead before you even let loose the arrow.” I responded._ _ _ _

____Balin walked to me and pushed down my bow. He had his diplomat face on. I kept an eye on the man. He lowered his bow as well. Balin walked forward with his hands in the air._ _ _ _

____“Excuse me, but, uh, you’re from Laketown, if I’m not mistaken? That barge over there, it wouldn’t be available for hire, by any chance?” Balin asked with an easy smile on his face._ _ _ _

____The man got onto his barge. “What makes you think I will help you?”_ _ _ _

____“Those boots have seen better days.”_ _ _ _

____Bard loaded the barrels into his barge. His boots did look as though they had been repaired several times._ _ _ _

____“As has that coat. No doubt you have some hungry mouths to feed. How many bairns?”_ _ _ _

____“A boy and two girls.”_ _ _ _

____“And your wife, I’d imagine she’s a beauty.”_ _ _ _

____I could see the grief in his face long before he said anything._ _ _ _

____“Aye. She was.”_ _ _ _

____The easy smile faded from Balin’s face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, come on, come on, enough with the niceties.” Dwalin whispered loudly to Thorin._ _ _ _

____“What’s your hurry?”_ _ _ _

____“What’s it to you?”_ _ _ _

____“I would like to know who you are and what you are doing in these lands.”_ _ _ _

____“We are simple merchants from the Blue Mountains journeying to see our kin in the Iron Hills. This is our guard from Mirkwood.”_ _ _ _

____“Simple merchants, you say?”_ _ _ _

____“We’ll need food, supplies, weapons. Can you help us?” Thorin asked as nicely as he could._ _ _ _

____“I know where these barrels came from.”_ _ _ _

____“What of it?”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t know what business you had with the elves, but I don’t think it ended well, even if you do have one of them with you, another curious matter, considering the current relationship between elves and dwarves. No one enters Laketown but by leave of the Master. All his wealth comes from trade with the Woodland Realm. He will see you in irons before risking the wrath of King Thranduil.”_ _ _ _

____The man tossed a rope to Balin._ _ _ _

____“Offer him more.” Thorin mouthed._ _ _ _

____“I’ll wager there are ways to enter that town unseen.” Balin said quickly._ _ _ _

____“Aye. But for that, you will need a smuggler.”_ _ _ _

____“For which we will pay double.”_ _ _ _

____The man was clearly suspicious, but he needed the money. I could see it in his face. He sighed and told us to get on board. It took a while, but we all got inside. Kili sat down near the front, Fili right next to him. Thorin and I stood closer to the back. I walked to our designated driver._ _ _ _

____“What’s your name?” I asked._ _ _ _

____“Bard.” He said shortly._ _ _ _

____“Your ear is bleeding rather badly.”_ _ _ _

____“I believe that’s your fault.”_ _ _ _

____“Sorry about that. I can stop the bleeding, if you’d like.”_ _ _ _

____He nodded, not looking at me. I took the paste from my bag and used a little. The nick healed. He thanked me and turned back to steering. I sat down next to where Thorin was still standing. He rested his hand on my shoulder. It was comforting. I shivered. Our clothes were still wet and it was winter. Thorin sat next to me and pulled me against his chest. Balin looked to us curiously but said nothing. He was the only one who noticed. I didn’t really care. I leaned into Thorin. I hoped that this would be a well deserved break from danger. Knowing our luck, it was only a matter of time before something absolutely awful happened, but I was going to take this moments as they came to us._ _ _ _

____I didn’t get to spend enough time with Thorin. I closed my eyes. It was very foggy now. I could hear the ice hitting the boat. Bofur yelled. The boat lurched. I was almost thrown to the side and Thorin held onto me. That is, until he jumped up to yell at yet another person who was helping._ _ _ _

____“What are you trying to do, drown us?” He protested._ _ _ _

____“I was born and bred on these waters, Master Dwarf. If I wanted to drown you, I would not do it here.” Bard responded._ _ _ _

____I smiled. A man after my own heart._ _ _ _

____“Oh I have enough of this lippy lakeman. I say we throw him over the side and be done with him.” Dwalin grumbled._ _ _ _

____“Ohh, Bard, his name’s Bard.” Bilbo said angrily._ _ _ _

____“How do you know?” Bofur seemed genuinely surprised._ _ _ _

____“Uh, I asked him.”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t care what he calls himself, I don’t like him.” Dwalin said to Thorin._ _ _ _

____“We do not have to like him, we simply have to pay him. Come on now, lads, turn out your pockets.” Balin said._ _ _ _

____I reached into my own pockets. I had a little gold. This journey had not exactly been kind to our coin purses. I gave what I had to Balin. The others did the same. Dwalin was ever suspicious and Thorin had a similar expression on his face. Balin counted the money. His expression fell._ _ _ _

____“There’s, um, just a problem: we’re ten coins short.” He said._ _ _ _

____“Gloin. Come on. Give us what you have.” Thorin sighed._ _ _ _

____“Don’t look to me. I have been bled dry by this venture! And what have I seen for my investment? Naught but misery and grief and-” Gloin started._ _ _ _

____I tuned him out. There it was, in all it’s glory. Covered by fog, but none the less beautiful. The Lonely Mountain. Erebor. Our quest was nearing it’s end. I looked to Thorin for what felt like the hundredth time. Would we stay together at the end of this quest? I had a sneaking suspicion the answer was no. I would probably be back where I was a year ago. A year. Had it really been that long? So much had changed. Thorin and I had changed. I smiled as I thought to the night we had met. I had been so annoyed. Honestly, I still was. Thorin took my hand._ _ _ _

____“Bless my beard. Take it. Take all of it.” Gloin said breathlessly as he handed Balin a sack of coins._ _ _ _

____Bilbo coughed and gestured to Bard, who was approaching us._ _ _ _

____“The money, quick, give it to me.” He said._ _ _ _

____“We’ll pay you when we get our provisions, but not before.” Thorin said._ _ _ _

____“If you value your freedom, you’ll do as I say. There are guards ahead.”_ _ _ _

____He wasn’t wrong. Bard took the coins and shoved them into his pocket._ _ _ _

____“Quick. Get in the barrels.”_ _ _ _

____“Excuse me?”_ _ _ _

____“Just do as he says, Thorin.” I sighed, practically pushing him to them. “I won’t fit in one of those barrels. Do you have a plan?” I asked Bard._ _ _ _

____“Not really.”_ _ _ _

____“Do you have parchment?”_ _ _ _

____“Why?”_ _ _ _

____“I used to work with Thranduil, handling the trade routes for Laketown. I know his handwriting well enough to make a convincing forgery.”_ _ _ _

____“Then I’ll provide you with the means.”_ _ _ _

____Making the letter was easy enough. It was just a matter of getting Bard’s plan. I wrote it twice, once in my native language and script, Sindarin, and once in english, as Thranduil would have done. This was much too simplistic. The barge stopped at a dock just outside the city. Bard hopped off and spoke to a man. I could hear the dwarves whispering amongst themselves. I kicked one of the barrels. They complained. I didn’t really care._ _ _ _

____I knew what they were saying. It made it all the more satisfying when the dead fish were poured into the barrels. I straightened my shirt. My clothes had dried by now. I quickly styled my hair, using my hairpin to keep it in place. I hoped I looked like an elf that Thranduil would send from Mirkwood. I heard them complain once more as we reached another gate. Bard kicked the barrel closest to him._ _ _ _

____“Quiet! We’re approaching the toll gate.” Bard warned._ _ _ _

____“Halt! Goods inspection. Papers, please. Oh, it’s you, Bard.” The gatekeeper smiled. “Who’s your friend?”_ _ _ _

____“Le suilon! Forgive my rudeness, I am named Tauriel.” She wouldn’t come here. It’d be fine. “I come from Thranduil, bearing gifts._ _ _ _

____The gatekeeper came outside._ _ _ _

____“A pleasure, my lady.” The gatekeeper bowed. “Anything to declare, Bard?”_ _ _ _

____“Nothing, but that I am cold and tired, and ready for home, Percy.” Bard handed Percy some papers._ _ _ _

____“You and me both.” He went back into his office to stamp them. “Here we are. All in order.”_ _ _ _

____Another man came out and stopped Percy from letting Bard through._ _ _ _

____“Not so fast.” He said. He read the papers and looked at what we were carrying. He didn’t even look at me. “Consignment of empty barrels from the Woodland Realm. Only, they’re not empty, are they, Bard? If I recall correctly, you’re licensed as a bargeman, not a fisherman.” Alfrid picked up a fish from a barrel._ _ _ _

____“I apologise,” I said quickly, seeing Bombur’s eye. The man from the shadows turned to me, “but that would be my fault. These fish come from my home for your people, not your own waters.”_ _ _ _

____“Well,” the man looked over me. I didn’t like the way he was doing it., “I can tell by your great beauty you must be from the elves.”_ _ _ _

____Thorin grumbled. I kicked his barrel and smiled._ _ _ _

____“However, we cannot accept these. Empty the barrels over the side.”_ _ _ _

____I had to think quickly. The soldiers had two barrels already. The fish started to fall into the canal._ _ _ _

____“These come from King Thranduil himself.” I said, pulling out my parchment from earlier. “He sends them in good faith, as yesterday was a call for celebration for us. If you decline, I will be forced to tell him. He will take it as a personal offence, and I’m sure you know how short tempered he can be.”_ _ _ _

____“Stop.” The man said, holding up his hand. “Fine. You may go through.”_ _ _ _

____I bowed slightly as Percy raised the gate and we moved through._ _ _ _

____“The Master has his eye on you, Bard; you’d do well to remember. We know where you live.”_ _ _ _

____“It’s a small town, Alfrid; everyone knows where everyone lives.” Bard responded._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations, translations.
> 
> Le Suilon -- Greetings!
> 
> hksdhgablfsmutinthenextchapterhjdskabglja


	11. **The Last Days of Autumn**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I am posting another chapter today. YES it has smut. Only a little. It's literally 493 words out of 2762, which is like two paragraphs, so I will be writing a whole chapter, the next chapter, with more. Because this chapter is more about plot.
> 
> Speaking of which, those of you just here for plot, press control-f when you reach "I sat down on the edge of the bad" and search for "Meleth-nin". Ok? Ok.

Bard docked the barge. We both looked around. Nobody important was watching. Bard knocked over the first barrel. I followed in suit. The dwarves that fell out looked at me in anger. Dwalin looked at Bard with pure venom and pushed himself out of his barrel. The rest struggled out of their barrels, covered in slime and shivering. Bard spoke with the dock keeper. I helped the dwarves to their feet and we started following Bard to wherever he was taking us. A young boy ran up to Bard.

“Da! Our house, it’s being watched.” He said.

Ah. It was his son. I could see the family resemblance. Bard looked to Thorin. He had a plan. 

~-~-~-~-~-

I hated his plan.

Even I wouldn’t be able to enter his house without arousing suspicion, so I had to follow the dwarves. Through the loo. It was insane. It was wrong. It was demeaning. I was starting to understand why Thorin hated this man. I crawled up with the help of his son, Bain. Dwalin had come up before me and he spoke what the rest of us were thinking. Bilbo looked more mortified than the rest of us. Tilda, one of Bard’s daughters, handed out blankets. I took off my boots and wet shirt and left them near the fire to dry. Bard passed out dry shirts.

“It may not be the best fit.” He said.

“Thank you very much.” Bilbo smiled.

Thorin was looking out the window. There was a wooden tower not that far off. There was some sort of a crossbow at the top.

“A Dwarvish Wind-Lance.” Thorin said in disbelief.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Bilbo said.

“He has. The last time we saw such a weapon, a city was on fire. It was the day the dragon came.” Balin responded.

Thorin looked away sadly. I moved next to him. He looked grateful for the company. I knew how this must have made him feel. That sadness and pain. 

“The day that Smaug destroyed Dale. Girion, the Lord of the city, rallied his bowman to fire upon the beast.” Balin continued. “But a dragon’s hide is tough, tougher than the strongest armor. Only a black arrow, fired from a wind-lance, could have pierced the dragon’s hide, and few of those arrows were ever made. His store was running low when Girion made his last stand.”

“Had the aim of Men been true that day, much would have been different.” Thorin said angrily, as he generally did when talking of other races.

“You speak as if you were there.” Bard said.

“All dwarves know the tale.”

“Then you would know that Girion hit the dragon. He loosened a scale under the left wing. One more shot and he would have killed the beast.” Bain said confidently.

“Ha ha ha! That’s a fairy story, lad. Nothing more.” Dwalin laughed.

Thorin strode up to Bard. “You took our money. Where are the weapons?”

“Wait here.”

He left the house. We were able to just sit. I held onto Thorin’s hand. He was shaking. I wasn’t sure if it was grief, anger, or the cold. Perhaps it was all three. 

“Tomorrow begins the last days of autumn.” Thorin whispered.

“Durin’s Day falls morn after next. We must reach the mountain before then.” Balin said.

“And if we do not? If we fail to find the hidden door before that time?” Kili asked.

“Then this quest has been for nothing.” Fili answered.

Bard returned and laid a bundle on the table. Thorin stood. I followed. Bard loosened the wrappings. There were a few hand-made weapons, if you could call them that. The dwarves picked them up in disgust. There was no way we would be able to finish the quest with these and my sword and bow. I didn’t have enough arrows to defend them.

“What is this?” Thorin asked, holding up… something.

“Pike-hook. Made from an old harpoon.” Bard said it like it was obvious.

“And this?” Kili asked.

“A crowbill, we call it, fashioned from a smithy’s hammer. It’s heavy in hand, I grant, but in defense of your life, these will serve you better than none.”

“We paid you for weapons. Iron-forged swords and axes!” Gloin protested.

“It’s a joke!” Bofur agreed, throwing his weapon back on the table. It turned into a very loud throwing of iron onto a wooden table. 

“You won’t find better outside the city armory. All iron-forged weapons are held there under lock and key.” Bard insisted.

“Why not take what’s been offered and go? I’ve made do with less; so have you. I say we leave now.” Balin said.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Bard said, very ominously, I might add.

“What did you say!?” Dwalin stood up. Very threatening, holding a… a harpoon?

“There’s spies watching this house and probably every dock and wharf in the town. You must wait till nightfall.”

This was a satisfying answer to us, as we began to settle down. Kili slid down a pole and sat on the couch. I saw him examine his bandage. It wasn’t going to get any better. I knew that. I just couldn’t find the words to tell him. To tell any of them. I walked upstairs. I had to get word back to Mirkwood. Tauriel might be able to help. If I could just…somehow. A small bird landed on the windowsill. Well, that was convenient. I whispered my message to it and sent it on its way. That was all I could do. I just hoped she got the message in time. I sat down on the bed. Thorin came up. He kissed me gently. I didn’t realise how much I needed him right now. 

“Thorin.” I said, pushing him away, “We can’t. Not here, not now.”

“Well, that’s asking a lot of me, elf.” He said quietly, kissing me again while pushing me onto the bed gently. “What does it matter anyway?”

He was right. No one else would come up here, as long as we were quiet. We kissed again. We were so close to the end and we had been through so much, we just had to get lost in each other. He was just able to make everything else fade away. It was just the two of us together, no orcs, no quest, no troubles. I rolled on top of him. My hair fell over us. He ran a hand through it with a smile.

“Your hair is quite beautiful. For an elf.” Thorin whispered.

“Thanks.” I chuckled.

He trailed his hands up and down my back, resting on my waist. His other hand brushed against my cheek. The calluses were rough. He had been through so much and seen so much. I moaned quietly. He rolled us over. He sucked on my bottom lip. He ran a hand up my thighs, resting on the waistband of my trousers. He pulled them down and pushed aside the cloth of my panties, plunging a finger inside. I bit my lip to keep myself from making any noise. Thorin seemed to take this as a challenge. He put another finger inside and started thrusting faster. I arched my back. His thumb ran circles over my clit. I rolled us over.

“Thorin, we should stop.”

Why did I roll us over? This wasn’t going to end well. It was up to me. I should have left. All I had to do was stand and leave.

“Should we?” He kissed my neck, biting down lightly.

No. We shouldn’t. I kissed him again, reaching down to undo his trousers. I had lost all control. I pulled down his breeches. I took his cock in my hand. Thorin undid the top of my shirt which was already too big to begin with. He sucked on my breast. I slowly lowered myself onto him, taking a deep breath. I held onto his shoulders as I kept a steady pace, letting myself go. I rested my head to keep from making too much noise.

I could feel the pressure building. Thorin grabbed me by the waist and flipped us around. He moved much quicker, his thumb still rubbing my clit. I grabbed the sheet, I bit my lip again. I could taste blood. Thorin kissed me. I threw my head back as I came silently, Thorin not far behind. He rolled over and laid next to me.

“I didn’t realise how much I needed that, meleth-nin. Thank you.” I breathed silently.

“Meleth-nin? What does that mean?” Thorin asked me.

“Roughly the same thing as âmrâlime. My love.” 

“You speak Khuzdul?” He looked genuinely surprised.

“Well, yes. You forget that I was a diplomat once. I was required to know many languages.”

We got dressed again. Thorin fixed my hair. He was the expert, after all. I walked down before Thorin did. I settled next to the fire again. Thorin was down a little while after. He stood next to the window. Bard came back inside, shivering. Dwalin walked to Thorin.

“Thorin, we need to leave. Now.”

He was really bad at whispering. I saw Bard’s face fall, then contort into confusion. He whispered something to his son and ran out again. I had a bad feeling. Bain settled near the door. Dwalin was right. We had to leave. As soon as we possibly could. We needed weapons. We needed to reach the mountain. I turned to Thorin.

“We need to leave, as soon as we can.” I whispered, far better than Dwalin could.

He nodded and whispered to Balin. The plan moved around the company, coming, much to my relief, to Dwalin last. The house was still being watched. It was near enough to nightfall. Surely we could manage to get through undetected. Bain was keeping his eye on us. Still, not even he could stop thirteen dwarves. The plan was simple. Get out of this house and get to the armory. Getting out was easy. Finding the armory was a little harder. Getting into the armory, well, Thorin had prepared for the second story window. I was able to climb up the wall, open the window, and crawl inside. The others formed steps. I helped them get inside silently.

Nori was the first to come through. I caught him before he hit the floor and let him down. Bilbo was next. Then Thorin, Kili, Bofur, and Fili. We all started collecting weapons. Thorin was handing a load to Kili. I could see him starting to struggle. I had to tell Thorin. Or pray that Tauriel would get here quickly.

“You all right?” Thorin asked as he handed Kili another weapon.

“I can manage. Let’s just get out of here.” Kili insisted.

Thorin looked at him skeptically, but handed him the sword anyway. Kili started walking down the stairs. He wouldn’t make it. I could see it already. I started walking to help him. I was too late. He cried in pain and fell. The weapons clanged against the ground. That would have been heard everywhere. I could hear footsteps approaching. Well, this was the end of that plan. 

We were all holding weapons, prepared to defend ourselves. Not that it really mattered. We were outnumbered by the guards, all holding pikes. Kili looked up at Thorin guiltily. Thorin didn’t entirely blame him, but there was still anger in his eyes. Thorin threw down his weapons. We followed in suit. The guards grabbed all of us and started dragging us through town. Thorin looked at the guard holding my arm angrily. He growled. I kicked him. This was not the time for jealousy. 

Townspeople started following us. It wasn’t everyday they saw a company of dwarves being pulled through town.

I shivered at the cold wind. It had started snowing. The town was muttering and telling, trying to figure out what was going on. The man from the docks, the one that had tried to throw off all of the fish (and the dwarves), was running inside the mansion we were in front of. Two guards opened the doors. A rather large man that I assumed was the Master burst outside. He brought his clothes closer around him against the cold. He looked over all of us, his gaze lingering a bit longer than necessary on myself. Thorin tensed. I rested my hand on his shoulder. 

No time for jealousy, Thorin.

“What is the meaning of this?” The Master demanded.

“We caught ‘em stealing weapons, sire.” The captain of the guard said. I think his name was Braga.

“Ah. Enemies of the state, then.”

“This is a bunch of mercenaries if ever there was, sire.” The man from the docks said. “And I know who helped them in.”

He met my eyes. I held his gaze. He looked away and cowered behind his master. I loved being intimidating.

“Hold your tongue.” Dwalin said. Here we go again. This wasn’t going to end well for us, was it? “You do not know to whom you speak. This is no common criminal; this is Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror!”

The crowd murmured in amazement as Thorin stepped forward.

“We are the dwarves of Erebor.” Thorin said. The crowd was shocked. “We have come to reclaim our homeland. I remember this town and the great days of old. Fleets of boats lay at harbor, filled with silks and fine gems. This was no forsaken town on a lake! This was the center of all trade in the North.” Thorin turned to face the crowd. This was for them as much as it was for him. “I would see those days return. I would relight the great forges of the dwarves and send wealth and riches flowing once more from the halls of Erebor!”

The people cheered. The Master looked thoughtful. Thorin looked pleased with his majestic speech. A voice called out over the crowd. Bard. He came through the crowd and stood before Thorin. This was going to end one of two ways.

“Death! That is what you will bring upon us. Dragon-fire and ruin. If you awaken that beast, it will destroy us all.” Bard said. The people whispered anxiously around us. 

“You can listen to this naysayer, but I promise you this; If we succeed, all will share in the wealth of the mountain. You will have enough gold to rebuild Esgaroth ten times over!” Thorin shouted.

The people shouted and applauded. He was rather charismatic. The Master was smiling. 

“All of you! Listen to me! You must listen! Have you forgotten what happened to Dale?! Have you forgotten those who died in the firestorm?!” Bard spoke again. The people looked a little ashamed. “And for what purpose? The blind ambition of a mountain-king so riven by greed, he could not see beyond his own desire!”

Bard and Thorin stared angrily at each other. The crowd was getting louder and more rowdy. Any longer, and there would be a riot. The Master came forth.

“Now, now, we must not, any of us, be too quick to lay blame. Let us not forget that it was Girion, Lord of Dale, your ancestor, who failed to kill the beast!” The Master pointed at Bard with an accusing finger.

“It’s true, sire. We all know the story: arrow after arrow he shot, each one missing its mark.” His ever loyal servant said.

“You have no right, no right to enter that mountain!” Bard said to Thorin.

Thorin turned his head to the side and looked at Bard, his face hard to read. 

“I have the only right.” He said finally. That was the end of that. Bard backed a step away, shocked to see Thorin behave in such a way. I wasn’t. Thorin turned to face the Master. “I speak to the Master of the men of the Lake. Will you see the prophecy fulfilled? Will you share in the great wealth of our people?” The people fell silent, shivering with anticipation. “What say you?”

After a few moments of silence, the Master smiled and pointed to Thorin. “I say unto you...welcome! Welcome and thrice welcome, King Under the Mountain!”

The Master opened his arms in welcome, the crowd erupting into cheers. Bard looked on in silent anger. Thorin walked up a few steps and met Bard’s gaze, triumphant. The people were hugging. The dwarves were hugging. Thorin came down the steps and hugged me. It was nice. We had the support of Laketown. We had everything that we needed to get to the mountain and finally finish this quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, there's nothing more to say other than thank you so much for reading, commenting, leaving kudos, all of that fun stuff. <3


	12. **A Celebration**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a row with smut? I thought I warned you about this. I did. I think? I don't know. FOUR CHAPTERS AHEAD AGAIN, AW YEAH *ahem* so. I've done this. This one had like no plot. It's just the night before they leave for Erebor. So yeah. Here's a chapter that I wrote while really hyper on Monster (which I only drank to get through a very tired day) and it's being posted at *looks at non-existent watch* 12:39 am. Yeah!

There was a lot of drinking. From all of us. Even Bilbo joined in on the fun. It was entertaining, seeing a hobbit trying to drink a whole pint. Dwalin drank the rest of us under the table. Literally. At one point, he was drinking under the table because we refused to get him another round. It was nice to have a night where we didn’t have to worry. It was a time to celebrate. We were so close to being finished. These dwarves, Bilbo, Thorin, they were my family. A year ago, I never would have said that. I never would have imagined it. Now I couldn’t imagine trying to go on without them. 

When Bilbo started to collapse, I decided to call it a night. I carried him to bed. We had been given three rooms. Most of the dwarves would be on the floor passed out instead of in the beds. I found a quiet, well, semi quiet, place to stay. I wasn’t exactly sober myself. I’d forgotten what it had been like to be able to just let go, even just for a moment. I walked outside onto a small balcony, looking out over the lake and towards the Lonely Mountain. It was so beautiful. It was so close. I was dreading the end. It would be the end of so much more.

There was a knock at the door. I turned and saw Thorin. My worries melted and I smiled. I couldn’t help it. I turned back to the mountain. He came to stand next to me.

“It’s very late. You should be sleeping,” he said.

“I believe we all should. But tonight is for celebrating. The end is very near.” I responded. “If any of us should be asleep, it is you, my king.”

“Whenever you say that, you sound so patronising.”

“This time it was not my intent, I promise. Nor has it been for a long time.”

“I believe that.”

I walked back inside. Thorin followed. My worries came back. I sat on the edge of one of the beds. 

“What’s troubling you, amrâlimê?” He asked, sitting next to me. He ran his hand down my back.

“It’s nothing.” I responded.

“I pride myself on how well I have been able to read you these past months. You’re lying.”

I closed my eyes and smiled sadly. “Have you thought about the end of this journey, Thorin?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m an elf. You and I are from two very different places. Our people cannot stand each other and the fact that we have managed to be this close despite that… it’s unheard of. I fear that once we reclaim Erebor, whatever this is that you and I have will end.”

Thorin nodded. “This is true.”

“You’d be king, all eyes would look to you. What would it say to your people that you had a… a relationship with an elf? With me? They would see it as weakness.”

“They would see it the way I told them to.”

“Thorin.”

“Eril.” He put a hand under my chin and made me look at him. “I have not, in all of my life, found something quite like this.” 

Thorin kissed me. He was trying to make all of my worries go away. He did have a way with me. I felt the same way towards him. Elves had a firm belief that there was one _Faewedh _, or soul mate, as a loose translation. Some found it very early on, others never. I had certainly never expected to find mine in a dwarf, much less Thorin. His hand reached up to caress my breast. I instinctively reached to his neck to pull him closer to me. I reached the hem of his shirt.__

__“Thorin.” I whispered._ _

__“I like it when you say my name that way much more than before.” He purred._ _

__Thorin kissed my neck. He grasped at my tunic, pulling it over and tossing it to the floor. He cupped my breasts and rested his head on my shoulder. It was then that I realised he had thought the same things I had. He shared in my worries. This was his way of trying to reassure himself of what this was and less of what it was to say to me. I was relieved to have this easy intimacy. I tugged at the laces of his trousers. I refused to accept this as our last night together. I peeled away the layers of fabric, practically tearing his shirt away. I spread my hand across his muscled chest. His fingers dug into my waist._ _

__He was so tense. He was waiting. The moment he had been waiting for for so long was so close._ _

__“I love you, Eril.” He whispered._ _

__I smiled and pressed my ear against his chest, listening to his strong heart. I had done this so many nights before. It lulled me to sleep, it gave me strength. It was what I needed. “ _Le melin. Gellon ned i galar i chent gîn ned i gladhog. _” I couldn’t help but to speak in my own tongue. “I love everything about you.”___ _

____I reached up and thumbed over his beard. He was smiling. That was a rare sight. It made me smile. Thorin lowered me into the sheets. He took off my trousers, throwing them to our ever growing pile of clothes. His head dipped and took a nipple in his mouth, gently massaging my other breast with his hand. His fingers reached between my legs, sinking into my folds. I arched my back. He took a deep breath. His body pressed into mine perfectly._ _ _ _

____I traced a finger over an old battle scar. There were many now, on both of us. There were teeth marks from the Warg, slashes and cuts from swords, even angry red marks left over from the barrel riding. Thorin kissed my wrist, where the trolls had cut me. I pulled him forward and I looked into his blue eyes. I could see the love there. I hoped it was reflected in my own. I willed for him to know just how deeply I cared for him._ _ _ _

____Thorin brushed my hair from my face and smiled. He kissed my neck, slowly moving down, pressing kisses along my stomach and sides as he reached my waist. He parted my legs and kissed my inner thigh. He moved quickly to my core, licking my folds as I arched my back again. I moaned. Thorin smiled. I held onto his hair tightly. He held onto my hips as I came, waiting until my cries died down to stop._ _ _ _

____He moved back up and kissed me. I needed him. Still. He understood. Thorin pushed himself inside, groaning softly. I bit my lip and ran my hands down his back. He pushed my hips down. He was in complete control yet again. I didn’t care. He thrusted quickly, his hands on either side of my head. The pleasure started to build again as he moved faster and faster, reaching the perfect spot each time. He bit down on my collar bone. It would leave a mark. I didn’t care. Not now. Not ever. I came again, sensitive from the first. He doubled his pace as he lost all control. He groaned my name as his own pleasure overtook him._ _ _ _

____Thorin laid next to me and pulled the blankets over us. He grabbed my waist and pulled me close. His head was nuzzled by my neck. I closed my eyes. One night of restful sleep before we were both forced to face our doom. It would be nice to fall asleep with him for once, rather than running to get dressed and make our way back before anyone noticed we were gone._ _ _ _

____“What did you say earlier?” Thorin asked, his eyes closed._ _ _ _

____“Hm? Oh. Le melin. Gellon ned i galar i chent gîn ned i gladhog. Le Melin means ‘I love you’ and ‘gellon ned i galar i chent gîn ned i gladhog’ is something along the lines of ‘I love the way your eyes shine’. Both of which are very true, by the way.” I responded._ _ _ _

____“You deserve better.” He said softly._ _ _ _

____“So do you. It would seem that makes us a match.”_ _ _ _

____He chuckled. “So it would seem. Come. Sleep. We have a hard day ahead of us.”_ _ _ _

____Yeah, we did indeed._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations in the chapter, friends. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, more to come later today, I promise. Can you believe that I started posting this a very short time ago? I thought it had been like two weeks. Nope. It's been like less than one.


	13. Leaving for Erebor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes, Erebor. The Lonely Mountain. The beginning of the end, really. If you think about it. I wonder what will happen? Oh wait. I already know, I'm writing chapter 16. Enjoy this chapter, guys. You may get another today, you may not. I haven't decided yet. It really all depends on what I finish today. If I do post again today, it'll be around 5-6 pm EST. If not, it'll be early tomorrow. Like 12am early.

I woke up, still wrapped in Thorin’s arms. He had repositioned us in the night. He was now looking out the window, staring at the mountain and resting against the headboard. The morning light was shining on his face. He looked very handsome. I could picture the two of us together. Sitting by a fire in the halls of Erebor. Ruling over the people together. A life that could never happen because of who he was. Who I was. I closed my eyes, desperate for just a little while longer in this moment. Still, it had to end. I pushed myself up.

“You’re awake.” Thorin said. He grabbed my waist to keep me in bed.

“Yes, generally when one starts moving, that’s what it means.” I grumbled.

“Not a morning person then. Glad to know.”

“Not on this particular morning.”

“I thought elves were agreeable.”

“And how many elves have you seen in the morning?”

“Point taken.”

I leaned into Thorin’s chest. What we had talked about last night still existed. There was still the problem of what we would do once this was over. I was just… not ready to talk about it now.

I looked outside. Kili was up and limping through the street. I shook my head of sleep. I had to tell him. Thorin needed to know. I stood and started pulling on my clothes. What was the best way to tell him? Straight out, or gently? There was simply no way to know. I should’ve said something much sooner. Thorin walked and grabbed me by my waist, making me jump. If I didn’t say something now, I never would.

“Thorin we need to talk.”

“Is this about what you mentioned last night?”

“No, that talk will come later. Hopefully, much, much later. No, this is about Kili.”

“Yes, I worry about him.”

“As you should. He cannot come with us.”

“What?” Thorin backed away. “What are you asking of me?”

I sighed. What had I expected? “There is no easy way to say this, Thorin. You’ve seen how he’s been effected by that wound. That arrow… it’s more dangerous than you realised.”

“What does that mean?”

“Poison. A poison that does have a cure, but not one that I have. I sent word-”

“Poisoned? And you thought to tell me this now? Not sooner?”

“I apologise, Thorin, I knew you would ask for me to help him and there was only one person who could. I do not know where she is, but she will by now know where he is. If Kili comes with us, he will die. If he stays, he might live.”

Thorin backed away. He looked at me thoughtfully and nodded.

“Then here he shall stay.”

He thanked me for telling him and started to get dressed. I was happy to see that he gratefully accepted my help. I had thought he would turn away. I think he saw my hardship in telling him. I knew what this meant to all those in the line of Durin. Taking back Erebor was something these three had dreamed of. And I was asking him to take that away. It was not an easy task, not something that Thorin took lightly. Nor did I. Thorin and I walked outside. Well, the the entrance hall. Most of us were gathered there. Thorin nodded to Balin. There was a collective breath taken as we walked outside. The people were cheering for us. 

We walked through the streets to the docks. There was a boat waiting for us. It had been loaded with supplies and everything that we could possibly need. Kili limped to us. I looked to Thorin. He looked at the ground. He knew what he had to do. Bilbo was making a count.

“You do know we’re one short; where’s Bofur?” Bilbo asked.

“If he’s not here, we leave him behind.” Thorin said easily.

Seemed fair.

“We have to, if we’re to find the door before nightfall. We can risk no more delays.” Balin nodded.

We moved along the pier. The Master had made sure that we were all given armor and regal clothing. Apparently, there had even been some elven armour from his dealings with Thranduil. I had pulled it on gratefully, but left behind the helmet. I hate helmets. They got in the way. Everyone was on the boat now. Everyone but Kili and Bofur. Thorin stepped forward and stopped Kili.

“Not you. We must travel with speed, you will slow us down.” Thorin said.

Kili smiled hesitantly. “What are you talking about? I’m coming with you.”

“No.”

Fili turned. I shook my head. There was nothing that he could do now. This had to happen. Thorin looked like he was in pain. He didn’t want to do this, he had to. Kili was in shock and agony and looked like he wanted to faint.

“I’m going to be there when that door is opened, when we first look upon the halls of our fathers, Thorin.”

“Kili, stay here. Rest. Join us when you’re healed.”

Thorin laid his hand on Kili’s shoulder and smiled at him, but Kili looked shocked and betrayed. Thorin walked farther onto the boat. Oin got off, insisting that he would help heal Kili. Fili moved through the dwarves to stand next to his uncle. He looked even more betrayed than Kili did. There was nothing that we could do. There was nothing I could do.

“Uncle, we grew up on tales of the mountain. Tales you told us. You can’t take that away from him!” Fili said.

“Fili.” Thorin warned.

“I will carry him, if I must!”

“One day you will be king, and you will understand. I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one dwarf, not even my own kin.” Fili stepped out of the boat. Thorin tried to stop him. “Fili, don’t be a fool. You belong with the Company.”

“I belong with my brother.”

Thorin nodded, somewhat reluctantly. I took his hand. He looked away and moved to the front of the boat. I sighed and sat down. The people of Laketown started to play their instruments. The people cheered, the Master climbed up to a raised platform. I tuned out his speech. I didn’t care. He smiled and waved as the boat pulled into the canal. The others were waving, bowing, and smiling back at the people. My mind was on other things: Kili, Thorin, the mountain. Smaug. The closer that we got to Erebor, the greater my sense of dread got. There was no way that Smaug had simply died. No, he had just gotten too used to no one bothering him.

There was no room for me to row. I was simply too tall. Thorin was at the bow of the boat, facing the mountain. Our new armour shined. I stepped forward and stood next to him. He looked at me for a moment.

“We’re so close. Can you hear the call of the mountain?” He asked.

“I can hear the people chanting your name when you finally bring them home again.” I said. “I can see the parades. I can hear the songs they will sing. The mountain calls only to you directly.”

He smiled. I rested my hand on his shoulder. He covered it with his own.

~-~-~-~-~-

The climb up the mountain was difficult. The wind buffeted, the snow fell, it was not something I would want to do alone. I was thankful for Thorin by my side. Eventually, we reached an embankment overlooking a valley. I recognised it instantly. 

My vision was clouded by images of fire, smoke, and dwarves running. Thranduil running away. Me running down to Dale. The families I helped. I closed my eyes and took a step back. Balin was next to me in an instant with a steady smile. Bilbo took my hand. Dale was in ruins. Thorin looked back at me sympathetically. I had no idea why. This was his home, after all. I should have been there for him, not the other way around. Not here. Not now.

“What is this place?” Bilbo asked.

“It was once the city of Dale. Now it is a ruin. The desolation of Smaug.” Balin said sadly.

Thorin shook his head and started walking off. “The sun will soon reach midday; let’s find the hidden door into the mountain before it sets. This way!”

“Wait...is this the overlook? Gandalf said to meet him here. On no account were we-” Bilbo said.

Thorin rounded on him. “Do you see him? We have no time to wait upon the wizard. We’re on our own.” He continued on his way. “Come.”

He was very demanding. Nice. 

We all followed him. My mind was on Kili. And Thorin. And.... everything, really. All the things that were happening, that would happen. I kept walking forward next to Thorin. I felt a need to be next to him. I couldn’t possibly leave him. Just the mere thought of it all those months ago had nearly killed me, and that was before I had realised what I felt for him. I knew for certain what it would do. I wouldn’t just die. I would become like Thranduil. I would be distant. I would be a shadow of who I was now. That somehow seemed worse. Even if I was just with him behind everything else, never in public, I would take it. I would have to take it.

Thorin and I occasionally spoke, often just little jokes. Just something to keep the mood light, considering what was happening.

We reached the base of the mountain as the sun started to fall. We reached the side of the mountain when it was halfway down. Durin’s day was almost over. Thorin stood, leaning on his sword and panting heavily.

“Having trouble there, _my liege_?” I smiled, completely fine.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Do you have a problem with my tone, _lord_?”

He looked like he wanted to kill me.

“Anything?” Thorin asked in a desperate attempt to get me to stop.

Did he know me at all?

“Nothing!” Dwalin responded.

“If the map is true, the hidden door lies directly above us.”

Bilbo pointed to a large dwarven statue that we all had missed. My excuse was constantly messing with Thorin to try and make him smile. What was his?

“Up here!” Bilbo said.

“You have keen eyes, Master Baggins.” Thorin clapped him on the back.

The steps were rather steep. I climbed up to the best of my ability. I jumped to the next step and started to slip. Thorin caught my hand and pulled me up.

“You finally return the favour.” I said.

“I thought I had done that already.” Thorin leaned forward. “Many times.” He whispered.

“Careful, Thorin. You’re getting rather bold with your affections.” I whispered back. 

He smirked and helped me to my feet, giving me a small kiss before the others came into the clearing.

“Very bold indeed.” He agreed with a wink. 

Winks were weird. I couldn’t help but mirror his smile. After that, it was smooth sailing. Pretty much. It turned more into trying to find the hidden door.

“This must be it. The hidden door.” Thorin was smiling like a fool. It was a nice sight. He held up the key as the others came up to the clearing, “Let all those who doubted us rue this day!”

The others cheered. I joined in.

“Right. We have our key, which means that somewhere, there is a keyhole.” Dwalin said.

This sounded like another case of stating the obvious. Dwalin started looking through the walls with his fingers, searching for the keyhole. He wouldn’t find it that way. Thorin wasn’t being very helpful, he was just looking out at the setting sun. Maybe he was thinking of a new plan.

“The last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole.”

More stating of obvious things? What was going on around here?

Thorin walked to the wall and tried to figure out what it meant. There was light hitting the wall, but not in the way I had been expecting. I thought about the prophecy again. I started pacing as Nori began trying to find where it was by tapping the wall with a spoon. Balin was shaking his head. There was too much noise, I couldn’t think straight. Elrond had said a thrush. When a thrush knocks, the last light. Well, the last light was almost here. Where was the thrush?

“We’re losing the light.”

The more desperate he got, the more he stated the obvious. How intriguing. It was kind of adorable.

Stop. Focus.

Dwalin and Nori were having no luck, Thorin was getting more frustrated.

“Break it down!”

Surely he knew that wouldn’t work.

“It’s no good! The door’s sealed. It can’t be opened by force. Powerful magic on it.”

They all stopped. Their weapons dropped with the sun.

“No!” Thorin stumbled forward. He re-examined the old map, reading the old runes aloud. “The last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole. That’s what it says.” He held up the map and dropped his arms again. “What did we miss?” He walked to me. He had tears in his eyes. What did we miss?” He asked again.

I didn’t know what to say. There was nothing to say.

“We’ve lost the light. There’s no more to be done. We had but one chance.” Balin said sadly.

The dwarves bowed their heads. They turned back to the stairs. Bilbo and I remained. Perhaps it was because we didn’t have as much riding on this. Well, I had some, but Bilbo had nothing. He had a home. He still had hope. Balin was the last to walk away. I looked to Thorin. He was looking at the darkened sky. I went to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He held up his key and looked at it. It was all he had left of home. 

He dropped it to the ground and walked away.

“Thorin...you can’t give up now.” Bilbo said.

“Thorin, please.” I sounded so desperate.

Thorin threw the map at Bilbo’s chest and walked away. The dwarves descended down the stairs. Bilbo and I stayed. 

“All right, Bilbo. Let’s talk through this.” I said, pacing. “Stand by the gray stone.”

“Got it.” Bilbo moved to the gray wall. “When the thrush knocks.”

“Thrush… where’s the bloody thrush, then?”

“The setting sun...and the last light of Durin’s Day will shine. Hmm. The last light. Last light…”

The clouds moved away to show the moon. No. It couldn’t be. There was… no. But it made sense. Cirth Ithil. Moon runes. Moon light. There was a noise. Bilbo pointed excitedly to a thrush hitting a snail against the wall. The moonlight hit the wall. Bilbo and I laughed in relief.

“The last light!” We said together.

There it was! The keyhole in the rock! Bilbo gasped in surprise. He started yelling for the dwarves. I hoped they were still within earshot. There was no sign of them.

“The keyhole! Come back! Come back! It’s the light of the moon, the last moon of autumn! Ha ha ha!” He shouted.

“Bilbo, the key!” I looked to the ground.

“Where’s the- Where’s the key? Where’s the- it was here…but it was here, it was here! It was just…”

We looked frantically around the ground. It had to be here. Thorin had dropped it and I knew that it hadn’t fallen. Come on, come on. This had to be one break. Please, just this once. I heard a clang. I looked up. Bilbo’s foot had hit it. It was flying from the clearing. I moved towards it. There was no way I would reach it in time. A boot stepped on the string before it could fall over the side. Thorin. He slowly reached down and picked it up. He examined it in the moonlight. The other dwarves weren’t far behind. We were all smiling in relief. Relief at finding the door and the key not tragically falling over the side of the mountain.

Thorin inserted the key into the keyhole and turned it. I could hear the mechanisms turning behind the rock. Thorin rested his hand on the door and closed his eyes. He let out a deep breath and pushed the wall. The unseen door opened. The door opened into a tunnel going into the mountain. Thorin stood on the threshold, afraid to enter.

“Erebor.” His voice was weak.

“Thorin…” Balin choked.

Thorin put a hand on Balin’s shoulder before stepping into the mountain.

“I know these walls…these walls, this stone. You remember it, Balin. Chambers filled with golden light.” He ran his hand over the walls, lost in memories.

Balin stepped inside. “I remember.”

I entered next. Thorin grabbed me by the waist and lifted me up. I forgot how strong he was. He twirled me around in his excitement, not caring who saw us. They didn’t care, either way. They were just as excited. Nori pointed to a carving in the wall above the door. It was the throne of Erebor, the Arkenstone above it, rays of light extending from all directions.

“Herein lies the seventh kingdom of Durin’s Folk. May the heart of the mountain unite all dwarves in defense of this home.” I read.

Bilbo looked at the carving in awe and curiosity.

“The throne of the king.” Balin explained.

“Oh. And what’s that above it?” Bilbo asked.

“The Arkenstone.”

“Arkenstone….And what’s that?”

“That, Master Burglar, is why you are here.” Thorin responded.

We all looked to Bilbo. He looked at us in awe, but he looked determined. Determined to do this and to finish it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahaha. Did you enjoy? You should wait until the next chapter. Oh wait....
> 
> I may be feeling a little evil today I apologise. Thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. It's really awesome that people like my writing. Thank you so much. <3<3<3 :D


	14. The Curse of the Arkenstone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I was able to watch TBOFA. Ahhhhh Thorin's such an idiot. Anyway, enjoy this part, guys. It only goes one direction on a hill from here. And then the opposite direction. Hmmmmmmmmm

Balin and Bilbo had walked farther in to discuss what Bilbo would be looking for. Thorin was walking around. Well, pacing. I convinced him to go outside. He continued pacing. I couldn’t tell if it was anxiety over Bilbo or the stone. I had met Thror once. It had not been pleasant. In fact, he had acted very similarly to the way that Thorin was acting now until the Arkenstone was in his sight. I didn’t like it. It was more worrying than the dragon, which was saying something. I had no way to help him, nor did I want to calm him down. I was scared. I was scared of what he was becoming. Of him becoming his grandfather.

I sat outside and crossed my legs. I looked out towards Mirkwood. I wondered if they were still celebrating. Had they stopped? How had Thranduil reacted when he learned we were gone? That I was gone? He had to be furious.

Balin sat next to me, pulling me from my thoughts.

“We’re so close to the end.” I said.

“Indeed. And that means Thorin is close to reclaiming his throne.” Balin responded.

“Yes.”

“He’ll be expected to find a queen.”

“That would be the proper thing to do, yes.”

“I do not think anyone amongst this company would complain about his choice.”

“Balin-”

He held up his hand. “I know. I may be old, but I can recognise two people in love still.”

“I guarantee that I’m older.” I joked.

“How old are you?”

I thought back. I had lost track myself. Before the war, after… “Around 3,654, I think. Give or take a couple hundred years.”

“That is much older than me. Than any of us.”

“Well, elves don’t age.”

“I can only imagine what your eyes have seen.”

“Far too much. I sometimes wonder if I have lived too long.”

“I wonder if I have lived long enough. I wish to see my brother married. I wish to see grandchildren.”

“You will. One day.”

“Can elves see the future as well?”

“Some of us.” I chuckled. “I am not one of them. Elrond is. I guarantee he knew long before we arrived what we were planning. Though he would have said that the future is not certain.”

“You are nothing like I expected.”

“And neither as you. As far as dwarves go, you are one of the better ones.”

“Same to you.”

He smiled and left me to be by myself. I think that was for the best. This was the end. I could feel it. Not the end entirely, just almost. I looked at Thorin. At least he had stopped pacing. He saw me looking and walked over. He sat next to me. I held onto his hand. I didn’t want to be scared of what he would become. I didn’t want to see him be someone that I couldn’t love. I could imagine it now. Not now when we were so close. When we had gotten so close to each other.

“What’s on your mind, elf?”

“Nothing much, dwarf.” I smiled. “What about you? Here we are, at the base of your palace.”

“Finally. That’s the only word I can think of.”

“Of course.”

“Arkenstone.”

“Hmm.”

“You must have seen it when you came here. It’s beauty.”

“I did. Thror made sure that all who visited saw it.”

I closed my eyes and prayed to all the gods I could think of that he wasn’t already in its pull. That I wasn’t already losing him.

“Distract me.” I said. “Tell me a story from when you were younger. You’re 196 now, aren’t you?”

“195.”

“195. Still so young.”

“Only an elf would think that to be young.”

“True. Still. You must have some interesting stories. Tell me some. Go on, don’t be shy.”

“A story for a story. Deal?”

“Deal. You first.”

Thorin smiled. That was how we spent the first half hour. Thorin particularly enjoyed my story about Legolas when he was still young and he stole Thranduil’s moose. It was fun and easy, like it had been before. Still, it had to end. Balin had started pacing, which made Thorin walk up to him. I walked over to them.

“Bilbo is taking an awfully long time. You don’t think-” Balin began.

“He’s fine.” Thorin insisted.

An orange glow came out from the door. Fire. I could feel it.

“What was that about Bilbo being fine?” I said.

“Give him more time.” Thorin turned to me.

I couldn’t see what was in his eyes. But I knew that I didn’t like it.

“Trying to do what? To be killed?” Balin argued.

“You’re afraid.”

“Yes, I’m afraid. I fear for YOU. A sickness lies upon that treasure hoard, a sickness that drove your grandfather mad.”

“I am not my grandfather.”

“You’re not yourself. The Thorin I know would not hesitate to go in there-” I began.

“The Thorin you know? And how long have you known me, _elf _? I will not risk this quest for the life of one burglar.”__

__I took a step back. He was patronising me, but not in the same way that we did as a joke. This was serious. He was looking at me the way he had the night we had first met. He turned away from me. Was it pride? Or shame? I was betting on the former._ _

__“Bilbo. His name is Bilbo.” Balin said, his disgust evident. He walked away._ _

__“You’re right, Thorin.” I said quietly. Not a whisper, just quietly. “I don’t know you at all. My apologies for believing even for an instant that I did.”_ _

__I walked to the secret steps and moved down a couple. I could feel Thorin’s gaze on my back. I didn’t care. I just had to get away. I had hoped that we were past whatever that was. Clearly I had been wrong. It hurt. It hurt worse than the troll’s cut, worse than the Warg bite. It was unlike any pain I had felt before. It was like someone had torn my heart from my chest with a spoon. I clutched my chest and leaned heavily against the steps._ _

__This was what it felt like to be in love? I didn’t want it. I covered my mouth to stop a sob from coming out and being heard. I started shaking from grief. I slid down the great step and pulled my knees to my chest. This was not how it was supposed to be, was it? The worst had come true. Thorin was on his way to leaving us._ _

__I eventually was able to come back up the steps. Thorin started to walk to me. Balin stopped him. I ignored them both and looked out over the clearing. Would it be too late to leave now? No. I had made a promise. I intended to keep it, despite how angry our leader made me. Thorin walked over to me._ _

__“You’re right.” He whispered._ _

__“Really? It’s almost like that’s happened more than once here.” I responded without looking to him._ _

__“Our burg- Bilbo has been gone for far too long. Come. We’re going to save him.”_ _

__“How long did it take for Balin to convince you to leave?”_ _

__I pushed past Thorin. I wasn’t going to just forgive him. I couldn’t just forgive him. Who could? Crazy people in love. In love I may have been, but crazy I probably was not. We ran into the mountain side by side with our weapons drawn. We reached an overhang. Thorin breathed heavily when he saw all the gold. I looked at him with disgust. This was not the dwarf I had grown to love. Bilbo ran up to us. I looked to him and my expression changed._ _

__“You’re alive!” I smiled._ _

__“Not for much longer!”_ _

__“Did you find the Arkenstone?” Thorin asked._ _

__Not even a hello._ _

__“The dragon’s coming!”_ _

__“The Arkenstone!”_ _

__Thorin blocked Bilbo’s way. I looked at him angrily. There was no time for this._ _

__“Did you find it?” He asked more quietly._ _

__Bilbo looked shocked and hesitated. “No. We have to get out.”_ _

__Bilbo tried to enter the tunnel. Thorin swung his sword across it, blocking the entrance. He pressed the blade against Bilbo. Thorin moved the sword so the tip was pressed against his chest. I put a hand on his arm._ _

__“Thorin.” I said his name once. It was firm and angry._ _

__Bilbo had fear in his eyes. He looked from me to Thorin. There was a sound to the side. Smaug. He moved his sword to that way. I threw Bilbo through the entrance as Smaug recognised Thorin and snarled. Smaug was more terrifying than I remembered. Of course, then I hadn’t seen him up close like this. The rest of the dwarves came through with their weapons drawn. Smaug’s neck burned orange with fire._ _

__“You will burn!” Smaug declared._ _

__I pushed two of the dwarves off of the staircase, the others following in suit. We tumbled down a pile of treasure and landed near the entrance to another tunnel. We ran into it. Thorin was looking at the treasure. I muttered in Sindarin. Smaug breathed out more fire. I grabbed him by his coat and pulled him through the door. His coat was still on fire. I didn’t care. Let him burn. He fell to the ground and rolled to extinguish the flames. He jumped back up. We didn’t look at each other._ _

__“Come on.” He said._ _

__Smaug roared. We ran. We followed Thorin and Balin through the tunnels. We reached a bridge that overlooked a chasm. Thorin raised his hand._ _

__“Shh. Shh.” Thorin said._ _

__“Quiet.” Dori said._ _

__Thorin peered around the edge of the tunnel, looking for Smaug._ _

__“We’ve given him the slip.” Dori whispered,_ _

__“No, he’s too cunning for that.” Dwalin responded, actually quiet for once._ _

__“So where to now?” Bilbo asked._ _

__“The western guardroom. There may be a way out.” Thorin responded._ _

__“It’s too high. There’s no chance that way.” Balin argued._ _

__“It’s our only chance. We have to try.”_ _

__We tiptoed across the bridge. We all kept an eye out for Smaug, any sign. A coin fell and rang loudly. We all looked to Bilbo. He checked his jacket. Another coin fell. Smaug was crawling above us, the coins falling from his hide. He hadn’t seen us yet. Thorin motioned for us to keep moving. I was very reluctant to follow him now. How could I after all that he had done? There was simply no way. Was there?_ _

__We had to run. Thorin tried to take my hand. I pushed him away and stayed near Bilbo. There was no way I was going to let Thorin anywhere near Bilbo again after the display I had seen. I certainly wasn’t going to leave Bilbo alone again. Thorin tried not to look hurt. I tried not to care._ _

__We ran through a hall and emerged in the western guardroom._ _

__“Stay close.” Thorin said._ _

__There were corpses all around. Covered in dust and cobwebs, rotted down to the bone. I’m not sure what we had expected. There were stones blocking the exit. At least we would die together and in the mountain. We had reached our goal, had we not? I sighed. Of course we would die in the past._ _

__“The last of our kin. They must have come here, hoping beyond hope. We could try to reach the Mines. We might last a few days.” Balin said._ _

__“No. I will not die like this. Cowering, clawing for breath. We make for the forges.” Thorin said._ _

__“He’ll see us, sure as death.” Dwalin pointed out._ _

__“Not if we split up.”_ _

__“Thorin, we’ll never make it.” Balin said._ _

__“Some of us might. Lead him to the forges. We kill the dragon. If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together.” Thorin’s gaze was on me. His eyes burned. I continued to ignore him._ _

__We split into four groups. I stuck with Bilbo, who wanted to travel with Thorin. I didn’t trust Thorin anymore. I couldn’t. That hurt worse than anything else he had done. I had wanted him to be the one person that I trusted more than anyone in the world. Of course he wouldn’t be. He was a dwarf, after all, and I was an elf. We were doomed from the start. I should have been thanking Thorin for showing me that. For showing me that I was right when I first had my doubts. This was the end for us. It had to be._ _

__I shook my head and listened to his plan. It wasn’t a bad plan. A part of me was hoping I would get caught in the dragonfire so I wouldn’t have to feel this pain anymore. It was like hot knives were being dragged across my skin every time that I looked at Thorin. I pushed the feeling down. I allowed myself to become distant. It was the only way to make the pain go away. It was the only way to forget Thorin Oakenshield and the false love that we had had._ _


	15. Then We Shall All Burn Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the end. Can you feel it? I'm almost on the last couple of chapters. Do you guys want a sequel? Let me know in the comments if you do, because I kinda have to know _before_ I write the last (second to last?) chapter because of the ending. So please, please comment and let me know because I'm pretty sure that I'm almost there. Thanks guys!

Thorin, Bilbo, Balin and I ran out onto the bridge from earlier. Thorin ordered for us to stay close and lead us out. A booming sound came from behind us, Smaug not far behind. 

“Flee, flee! Run for your lives! There is nowhere to hide.” He laughed.

He came for us, but turned to another direction as Dori, Ori, and Bombur ran and made noise to distract him. I thanked them silently as we continued across the bridge. Smaug went on a wild goose chase, trying to catch all of the dwarves. My group managed to make it into a tunnel. I hoped the others did as well. They were my family, I would be devastated if they died. I pushed Bilbo forward. He was shaking. Balin took a turn. Thorin continued forward, Bilbo following. I followed Thorin, still against my better judgement. I couldn’t leave him alone.

“It’s this way! This way! Come on!” Balin called.

“Thorin!” Bilbo shouted.

Thorin turned around. Smaug was so close. There was nothing we could do. Bilbo turned to come back to us. Balin grabbed him

“Go! I’ll take care of Thorin!” I yelled, pushing Thorin forward.

“You’ll take care of me?” He said with a smile as we ran.

“Now’s not the time, Thorin! Jump!” I pushed Thorin into a deep pit.

I would be lying if I said it didn’t feel good. Does that make me a terrible person? Or just a terrible partner? Hm. Oh well. There was a dragon chasing me. Not the time.

He did catch the chain in the centre. I saw Smaug approaching. I took a few steps back and jumped down, Smaug following us. Thorin caught my hand.

“I was fine, you know.” I said as we started falling.

“I know.”

“Seriously not the time! Can we discuss this when fire drake isn’t going to kill us?”

“Well, if he kills us we’ll never talk.”

“Then so be it! Focus on a controlled descent!”

Smaug snapped at us. I saw Dwalin at the mouth of the pit. It seemed he was calling our names. He swung his axe at the machinery. The chain stopped. I was thankful for Thorin holding onto my hand then, as I was almost thrown into the pit. I was grasping onto the sleeve of his shirt for dear life. Another chain started to fall and we flew up. The bucket almost hit Smaug’s head. Smaug roared and grabbed the end of the chain we were on. We again abruptly stopped. Smaug tugged and the machinery fell. Thorin pushed me off of the bucket and onto Smaug. I took a second to gain my balance. There was another chain. I jumped. Thorin landed on Smaug’s mouth. He managed to get to his top jaw as Smaug opened his mouth the eat Thorin. I held out my hand to Thorin.

“Thorin, take my hand.” I said. Thorin looked at me. “Please, _meleth-nin_.”

Thorin nodded and jumped. I held onto him. The machinery from before fell onto Smaug’s head. Nori hit something else and the chain shot up. Smaug blew fire up at us. We reached the top before it reached us. I pulled Thorin closer to me as the fire roared past us.

We were in a similar position that we had been in more than once. Thorin was again on top of me, hands on either side of my head, hair cascaded around us. He leaned down. Only this time, I pushed him off of me and stood. Thorin looked at me for a moment. There really wasn’t time for this.

“Go! Go!” He shouted.

We ran through tall, stone pillars and joined the others. There were several massive furnaces, each towering over us.

“The plan’s not going to work. These furnaces are stone cold.” Dwalin said.

“He’s right; there’s no fire hot enough to set them ablaze.” Balin agreed.

They weren’t wrong. But they weren’t right either. Thorin turned back to the pit.

“Have we not? I did not look to see you so easily outwitted!” Thorin smiled.

Smaug slowly emerged from the pit. Thorin taunted him. Any other time, I would have tried to stop him. This was a special case. There was no point, really.

“You have grown slow and fat in your dotage.” Thorin said. Smaug snarled. “ _Slug_.”

Smaug ran forward, snarling. Thorin stayed where he was. I grumbled and pulled him behind a pillar as Smaug got closer.

“Take cover. Go!” I yelled.

Smaug unleashed his flame. I could feel the heat. I could feel Thorin pressed against me. No. Stop it. The fire rushed past us and reached the furnaces. As it rushed past us, I could feel it burning my skin. Smaug stopped. Fire came out from the bottom of the furnaces. They glowed and started working. I couldn’t help myself. I kissed Thorin. Then stopped myself. And ran. Smaug was trapped behind some kind of latticework. They were bending under his strength.

“Bombur! Get those bellows working. Go!” Thorin ordered.

“Alright!” Bombur ran and leapt onto a chain next to one of the forges. 

“Bilbo! Up there, on my mark, pull that lever.” Thorin pointed Bilbo to a lever very high up. Bilbo nodded and ran towards it. “Balin, can you still make some flash-flame?” 

“Aye. It’ll only take a jiffy.” Balin grabbed some of the other dwarves. “Come on!”

“We don’t have a jiffy.” Dwalin said as the latticework creaked.

The latticework finally gave way and Smaug burst in, fire burning and his growls filling the air. Bilbo continued up the steps. 

“Eril, go with Balin and the others.” Thorin said in his King voice.

“If you think I’m leaving you here alone, then you don’t know me at all.” I said in a much better King voice.

He nodded, clearly upset but not really willing to make a fight of it. Bilbo reached the lever, Smaug following him. Smaug raised his head to see Bilbo. Then he saw us. Thorin stood his ground as Smaug snarled.

“Now!” He yelled.

Bilbo jumped into the air and pulled down the lever as Smaug lunged towards us. Huge jets of water burst out of carved faces in the wall behind Bilbo and slammed into Smaug. He was knocked off balance and the fire he was about to blow at us was quenched. It was quite a sight to see him sliding to the side. Smaug flapped his wings and began thrashing about madly. The jets of water caused various rope conveyor belts to start operating. Bombur was still pumping the bellows. Smaug started crawling toward Thorin and I. I saw Gloin and Bifur on the conveyor belt. Bilbo made his way to us. 

There was a flash of blue light. The flash-flame. Smaug wasn’t even fazed by them. Thorin was starting to get a little nervous. Still, we stood our ground. Gloin cut the rope of the conveyor belt, dropping tons of rocks on Smaug. He fell to the ground, roaring. Thorin ran to one of the furnaces and pulled on a chain. A gate opened and the gold flowed out of the furnaces. Smaug thrashed about in the ropes, knocking over Gloin and Bifur. Thorin started running, me close behind him.

“Lead him to the Gallery of the Kings!” Thorin shouted. I stayed by Thorin. “Go, Eril, follow them.”

“You’re not my king. I’m not leaving.” I insisted.

“Yes, you are. _Go!_ ” He pushed me away towards the other.

He had a wheelbarrow. I took a few slow steps back and turned into a full run. I ran into Bilbo.

“Keep going, Bilbo! Run!” Thorin yelled.

“Don’t die.” I whispered. 

Smaug was pursuing us. We leapt onto a large stone slide before Smaug grabbed us. He did, however, slide after us, demolishing structures with his wings. We were taken next to the Gallery of the Kings. Smaug was still right behind us. A doorway exploded as Smaug jumped through it. Bilbo was knocked to the ground by a falling banner. I slid and crawled under with him, under the hopes of being able to help him out. Smaug leapt to the floor and started shouting.

“You think you could deceive me, Barrel-rider?” Smaug yelled. Bilbo peaked out. I pulled him back. “You have come from Laketown. There is- is some sort of scheme hatched between these filthy dwarves and those miserable cup-trading Lakemen. Those sniveling cowards with their longbows and black arrows!” His voice cracked in fear. “Perhaps it is time I paid them a visit.”

“Oh, no.” Bilbo scrambled out from under the banner. I couldn’t stop him. “This isn’t their fault! Wait! You cannot go to Laketown.”

No.

“You care about them, do you? Good. Then you can watch them die.”

No. Please, no. They didn’t deserve this.

“Here, you witless worm!” Thorin’s voice boomed through the halls.

Smaug turned and entered the gallery of king, snarling and squinting in anger. 

“You.” Smaug snarled.

“I am taking back what you stole.” Thorin snarled right back.

“You would take nothing from me, Dwarf. I laid low your warriors of old. I instilled terror in the hearts of men. I am King Under the Mountain.” 

No. Thorin. No. Not Thorin. Anyone but him. Don’t kill Thorin.

“This is not your kingdom. These are dwarf lands, this is dwarf gold, and we will have our revenge.”

Smaug’s neck and chest started to glow orange as he prepared to breath fire. Thorin yelled something I couldn’t hear in Khuzdul. Thorin yanked on a rope, breaking a pin on the stone. More pins and chains started to come undone. The mold fell apart to reveal a massive statue of Thror, made of gold. Thorin swung away on a rope. He landed on the ground. I ran after him and pulled him into a hug. Thorin held onto me, his eyes still on Smaug.

Smaug was distracted by the shining statue. It was even larger than him. His mouth was open in greed. It started to warp and exploded into liquid. The gold was still molten. The rest of the statue followed, exploding and cascading over Smaug. He roared as he was smothered in the gold, encased several feet into the hall. It seemed that Smaug was gone.

We had no luck. How could I have forgotten that?

Smaug burst out, covered in gold, screaming in anger and pain. “Ahh! Revenge?! Revenge! I will show you REVENGE!”

He was going for Laketown. We knew that. Bilbo looked out where Smaug had flown off.

“What have we done?” He asked quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel? Maybe? If not, the ending will change dramatically! Let me know. Thanks for reading. :D


	16. The Battle of Five Armies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is almost done. I mean, there are two versions of it. The sequel version and the non-sequel version. Let me know, guys. I may just finish posting this story today.

We ran out of the mountain to one of the old watch towers. Smaug was already over Laketown, his destruction raining out over them. I leaned heavily over the stones.

“Those poor souls.” Balin shook his head. 

We all knew too well of the perils of dragonfire. We had felt i’s heat, we had seen its destruction. I would have wished it on my worst enemy. Yet, there they were. And where was Thorin, the great king who brought it upon them? Staring towards Erebor. Where was the Thorin Oakenshield that I had known at the beginning of this journey? Where was the Thorin that I had allowed myself to fall in love with? I feared that he was gone forever. I would not weep for this new Thorin. I would instead try to reclaim my Thorin.

I walked to him as the others watched Laketown. It was not a sight that I wished to see any longer.

“Thorin, what are you looking at?” I asked stupidly. It was the only way I could think of to get to him.

“Is it not beautiful, Eril? The work of my people.” He smiled. “My kingdom.”

“I have never claimed to deny to beauty of Erebor. Nor its wealth.”

“I know you have not. You have stood loyally by me. Despite your lineage.”

I closed my eyes. That was not the way that he used to talk to me. Was there no way through to him? I feared that he was gone, gone from me forever. What else could I do?

There was a sound echoing throughout the land. I turned back to Laketown. Thorin refused to look away from Erebor.

“What was that? What happened?” A dwarf asked.

“It fell. I saw it.” Bilbo said. “It’s dead. Smaug is dead!”

Thorin looked happy. Not for the people, I knew. Not that they would be safe. No, the usurper was dead. That was what he cared about now. That was all he could care about. The sickness had reached him, far too soon. Far too soon...

“By my beard! I think he’s right! Look there! The ravens of Erebor are returning to the mountain!” Gloin exclaimed.

Sure enough- they were coming back. 

“Aye - Word will spread. Before long every soul in Middle-earth will know - The dragon is dead!”

As the others celebrated, Thorin hurried to the gates of Erebor. I sighed and moved to follow. Slowly, the others came as well. I could see the Bilbo and Balin were keeping the same close eye on Thorin that I was. We knew that there was something wrong. The Thorin Oakenshield that any of us would have gladly followed to our deaths was now gone, or was at least fading very fast. I dreaded to think of what would happen if he continued down this path.

~-~-~-~-~-

It had been days since we reclaimed Erebor. Thorin didn’t get any worse, but I had lost hope of him getting any better. Occasionally, he would look to me and I would catch a glimpse of the love he had once held, or I hoped he had held, for me, but it was always gone quickly. Too quickly. I shook my head. He didn’t rest. He didn’t eat. He just searched for the Arkenstone. I feared he would never find it. I actually was more afraid that he would. I had met Thror and the way that he had looked at that stone… it was the way that one would look at a lover, only more possessive.

It was Bilbo who heard the others coming up the mountain. He ran to them, with the intention of making them leave. I stayed with Thorin. It was my goal to bring him back to me. I needed him. I knew that. I knew that I needed him. He just needed his gold. The Arkenstone.

“Gold - Gold beyond measure. Beyond sorrow and grief.” Thorin said.

“I know, Thorin. You have told me this before.” I whispered, sitting on a nearby pile of coins.

If he wasn’t so sick, I would have thought that he looked rather handsome in his regal clothing.

Thorin looked up. “Behold - the great treasure hoard of Thror.” He said to the others. He flung a great ruby to Fili. “Welcome, my sister’s sons, to the kingdom of EREBOR.”

And all the curses that come with it.

~-~-~-~-~-

Thorin had everyone looking for the Arkenstone. Only Bilbo seemed to be less eager. I worried for him. He was always anxious these days. I pulled him to the side when Thorin wasn’t looking. I would not risk the wrath of the dwarven king.

“What’s the matter, Bilbo? Don’t tell me that I’ve lost you to the dragon’s madness as well?” I said.

He chuckled. “No, you have not. I-” He looked nervously to the side, making sure that it was just the two of us. “I’ve found it.”

“You what?”

He took the stone out of his tunic and showed it to me. I quickly covered it up again and shoved it back to Bilbo.

“You must not show Thorin.”

“But-”

“Thror was a great king until that stone came to him. If you give it to Thorin now, he will only get worse, I gurantee it.”

“That’s what Balin said as well.”

“We three know that this is not our Thorin. This is not the same man that came to your hobbit hole all those months ago.” He nodded in agreement. “Hold onto that stone. We may yet have use of it.”

I smiled. He smiled back weakly. 

It was a long time before I was able to convince Thorin to let us rest. It was by telling him tired eyes would skip over the stone. He nodded and let them rest. He went directly to the throne room. I instinctively followed him. He sat down and looked over me. Not at me, just through me, like he was looking out over a kingdom he didn’t yet have. It was a truly sad sight. Dwalin, Balin, and Bilbo came in to report. He stood and looked where the stone used to rest. Smaug had destroyed the throne. Great claw marks rested there now.

“It is here in these halls - I know it.” Thorin said greedily.

“We have searched and searched…” Dwalin began.

“Not well enough!”

We all shied away from his voice.

“Thorin, we all would see the stone returned.”

“And yet, it is still not FOUND!”

“Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?” Balin asked. Thorin turned slowly, walking towards them. I stayed by the throne, holding onto the arm, my knuckles white.The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people.”

“It is the King’s Jewel.” Thorin said angrily. “AM I NOT THE KING?!”

Not the one we were hoping to follow, certainly.

“Know this - If anyone should find it and withhold it from me, I will be avenged.”

Bilbo and I exchanged an uneasy glance. I could imagine the weight of what was in his pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmmmm so close to the end. Can you feel it? I can feel it. mmmmmmmmmmm


	17. Our Share of the Treasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm. Here we go. Three chapters left to post. I hope you're enjoying them so far. I've actually finished writing it. And an alternate chapter in case I decide not to do the sequel. Which I probably will write, simply because I've had so much fun writing this story.

I lost track of all that Thorin did. He mainly just stared at the gold while ordering the rest of us to look for the Arkenstone. I did my best to avoid him now. I couldn’t bear to see him like that. I had always hoped that he’d be stronger than that. I should have known better. I walked through the halls of Erebor. I had known that I wouldn’t belong here. It was almost time for me to leave what was left of the company. My contract was up. I had no reason to be here. To Rivendell. That was the plan. Elrond would hopefully still welcome me with open arms.

Balin walked over to me. He had tears in his eyes.

“He’s so much like Thror.” I said quietly. 

“Yet so different. Or at least I thought so.”

“We all did.”

“What’s on your mind, child?”

“Where I will go. I think I should leave soon. Perhaps to Rivendell.”

“Rivendell? You want to leave the company?”

“Look around, Balin.” I gestured to the dwarves digging through the gold. “Is there really much of a company anymore?” He nodded. “It would be best for me to leave.”

“You’re wrong. I saw the way that he looked at you during the journey. Thorin hasn’t ever-”

“I know. Still. That Thorin is gone, isn’t he? Thror never returned to his former self. I fear Thorin will be the same.”

I turned away from Balin and walked slowly to another direction. I found Bilbo sitting alone, something in his hands. I slid down the wall next to him.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“An acorn from Beorn’s garden. For my own, back home.”

I could picture it. Bilbo sitting down, looking up from whatever book he was reading to see a great oak tree. Well, he might not be able to see it, but I hoped he would. I would certainly be there to visit him, as often as I could. Bilbo was a good friend. He thought about others before himself, as much as he could. It was what he was good at. I knew that well enough. I loved that about him. I heard footsteps, quickly coming down the hall and was not at all surprised to see Thorin. I stood quickly and kept one hand on my sword. It seemed that Thorin had found a crown. Good for him.

“What is that?!” He asked angrily, gesturing to Bilbo’s hand. Bilbo rose in shock. “In your hand!”

“It-It’s nothing.” Bilbo said quietly.

“Show me.” 

“Thorin.” I grabbed his arm. “Leave it.”

He shook me off. “This doesn’t concern you.”

“It…” Bilbo showed Thorin the acorn. “I picked it up in Beorn’s garden.”

“You’ve carried it all this way.” Thorin sighed in relief.

“I’m gonna plant it in my garden, in Bag End.”

Thorin smiled fondly. He almost looked like himself. If only the madness wasn’t still in his eyes. I took that as my leave. I walked down the steps again. I looked out. I could see the survivors from Laketown entering Dale. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw how many of them had survived. There was still hope for them. Maybe Smaug had not done as much damage as I had feared. Humans. They were always able survive and hold on, to the bitter end.

Dwalin walked forward to Thorin. He said something and Thorin started yelling again.

“Call everyone to the gate.” He strode past me. “TO THE GATE! NOW!”

Thorin’s great plan was to block the entrance Smaug had broken through. We carried smaller rocks by hand, using machines and pulleys for the larger ones. The dwarves were adept at rebuilding. Thorin didn’t help, he just oversaw, standing on one of the ledges he had had us build.

“I want this fortress made safe by sunup. This mountain was hard won - I will not see it taken again.” Thorin said.

“The people of Laketown have nothing. They came to us in need. They have lost everything.” Kili responded. He dropped his rock.

“Do not tell me what they have lost. I know well enough their hardship. Those who have lived through dragonfire should rejoice. They have much to be grateful for.” He sounded like he believed that more than anything else. Like he had done them some great favour. He looked out to Dale. He turned back to us, angrier than before. “More stone! BRING MORE STONE TO THE GATE!”

At least he was helping now somewhat. We left a small hole near the bottom. For talking, I supposed. I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to. Thorin was just simply not making sense. How could he, when he thought only of his gold? Had the others seen it yet, or was it still just Balin, Bilbo, and I? I could do nothing but wait and then leave. Balin could deal with Thorin. He was his kin, after all. 

The wall was done when Thorin designated for it to be. He still didn’t see it as enough. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with him. Nothing. The answer was nothing. I had to do nothing because Thorin didn’t matter, not when he was like this. No matter how much it hurt. I closed my eyes and forced myself to not think about what Thorin had been like not a week ago. This was not happening. It was much easier to focus on now and how I was going to leave than to think about the old Thorin and want to stay.

I leaned against the new fortification, my eyes closed and far too lost in the past.

“Eril.” I heard a soft voice in front of me. I wasn’t entirely convinced that it wasn’t just a memory. Still, I opened my eyes. It pained me to see Thorin in front of me, his eyes full of kindness. “ _Amrâlimê_ , look at me.”

He sounded the same as he did the first time that he said it.

“My eyes have not left you for an instant, _meleth-nin_.” I was quiet, my voice barely a whisper.

“I know that I have neglected you. I do apologise, sincerely. I was basking in my home.”

“It is quite lovely.”

“As are you.”

It wasn’t him.

“I have something to give you.”

It _wasn’t him_.

It was a bracelet made of white gems. Not the ones lost by Thranduil so many years ago, but very similar. It was a beautiful bracelet. If I had gotten it earlier, then I would have accepted it gratefully. Now it was just a token from a lost king. He gave me a small kiss while he put the bracelet in my hands. I smiled.

“I couldn’t possibly.” I said, giving it back to him.

“Please. There is no other I would have take this piece.”

“Keep it, Thorin.” I said, more forcefully. I smiled again and lowered my voice. “It serves more use for you.”

He thanked me and walked away with a smile. I let out a deep breath. Thorin walked back to the ramparts. I heard him shout again. I closed my eyes again and walked up, grumbling. He would probably be shouting about a bird that looked at his gold funny. I was surprised to see Bard riding up. Thorin called the other dwarves. They grabbed weapons. I looked to Dale. Elves? Thranduil. He was here for the jewels. Well. Thorin wouldn’t accept that. This was not looking very good, was it?

“Hail Thorin, son of Thrain! We are glad to find you alive beyond hope.” Bard shouted to us.

“Why do come to the gates of the King Under the Mountain armed for war?” Thorin asked.

“Why does the king under the mountain fence himself in? Like a robber in his hole.”

“Perhaps it is because I am expecting to be robbed.”

Foolish, foolish Thorin.

“My lord - We have not come to rob you, but to seek fair settlement. Will you not speak with me?”

Thorin nodded and walked down the platform. I looked to Bard desperately. I don’t think he understood entirely what I was asking him for. Thorin went to a hole in the blockade, Bard on the other side. I walked off of the rampart and stood with the group of dwarves gathered behind Thorin.

“I’m listening.” Thorin said.

I could only barely hear Bard.

“On behalf of the people of Laketown, I ask that you honor your pledge. A share of the treasure so that they might rebuild their lives.”

“I will not treat with any man while an armed host lies before my door.”

“That armed host will attack this mountain, if we do not come to terms.”

I wasn’t surprised. Thranduil was rather… persistent.

“Your threats do not sway me.”

“What of your conscience?” Thorin looked away from Bard for a moment. “Does it not tell you our cause is just?! My people offered you help. And in return you brought upon them only ruin and death!”

“When did the men of Laketown come to our aid, but for the promise of rich reward?!”

I mean, he wasn’t _wrong_.

“A bargain was struck!”

“A bargain? What choice did we have but to barter our birthright for blankets and food? To ransom our future in exchange for our freedom? You call that a fair trade? Tell me, Bard the Dragonslayer, why should I honor such terms?”

“Because you gave us your word. Does that mean nothing?”

Thorin turned away. He leaned against the blockade. He seemed so tired. Much more like the Thorin I knew. Maybe-

“Be gone, ere arrow fly!” He shouted.

Well, that was some short-lived hope.

We climbed back on the platform to watch Bard leave on horseback.

“What are you doing?! You cannot go to war.” Bilbo argued as Thorin walked away.

“This does not concern you.” Thorin said.

“Excuse me?! But just in case you haven’t noticed, there is an army of elves out there. And not to mention several hundred angry fishermen. We-We are in fact outnumbered.”

Thorin was smiling. I didn’t like that smile at all. “Not for much longer.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means Master Baggins, you should never underestimate dwarves.” Thorin turned to face us all. “We have reclaimed Erebor - Now we defend it!”

I pulled Bilbo aside as Thorin walked away.

“Tonight. We have to stop this war.” I whispered.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Bilbo nodded.

~-~-~-~-~-

Thorin had us all getting ready for war. He gave me some old elven armour that he found. He gave it to me with a smile and he kissed my hand. He smiled. But it wasn’t him. I kept reminding myself of that because if I didn’t then I would be certain to fall back under his spell. I wouldn’t allow myself to fall in again. I refused. I did put on the mail, at least. It was strong. Crafted to withstand almost anything. Would it be strong enough to withstand the knives that pierced my heart every time I looked at Thorin? I hoped so.

Thorin gifted another piece of armour to Bilbo. He summoned me to him with a gesture. I reluctantly walked over to him. Hm. I never would have thought that I would reluctantly do something for Thorin again. This was a new old feeling that I didn’t care for. Still, I reached him. We were out of earshot of the others. Thorin looked distraught. Maybe if I-

No.

“These are gifts. A token of our friendship. True friends are hard to come by.” Thorin smiled at us, but frowned when he looked back to the dwarves. “I have been blind. Now I begin to see. I am betrayed!”

“Betrayed?”

“The Arkenstone.”

Did he know? If he did, Bilbo and I would have to accelerate our plans. Bilbo shifted, but kept his face straight.

“One of them has taken it.” Bilbo relaxed. “One of them is false.”

“Thorin...the quest is fulfilled. You’ve won the mountain. Is that not enough?” I asked.

“Betrayed by my own kin.”

“No eh...You...You made a promise...to the people of Laketown. Is-Is this treasure truly worth more than your honor? Our honor, Thorin. I was also there, I gave my word. Eril gave her word.” Bilbo pointed out.

“For that I’m grateful. It was nobly done. But the treasure in this mountain does not belong to the people of Laketown! This gold...is ours...and ours alone. By my life I will not part with a single coin! Not...one...piece of it!”

His face was shrouded in shadow. Thorin backed away as the others came through, dressed for battle. I closed my eyes. I wanted to remember him for who he was before. Even as I denied it to myself, it was always there. My Thorin had to be in there, didn’t he? This was not the end, was it? I knew the answers. I was just afraid of them. 

Bilbo and I descended from the mountain together, letting a rope down from the ramparts and jumping across the broken bridge. We made haste through Dale. Thranduil That’s where we had to be. With the Arkenstone. A part of me felt terrible for betraying Thorin. The other knew that this was the right thing to do. I heard Gandalf yelling. He was yelling at Bard. That made sense. Bard was rather aggravating.

“You, Bowman! Do you agree with this? Is gold so important to you? Would you buy it with the blood of dwarves?!” Gandalf yelled.

We snuck past a few guards. Simple.

“It will not come to that. This is a fight they cannot win.” Bard insisted.

“Well, you’ve clearly never seen a dwarf in battle.” I said.

“You think the dwarves will surrender - They won’t. They will fight to the death to defend their own.” Bilbo agreed.

Gandalf looked at us in shock. “Bilbo Baggins and Eril Trahandiel!”

“We need to see Thranduil and Bard, Gandalf. We have something to discuss.” I said. 

“Yes, I can see that. Come. I will take you to him.”

We were presented before Thranduil. He looked surprised to see Bilbo and angry to see me. I didn’t care. This wasn’t his kingdom, he couldn’t do anything to me here.

“If I’m not mistaken, this is the halfling who stole the keys to my dungeons from under the nose of my guards, and this elf is banished.”

“From Mirkwood, Thranduil. Last time I checked, this is Dale.” I said confidently.

“Yes. Sorry about the keys.” Bilbo said uncomfortably.

Bilbo looked to me. I nodded. This was the right thing. He stepped forward and put a wrapped package on the table.

“I came...to give you this.”

Thranduil rose in surprise as Bilbo unwrapped the package and revealed the Arkenstone.

“The heart of the mountain! The King’s Jewel.” He said.

I was glad to know that stating the obvious was not just a trait amongst dwarves.

“And worth a king’s ransom. How is this yours to give?” Bard said in awe.

“Eril and I took it as our share of the treasure.” Bilbo said.

“Why would you do this? You owe us no loyalty.”

“Who said it was for you?” I said shortly. 

“I know that dwarves can be obstinate and pigheaded and difficult, suspicious and secretive…with the worst manners you can possibly imagine, but they also brave and kind...and loyal to a fault. I’ve grown very fond of them, and I would save them if I can.” Bilbo nodded. “Thorin values this stone above all else. In exchange for its return, I believe he will give you what you are owed. There will be no need for war!”

Gandalf, Bilbo and I walked through Dale. Gandalf and I exchanged a glance.

“Rest up tonight. You must leave on tomorrow.” Gandalf said.

“What?” Bilbo asked.

“Gandalf is right. You need to get as far away from here as possible.”

“I’m-I’m not leaving. You picked me as the fourteenth man. I’m not about to leave the company now.”

“There is no company - not any more.” I pointed out.

“And I don’t like to think what Thorin will do when he finds out what you’ve done.” Gandalf agreed.

“I’m not afraid of Thorin.”

“But you should be! Don’t underestimate the evil of gold. Gold over which a serpent has long brooded. Dragon-sickness seeps into the hearts of all who come near this mountain.” He looked at Bilbo and I appraisingly. “Almost all.”

I smiled sadly to Bilbo. “Lend me a horse, Gandalf. I have to get back to the mountain before Thorin misses me.”

“Of course, take mine. She’ll come back to me.”

I nodded my thanks and went back. I felt like a great weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I climbed back up the mountain. I knew Bilbo would come back. I left the rope down, just in case. I walked through the mountain quickly. A hand grabbed my arm and pulled me into the shadows. It was Thorin. The weight was replaced with fear. Which was replaced by confusion as he pulled me into a kiss. I wanted a few moments of the old Thorin. Just a few. 

I ran a hand through his hair, pulling lightly. Thorin placed his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him. As my hand moved up, I brushed against metal. The crown. The cold iron and gold brought me back to reality. I sighed and pulled away. Thorin held onto my hand until I was out of reach. I turned a corner and collapsed. I wanted him back with me. More than anything.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, expecting to see Thorin. It was Bilbo. I had known he would come back.

“We’ve done the right thing.” I said, reassuring myself more than him.

“I hope you’re right.” Bilbo said sadly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well, here you go, friends. This story is reaching it's ending and Thorin's a dick. Not by any fault of his own, of course. Thank you for reading and enjoying this story. It's been a lot of fun writing this story and I love it. Because of Thorin, you know? He's just so awesome. help me stop this madness ahhhjhjghfdsakj


	18. By My Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, why am I still posting? Because I'm crazy and excitable and other reasons that aren'tnsjdkhgdsjkbgvsfdkljhgnvsjfd;klbvfdkls never mind. let's go, friends.

The next morning, Thranduil and Bard came for a visit. Thorin shot an arrow at Thranduil. I couldn’t really blame him. No one liked Thranduil. I wanted to shoot him sometimes. Most times. All the time. 

Moving on.

“I will put the next one between your eyes!” Thorin declared as he notched another arrow.

The dwarves cheered. I knew what Thranduil’s next move would be. I had been a part of it many times. He turned his head to the side. I wondered if I could still do it time with the others? I drew my bow, notched an arrow, and aimed for Bard’s head. Perfectly in time. It was nice to know that if I was ever in an elvish army again, I’d be able to look proper while doing it. The dwarves instantly stopped cheering and started cowering behind the ramparts. Thorin and I stood our ground. I did it out of principle, Thorin did it out of madness. Two very different things. I hope. Thranduil raised and the elves put away their arrows. Thorin kept his bow drawn. I didn’t. Thranduil’s eyes flicked to me. I shook my head. I was never there.

“We’ve come to tell you: payment of your debt has been offered...and accepted.” Thranduil said loudly. It wasn’t quite shouting.

“What payment? I gave you nothing! You have nothing!” Now Thorin _was_ shouting.

“We have this.” Bard pulled the Arkenstone from his robes and held it above his head.

Thorin lowered his bow in shock. The dwarves peaked out over the rampart. When they saw that it was in fact the Arkenstone, they stood to their full height.

“They have the Arkenstone? Thieves! How came you by the heirloom of our house? That stone belongs to the king!” Kili yelled in anger and shock.

I wondered how far the jump would be.

“And the king may have it - in our good will.” Bard put the Arkenstone back.

If I landed in the water, surely I would survive.

“But first he must honor his word.”

I’d just have to avoid the chunks of statue that had settled there.

“They are taking us for fools. This is a ruse, a filthy lie.” Thorin whispered. Balin looked shocked. I didn’t know what I had expected. “THE ARKENSTONE IS IN THIS MOUNTAIN! IT IS A TRICK!”

“It-It’s no trick. The stone is real. I gave it to them.” Bilbo said quietly.

No, no Bilbo why? He should have let me take the blame. I stood a chance of lessening Thorin’s wrath. No. Thorin’s expression changed to that of sorrow and anger. 

“You…” Thorin’s voice was barely a whisper.

“I took it as my fourteenth share.”

“You would steal from me?”

“Steal from you? No. No. I may be a burglar, but I like to think I’m an honest one. I’m willing to let it stand against my claim.”

“Against your claim?! Your claim! You have no claim over me you miserable rat!” Thorin threw his bow to the side and started walking towards Bilbo. I drew Aduial. There was still a chance.

“I was going to give it to you. Many times I wanted to, but...”

I had to give him a chance.

“But what, thief?!”

“You are changed, Thorin! The dwarf I met in Bag End would never have gone back on his word! Would never have doubted the loyalty of his kin!”

One chance, _please_.

“Do not speak to me...of loyalty!” Thorin turned to the dwarves. “Throw him from the rampart!”

He was out of chances.

The dwarves stepped away from Thorin in shock. Thorin got more and more angry as he realised they wouldn’t obey him. 

“I will do it myself!” He lunged towards Bilbo.

“If you lay one hand on him,” I pushed Thorin against the rampart, my sword pressed against his throat. He looked at me in shock. I didn’t care. Balin stopped the others from rushing to Thorin, “then by my hand, Erebor will need a new king!”

“Even you? Even you would betray me?’

“Betray you? _Meleth-nin_ , it was my idea to give to stone to them in the first place. To help you.” I had to stop myself from reaching to brush the hair from his face.

His face fell. Then turned to anger. Then sadness, Then fury. It was quite hard to keep up with.

“Cursed be the Wizard that forced you on this Company!” He spat.

“IF YOU DON’T LIKE MY ADDITIONS…” Gandalf’s voice was amplified across the whole field. “Then please don’t damage them. Return them to me! You’re not making a very splendid figure as king under the mountain, are you? Thorin son of Thrain!”

“Never again will I have dealings with wizards...” Thorin said as I let him go and sheathed Aduial. I pushed Bilbo to the rope. “Shire-rats…” Bilbo threw the rope over the wall again. “Or _elves_.”

“Goodbye, Thorin, _King_ Under the Mountain.” I said as I climbed down the rope.

“Are we resolved? The return of the Arkenstone for what was promised.” Bard asked. I walked to Gandalf. I couldn’t look at Thorin. “Give us your answer! Will you have peace or war?”

Thorin looked to the distance before he answered. “I will have war!”

I could see why. An army of heavily armoured dwarves were approaching. Led by none other than Dain, Thorin’s cousin. Wonderful. _More dwarves._ Just what I always wanted.

“Ironfoot.” Gandalf said.

The Erebor dwarves began cheering. Did they realise what a war would do? Did they care? Perhaps they were so focused on this war they refused to see what was wrong with Thorin.

“ _Ribo i thangail_!” Thranduil shouted. 

Thranduil rode through his army as his elves and the people of Laketown turned to face the Iron Hills dwarves. Gandalf and I strode along, Bilbo struggling to keep up with us.

“Who is that? He doesn’t look very happy.” Bilbo asked.

“It is Dain, lord of the Iron Hills - Thorin’s cousin.” Gandalf responded.

“Are they alike?”

“I always found Thorin the more reasonable of the two.”

As Dain started talking, I looked back to the mountain again. Thorin was no longer standing over the ramparts. His company was. They were cheering and shouting as Dain declared war. I drew my bow and notched an arrow. I didn’t want this fight. I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to go back to last year, when I was taking odd jobs to survive. When I wasn’t worried about the Days of Old coming back. When I wasn’t constantly thinking of a damned _dwarf_ of all things! The simple days. The better days. If only. 

Or that day in the mountains. The day that Thorin almost fell and we kissed for the first time. Why couldn’t I stay in that moment forever.

I shook my head. I had to stay focused on the task at hand.

There was a great rumbling. Dain had stopped talking, at least. Gandalf muttered something about were-worms. Well, that would mean that-

A were-worm burst through the side of the mountain. Then another. And then a few more. Dain ran back to his men. The armies all turned to face the new one that had joined us. Orcs. I let loose an arrow, killing two Orcs in one shot. The elves didn’t move. Why wasn’t I surprised that Thranduil wasn’t thinking of any but the elves?

“Thranduil! This is madness!” Gandalf yelled.

Thranduil looked to the Iron Hills dwarves. They stopped fighting and built a shield wall, their spears pointed outward. The orcs were approaching quickly. Thranduil gave the order- the elves were to fight. They jumped over the dwarves and attacked the orcs. As the elves pushed forward, so did the dwarves. Dain was laughing and smiling as he rode furiously through the orcs. There was only one problem.

Thorin wasn’t here. He was still in his mountain.

I thought back to the night that Gandalf had found me. He had brought Thorin. As if he knew that I would say yes. As if he…

“Gandalf.” I said over the shouting.

“Yes, Eril?” He asked.

“Did you know what would happen with Thorin and I?”

He smiled. “I hoped.”

Damn that wizard. I cursed under my breath and looked to the mountain again. There were no dwarves that I could see there. The rope hadn’t been cut. Well. Apparently, I was going back to yet another place that I had been banished from. This was getting to be a very bad habit of mine.

~-~-~-~-~-

I climbed up the mountain side and made my way back onto the rampart. I felt cold steel against my neck. It was Balin.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” He said quietly.

“I can help him.” I said simply.

Balin smiled and nodded, letting me through. I jumped down. 

Where would Thorin be? He had to be somewhere nearby, surely. 

I made my way through Erebor, hesitant to call out his name. Then I realised there was only one place he would be. The Gallery of Kings. I walked there. I saw Thorin standing in the centre of the gold, walking in confused circles. He looked so lost here. Like he didn’t belong. He fell to his knees and started shouting. I ran forward. I slid across the gold and kneeled before him, taking him in my arms. He held onto me tightly, sobbing. He pulled off his crown and threw it across the hall.

“It’s all right, Thorin.” I whispered, kissing the top of his head. “You’re safe.”

“I am so sorry, Eril. For what I have done. For what I became.” He said.

“And now you’ve returned to me.”

I held up his face to look at me and smiled. His eyes were back to a deep blue filled with kindness and sorrow and regret. I kissed him. He kissed me back desperately, like he was trying to grasp onto something he thought he had lost. He pulled on my hair lightly to move me closer to him. I pulled away and rested my forehead against his. I couldn’t hide my smile anymore.

“Come now. We have a war to win.” I stood and held out my hand to him.

He smiled. He looked down at what he was wearing.

“I don’t want any of this. Not anymore. The things I have said… what I did to you and Bilbo...”

“Have my ears deceived me, or is this really the return of Thorin Oakenshield?”

“Are you patronising me, _elf_?”

“Of course I am, dwarf.”

Thorin shed his golden armour and strange cape. He looked far better dressed as he had been the first time that I ever saw him. I was a little reluctant to go to battle without him wearing any armour, but he was rather insistent. I would just have to make sure that he didn’t die, then. We made our way to where the dwarves were. Kili was the first to see us. He didn’t say anything to me. He was far too focused on his uncle. 

“I will not hide behind a wall of stone, while others fight our battles for us!” Kili said as he approached Thorin. I stopped a little ways off. “It is not in my blood, Thorin.”

They stopped in front of each other.

“No, it is not. We are sons of Durin. And Durin’s folk do not flee from a fight.” Thorin laid his hand on Kili’s shoulder, smiling. Kili smiled back. I could see the tears of joy. The two dwarves touched forehead for a moment. Thorin turned to the rest of the dwarves. “I have no right to ask this of any of you; but will you follow me one last time?”

We all raised our weapons, prepared to fight for the King Under the Mountain. Prepared to fight for Thorin Oakenshield.

We all gathered to the side the gate. Bombur was near the war horn, prepared to signal our arrival to the battle. I took Thorin’s hand.

“Are you ready?” He asked me.

“Of course. As long as I don’t die in the process.” I joked.

“I won’t let you.”

“Great. I’ll have a dwarf watching my back.”

“That’s dwarf _king_. And don’t forget I’ve been in many battles.”

“I’ve been in more.”

“Agreed.” He gave the signal to Bombur.

Bombur let the horn ring through the land. The fighting outside stopped as all eyes turned to Erebor, I was sure. After another moment, Thorin gave another signal. The great golden bell was swung through the gate. One more signal. We ran through, weapons drawn and ready for blood. Thorin called to the dwarves, raising his sword. The dwarves started rallying to us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only translation you should need, is Thranduil saying "rush the shield force"
> 
> hjfbvkjfdnbfkjdbhdk so close to the end I've got to make one change and then it's done.


	19. The Battle Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter to post.

It was really good to kill orcs. It felt right. After all the hardships that they had put us through, it was just really, really good to kill them. Thorin and I fought side by side, making sure that neither one of us got hurt. It was even better to be fighting with Thorin. He was the only king that I enjoyed fighting for. I wondered why. I threw an arrow at an oncoming orc. What? There wasn’t enough time to draw my bow _and_ notch an arrow. I made due with what I had.

“Dain!” Thorin called.

Great. Family reunion.

“Thorin! Hold on! I’m coming!” Dain shouted back.

Well, who was I to deny them that reunion? I helped Thorin fight his way to his cousin.

“Hey cousin, what took you so long?!”

They hugged. Was now really the time for a hug? If I hadn’t been there keeping the orcs at bay… dwarves!

“Please tell me it had something to do with that she-elf there.” Dain said.

“Don’t, Dain.” Thorin said darkly.

“Not the time to be picking fights with people on your side, Thorin!” I shouted as I killed another orc.

“Of course not.” He agreed half-heartedly.

“There’s too many of these buggars, Thorin. I hope you’ve got a plan.” Dain said, a stupid smile on his face. 

Thank you Dain for changing the subject.

“Aye - We’re going to take out their leader!”

What.

“Azog...”

Bad idea.

Thorin mounted a lard goat that Dain’s army had brought. No. I did not like where this was goin. This was a bad idea. I could feel it. Thorin was a little deranged.

“I’m gonna kill that piece of filth!” He held out his hand to me. “Are you with me?”

“Have I ever been against you?”

I sighed and got on the back of a different goat. Dwalin, Fili, and Kili joined us. The five of us charged toward Azog’s hill. Ravenhill. Fun.

“Lead on!” Dwalin declared.

We rode our, erm, goats up the mountain. Any orcs that were foolish enough to try and stop us were either knocked over the side or run through with a sword. When we reached a clearing, I jumped off my goat, very happy to be on solid ground again. It didn’t take long for us to defeat the enemies present. But Azog was nowhere to be seen. I looked out across the frozen river. The signalling machines were visible. He was nowhere.

“Where is he?” Thorin asked.

“Looks empty. I think Azog has fled!” Oh to be young and foolish like Kili again… Nevermind. I would probably be killed if I thought like he did.

“I don’t think so...Fili, take your brother. Scout out the towers. Keep low and out of sight. If you see something; report back, do not engage - do you understand?!”

Fili and Kili nodded.

“We have company; Goblin mercenaries. No more than a hundred.” Dwalin came from over a ridge.

Yep. Those were certainly a lot of goblins. Nothing we couldn’t handle.

“We’ll take care of them. Go! Go!”

“Come on!” Dwalin yelled. 

Was that a little laugh that I heard? This was going to be rather fun. Goblins were about the same challenge as orcs. Fili and Kili ran toward the river. I swung my sword, loosening my grip. This would be simple. It might take a while just by number, but this would be entertaining. I found myself smiling as well. Thorin and I fought side by side. We were able to work well together. A goblin struck at me from behind. Thorin rolled over my back and sliced off it’s head. I thanked him. I slashed at one that had taken an opportunity to try and kill us while our guard was down.

With that, we had won this part of the battle. I was looking around anxiously. It was too quiet. I didn’t like this. I took Thorin’s hand for reassurance. I could use it right now. He didn’t look any more confident than I did.

“Where is that orc filth?” Dwalin asked.

“Thorin…” Bilbo said.

Bilbo? When did- I turned around. Yep. It was the small hobbit. He was leaning onto his knees trying to catch his breath.

“Bilbo!” Thorin smiled in relief. He was struggling to find the words.

“You have to leave here! Now! Azog has another army attacking from the north. This watchtower will be completely surrounded. There’ll be no way out.” 

“We are so close! That orc scum is in there. I say we push on.” Dwalin nodded like this was the best idea.

Thorin looked to the ruins. “No! That’s what he wants. He wants to draw us in.” His eyes widened in horror. “This is a trap!” He turned to Dwalin. “Find Fili and Kili! Call them back!”

“Thorin, are you sure about this?”

“Do it. We live to fight another day.”

A drum sounded from Ravenhill. Azog was back at the tower. And he was dragging a bloodied Fili. He started talking in the Black Speech. I choked, but translated to the best of my ability.

“This one dies first. Then the brother,” I said as Azog spoke, my voice getting weaker with each word. “Then you, Oakenshield.” I stopped and shuddered. “You will die last.”

“No! RUN!” Fili yelled.

Azog lifted up Fili by his neck, holding him out over the tower. The world around us went silent. Fili looked at us sadly. There was no hope. But there had to be. Azog stabbed Fili through the chest. Thorin yelled out his name in agony. I couldn’t translate anymore. Azog dropped Fili. I saw Kili rushing up from the bottom of the tower.

“KILI!” Thorin yelled.

“No! No Thorin!” I started to run for him. Dwalin grabbed me. “Let me go! He can’t do this on his own!”

“He has to.” Dwalin said sadly. “We need you here. To hold back to orcs from this end.”

“But-” I looked at Thorin. He was facing down Azog. Kili was further up. I had to. This was all I could do. “Fili. I can save Fili.”

“Can you?”

“Maybe.”

“Go!” Bilbo said as Dwalin left. “Come back when you can.”

I ran to the base of the tower. Fili was alive, but only just. He was struggling to keep his eyes open. I reached into my bag and pulled out a few leaves. I whispered a blessing and crushed them to a paste. I laid it over Fili’s wounds. They closed and he took a deep breath.

“Don’t move, Fili. You can’t move. Azog and his orcs must think you’re dead. I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“Thank you.” He said weakly. 

“We’ll get you to a real healer soon. Those leaves won’t be enough to heal the wounds from the fall. Just… stay awake, okay?”

I ran back to Bilbo and Dwalin. There were orcs climbing over the ruins. I took out my bow and started taking out the front lines. Dwalin was deep in the thrall. I kept on looking back at Thorin. He seemed to be doing all right. I just couldn’t focus. Not while he was out there. Alone. He could die. I had just gotten him back. It would kill me. I don’t know how many times I had said that. Even just losing him to the dragon’s madness had hurt. I wouldn’t let him die.

“Dwalin! Have you got this?” I asked as I fought back another dwarf.

“Yeah!” He laughed. “Go to Thorin!”

First, Fili.

“Bilbo, go to Fili.”

“But he’s-” Bilbo looked at him

I shook my head. “Go. Keep his eyes open. Can you do that?”

I thanked him and started running. I was in no mood to fight petty battles with orcs. I quickly cut down the ones that came after me as I made my way to the courtyard where Thorin was still fighting Azog. He managed to knock Azog off of the tower. I climbed up the steps. He looked shocked to see me, but no less determined to defeat Azog. He moved to jump down. A group of orcs jumped into the courtyard. Thorin groaned in frustration. With my help, we were able to get rid of them quickly.

“What are you doing here, Eril?” He asked me while we fought.

“You must be insane if you think that I’m going to just watch.” I responded.

“As grateful as I am, this is my fight.”

“Please. I’m not going to take your fight from Azog. I’m just going to make sure you don’t die in the process.”

“Your faith in me is ever unwavering.”

“I can’t risk it.” I stood in front of him. It seemed they were defeated. “ _Gerog i chûn nîn mi i chaim gîn, meleth-nin._ ”

“ _Amrali, ghivashel_.” He gave me a small kiss before turning to chase Azog.

I stood my ground at the courtyard. The occasional orc would come up. I didn’t want to leave Thorin. That feeling was greater than my wish to help the others. I heard Azog shout to his orcs. They started charging down to Thorin. I started to make my way to him. I heard orcs from behind me. I cursed and turned around. I couldn’t exactly go off running to Thorin while I was being attacked. I sighed and started hacking and slashing. One of them got a hit in on my side. I yelled in pain. It really was nothing, more of a shock. I paid him back by stabbing him in the stomach. I prayed Thorin hadn’t let himself be distracted. That was really just wishful thinking. He was looking at me. Thankfully, Legolas was shooting orcs. I waved him off. I was fine. He had his own orcs to worry about. To prove it, I pulled out my bow and started shooting the orcs charging him.

Thorin’s sword had broken at some point. I started climbing down the tower. Another orc rushed Thorin, causing him to slide across the ice to the edge of the waterfall. Thorin knocked over his attacker. His sword was stuck in that orc. Another one came to attack him. He was defenseless. I started running to him, sliding across the ice. I was surprised when Orcrist landed in the orc’s chest. Thorin grabbed the hilt as the orc fell. I felt myself sigh in relief. It wasn’t over. Azog was next to Thorin and I was still on the other side of the river. Thorin and Azog approached each other slowly. A horn sounded. More orcs were coming. Azog charged Thorin. I was torn. What was I supposed to do? I pulled my bow and started shooting at the oncoming orc forces. I heard Thorin call my name. I didn’t look back. No time. I heard Azog laugh.

“I see now. You love the she-elf.” Azog said. Not that Thorin understood. “I will make sure that she sees you die.”

“No!” I yelled. I turned and fired an arrow at Azog. It bounced off of his armour.

I was nothing but a pest to him. Thorin was his real prize.

“Stay there, Eril!” Thorin ordered. I couldn’t let him do this alone.

I had no other choice, did I?

As the two fought, the ice continued cracking. This didn’t stop them. Azog swung his boulder and chain. The ice beneath them broke apart. Thorin stumbled over an edge. Azog knocked his legs out from under him. Thorin rolled away. I was having trouble watching this. I had to keep on looking back and forth from their fight to the orcish horde. 

The eagles were coming. They came through to the orc reinforcements from Gundabad. Beorn jumped off of the eagle and turned himself into a bear. He let out a mightly roar.

I looked back to Thorin. He had thrown his sword down. What was he planning? He reached forward and tossed the rock Azog was holding to Azog, who instinctively caught it. Thorin jumped off of the ice piece. Azog started to fall. He scrabbled at the edge, but the chain pulled him down to his death. Thorin was panting in exhaustion. I started to walk to him. He smiled when he saw me. Was it really over? It had to be now. Thorin looked down. He started walking. He must have seen Azog floating through the ice. He stopped near the edge.

Thorin yelled suddenly in pain. I saw the tip of a sword piercing his foot. I ran forward as Azog burst through the ice, casting aside the things slowing me down: my bow and quiver, my bag. The force of the ice coming up sent me flying back. Thorin was pinned down. I couldn't get to him. Thorin stopped Azog from stabbing him in the stomach by using Orcrist to push the blade back up. Azog had superior position.

Thorin looked at me sadly. I shook my head. I knew his plan. I knew it and it wouldn’t work because… no. I could practically feel it like it was going through my own chest. Thorin allowed Azog’s blade to stab him through the heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I mean Fili survived.
> 
> translations:
> 
>  _Gerog i chûn nîn mi i chaim gîn, meleth-nin._ \-- You hold my heart in your hands, my love
> 
>  _Amrali, ghivashel_ \-- I love you, treasure of treasures


	20. The End of it All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will they live happily ever after? Will I kill off Thorin? What will happen? Well, you're going to learn if you calm down and read the story god. Go and read it and I'll start on a sequel. Which I may not even post. This may be the last chapter you read. hgkshgkj

Thorin stabbed Azog in return. I yelled out in my own personal agony. He flipped Azog onto his back and forced Orcrist through the ice. I stood and ran to Thorin. He had managed to stand. He made his way to a stone and fell on his back. No. No this wasn’t happening. Because if this was happening, then that meant that I was… that he was… it couldn’t be happening. Bilbo was running towards us, Fili in tow. Fili looked at his uncle in shock and fear. Bilbo slid over next to me and looked desperately at Thorin and myself.

No, no no no. This wasn’t happening. Thorin was not dying, because if he was dying then that meant that I would lose him and I couldn’t do that. I kneeled next to him, putting pressure on his wound. He reached up and gently caressed my cheek.

“I’m sorry. It seems you were right. ” He began, turning his head to the side. He smiled when he saw Fili, alive but not so well. “Fili! You’re alive. Thank Durin. I had thought that the line was wiped out.”

“You stop that right now. Because you’re not going to die here. I refuse to hear of it.” I looked around desperately as Thorin closed his eyes. “No you don’t! Open your eyes, Thorin! Bilbo, my bag! Go now, quickly!” Bilbo complied and dropped the bag before me. I reached in and pulled out the leaves again. I whispered the blessing and I quickly beat them into a pulp with an arrow before applying it to Thorin’s wounds. It worked for Fili. It had to work now. The wound closed. But his eyes wouldn’t open. I laid my head against his chest. His heartbeat was fading quickly. What could I do? I couldn’t let him die. I wouldn’t. I put my hands over his heart. There was an old elvish blessing that allowed for us to connect our lifeforce to another. A few words and I would be able to save him. I had to save him. Gandalf moved to stop me. When had he gotten here? I didn’t care. 

“If you do that, you will die.” He warned, reading my thoughts, apparently.

“Not necessarily. I’ve lived a long life. He might… Eru might… he might give me more time. For my years of service.” I could feel the tears starting to form.

“Eril-”

“He can’t die! Not now! I just got him back! I won’t lose him again!”

“Then he will lose you. You know that he would not ask for that. He would never forgive himself.”

“I can’t forgive myself if I let him die without trying.”

I held my hands over his heart and closed my eyes. I prayed silently before I started speaking. The words were dangerous. They were words we were all taught, in case we had to use it, but we were encouraged not to. I whispered them. I willed for Thorin to come back. I could feel my life draining into his. I felt his heart start beating again. It was working. He was coming back to me. I opened my eyes. Thorin’s were finally opened. He looked at me.

“What are you-” He began. 

I didn’t respond.

“Eril, your hair.” He took a lock in his hands. It was much lighter than it usually was. Oh. “Stop. Stop this.”

No. I couldn’t. 

I was hit over the head with something and knocked out.

When I awoke, Tauriel was leaning over Thorin, whispering an elvish blessing. Her skin was pale and her hair was turning gray. I moved to stop her. Gandalf grabbed me round the waist and held me to his side.

“You cannot interrupt her now!”

“She’ll die!”

“As you would have! This is her choice. Let her make it.”

Tauriel stopped talking. She smiled when she looked to me. I slid across the ice towards her. Thorin took a breath, his eyes opened suddenly. I pulled him into a hug. Despite everything. He was my Thorin. He was alive. Tauriel. She had collapsed. I moved to her and took her hand. It was so cold. She had Kili’s runestone in her other hand.

“Thank you, Tauriel. You have given me the one thing of which I would ask for.” I whispered.

“I wish I could have the same.”

“You can.”

I took the runestone from her hand. I whispered a few words and held up the stone, willing for the gods to listen. They must have heard my prayer. A ghostly form of Kili showed up. He kneeled next to Tauriel. He knew my plan. I could see it in his eyes. 

“You must leave.” I said to the others.

“But that’s-” Fili began sadly.

“Go now. What I am about to say… these words must not be heard by mortals.”

“Kili is mortal.”

“Not any longer. I am sorry, Fili, but there is only a short time before he fades. I must do this.”

Gandalf was the one who eventually got everyone to leave. It was just the three of us. It was a marriage blessing. An elvish wedding so they could be together in death. When it was finished, Tauriel died and Kili faded away again. I walked to the others at the base of the mountain. Thorin and I were side by side. We walked together.

“What did you do?” He asked me finally.

“When?”

“For Tauriel. And Kili.”

“I married them. We believe that you can get married once, in life and death. Husbands and wives meet again when they die. Kili and Tauriel loved each other. They deserved that, to be together.”

“Thank you.”

I nodded.

~-~-~-~-~-

Thorin stood before me as I packed my things.

“What Balin said was true, then, You are really leaving us.” Thorin said. “Leaving me.”

“You’re safe. You have your kingdom. You have your jewel. Everything you wanted is yours.”

“Not everything. You saved my life.”

“Tauriel did. She died for it, so make sure you live it to the fullest, Thorin Oakenshield. I’m returning to Rivendell with Bilbo.”

“Is this truly what you want?”

I couldn’t keep a straight face for long.

“No, Thorin, of course it isn’t. I’m returning as soon as I can. I just want to see Bilbo off.”

“You’re very cruel.” He sighed in relief.

“Yes, I am.”

I turned back to my packing. 

“What I am about to do is not traditional. It is very far from tradition, actually, but so are we. Eril, I would like- no, I need for you to marry me.”

“Excuse me?” I turned to him. That got my attention.

“Marry me, Eril Trahandiel. Be my queen, please.”

“Thorin, you-”

“I was not myself. You and Balin saw that and I ignored you. I said things to you that I regret, that I greatly regret and see now I will regret for the rest of my life.” He stood next to me and took my hands. 

“And now? What would stop you from returning to those ways?”

“Well, I would be too afraid of your bow and vicious tongue to ever defy you.”

“Then how could I deny such a break from tradition. A male dwarf asking for the hand of another in marriage. It’s unheard of.”

“Completely out of character.”

“Scandalous.”

He kissed me.

We went through the motions of an elvish betrothal. Once I explained them to Thorin, that is. He smiled when he learned he had to make a ring. Well, two, technically. One for now, and another for when we were actually married. That was for another day. I had to make one of my own. We presented them to each other in the presence of the company. Neither of us had parents so melding the houses didn’t really work. Still. The company was our family. There was no one else we would have rather had there. 

“Well,” I said at the end of it all, looking at the beautiful silver band on my hand, “I guess that makes it official then.”

“It would seem so.”

May we stay happy and live long lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. Happily ever after. Even for Kili. Yeah!


	21. Sneak Peek of "Returned"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself! I started writing the story, and I had to use the alternate chapter 20! In which Kili, Fili, and Thorin all died. Very sad. Anyway. here you go, guys! Enjoy the sneak peek of _Returned_ , the sequel of _Exile_!

_Thorin stabbed Azog in return. I yelled out in my own personal agony. He flipped Azog onto his back and forced Orcrist through the ice. I stood and ran to Thorin. He had managed to stand. He made his way to a stone and fell on his back. No. No this wasn’t happening. Because if this was happening, then that meant that I was… that he was… it couldn’t be happening. Bilbo was running towards us. He slid over next to me and looked desperately at Thorin and myself._

_No, no no no. This wasn’t happening. Thorin was not dying, because if he was dying then that meant that I would lose him and I couldn’t do that. I kneeled next to him, putting pressure on his wound. He reached up and gently caressed my cheek._

_“I’m sorry. It seems you were right. ” He began._

_“You stop that right now. Because you’re not going to die here. I refuse to hear of it.” I looked around desperately. “Bilbo, my bag! Go now, quickly!” Bilbo complied and dropped the bag before me. I reached in and pulled out the leaves I had gathered from Mirkwood. I quickly beat them into a pulp with an arrow before applying it to Thorin’s wounds. The wound closed. But his eyes wouldn’t open. I laid my head against his chest. His heartbeat was fading quickly. What could I do? I couldn’t let him die. I wouldn’t. I put my hands over his heart. There was an old elvish blessing that allowed for us to connect our lifeforce to another. A few words and I would be able to save him. I had to save him. Gandalf moved to stop me. When had he gotten here? I didn’t care._

_“If you do that, you will die.” He warned, reading my thoughts, apparently._

_“Not necessarily. I’ve lived a long life. He might… Eru might… he might give me more time. For my years of service.” I could feel the tears starting to form._

_“Eril-”_

_“He can’t die! Not now! I just got him back! I won’t lose him again!”_

_“Then he will lose you. You know that he would not ask for that. He would never forgive himself.”_

_“I can’t if I let him die without trying.”_

_I held my hands over his heart and closed my eyes. I prayed silently before I started speaking. The words were dangerous. They were words we were all taught, in case we had to use it, but we were encouraged not to. I whispered them. I willed for Thorin to come back. Nothing was happening. There was nothing. I started over. Nothing. No. Please no. I opened my eyes. Thorin’s heartbeat was completely gone. He was gone. I laid over his chest. Tears flooded down my cheeks. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I couldn’t let this happen._

_“It’s over, Eril.” Bilbo said sadly._

_“I know.” I whispered. “I just… I loved him so much. I can’t lose him like this.”_

_They let me stay there for a long time. But we had to have a funeral. Thorin’s body was burned with Fili and Kili’s. I left almost immediately after. I couldn’t possibly say anything to anyone. I couldn’t find my voice. I just felt dead. I had always said losing Thorin would kill me. I just couldn’t let myself feel anything. I went back to Thranduil. After I had presented him with the Arkenstone, he had offered me my place back. I finally understood why he had acted the way that he had when he lost his wife. This was the end of it all._

I woke up with a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here is the link to _Returned_. I hope that if you enjoyed this story, you'll enjoy the next one just as much! [ _Returned_ link](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8638090/chapters/19809301)


End file.
